My brother is going through this exact situation. He got his wife a 38 special. S&W 442 I think but she didn't really like the long trigger pull. So he traded it for a ruger lcp and even though its much easier she still doesn't like the trigger pull. She loves shooting his ruger sr9. So hes about to trade in the lcp and get her the new sr9 compact that just came out.
Go with a compact 9 thats a little bit heavier. The new kel tec compact 9 has horrible recoil and she would never be able to get fast follow up shots on target with a small 9 like that.