YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A REDNECK
CHURCH WHEN..........................

1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the finance
committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of
a chandelier because none of the members knows how to
play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if people ask,
when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the
two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used
to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if when the
pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up
the offering," five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if opening day
of deer season is recognized as an official church
holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if a member of
the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't
get out of."
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the choir is
known as the "OK Chorale."
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if in a
congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last
names in the church directory.
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if people think
"rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if the baptismal
pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.

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NOT SO FAST,, NOT-- SO-- FAST