These are great stories, and I'll add one: after drenching me with a pitcher full of ice water at a Denny's when I was 16, the waitress looks at me and says, "Oh don't worry Hon, there's no charge for the bath."
However, while this may not earn me any points with the OP, the original photo that started this thread has been on the Internet
at least since May 9, 2009:
demotivational posters - Commitment To Excellence - The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. commitment, excellence, restaurant, vincent lombardi 17581 (see photo attached).
What the hell, the some stories are so good that if they ain't exactly true, they sure 'nuff oughta be.
Bullseye