Ok, I just came dangerously close to sending my guide rod flying through the screen on a $2k laptop. I think it's time to take a break from this problem.

Do any of you think a new recoil spring or guide rod would solve the problem?

I tried removing the recoil spring, and I was able to re-assemble the pistol (had to hold it upside down to keep it all in place though). Obviously this isn't a solution, just a data point.