I've owned full size M&P's in every caliber. I would rank recoil in order from least to most in this order:

9mm
357sig
45acp
40s&w

I normally don't buy 40cal pistols any more because the recoil is too snappy. That being said, I find that the full size M&P has the least recoil of any 40cal I have ever owned (and that is several).