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Old 05-22-2011, 10:00 AM
Steve in Vermont Steve in Vermont is offline
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If you want to meet the next generation of abusers/abused look to the children of these folks. That's where the learning takes place. The boys learn to use physical violence to get their way, something that frequently shows up in schools as bullying. The girls learn more subtle ways of coping, such as verbal skills and how to act in certain situations. All to often, however, the skills these girls are learning are geared toward abusive men (their father and how their mother deals with his behavior) and they have little or no experience in dealing with someone who is "pro social". Hence they are attracted to the "bad boys" since that's all they know. It comes down to power and control and men try to obtain it by physical means. The problems get worse when the woman stands up to the negative behavior and the man feels it's necessary to escalate the violence to achieve his objective and regain "control" of the situation. When the man finds nothing is working, and he has lost total control of the situation, that's when it becomes most dangerous. This is why parents are the most important factor in a child's life. For better of worse we're the role models for them and what they learn from us is what they bring to their lives as adults. It's a complicated subject but one that's not going away in our lifetime.
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