Twomoons, I can't say what the softest recoiling shotgun out there is but my 20 ga. Remington 870 "tactical" with the Knoxx Stock has very little felt recoil.

When you get it fully loaded with 7 rounds of 2 3/4" shotshells is is pretty heavy, which should'nt be that big of an issue for home defense.

One word of caution on the Knoxx Stock. I have heard reports of people getting their cheek pinched pretty good where the smaller tube slides through the larger one. While I have never had that happen, and I have shot my 870 quite a bit, I can see how it could pinch you when the two tubes compress together during recoil.

Since I carry my 870 on a regular basis (almost every night) I always keep my stock telescoped in fairly short for ease of handling so the "tube meet" isn't lined up with my cheek and do have a 3-point sling on it so one strap of the sling actually rides between the stock & my cheek. Maybe that's why I've never had a problem.

I have quite a few shotguns but the 20 ga. 870 is my "go to" shotgun. In addition to the 3-point sling I also have a Streamlight TLR2s (I run a green filter) with forestock mounted switchpad on it. This set-up has proven itself time & time again in a night-time, critter control application and I have absolutely no doubt that it would be equally effective on larger "critters." When winter arrives and the outdoor activity shuts down it get's fully loaded with 3" No.2 Buck just in case I do run into a larger critter.

Edited to add: It's been a while since I got a shot of my tools so I went out and did a quick photo shoot.

Here's the 870 in it's "work clothes" with it's night shift co-workers. Note the rubber Hogue Hand-All grip on the pistol grip portion of the stock, which was installed because I always wear fingerless gloves, usually just brown jersey's with the fingers cut-off, and the rubber helped with the grip on the cloth gloves. The stock grip works fine with bare hands.