So you've been flooded with personal preferences but not that much objective info. Here is the skinny:

1. Size of grip--the smaller the grip, the more concealable it is. Conversely, the smaller the grip, the more it beats up your hand. And the harder it is to shoot accurately. That is why a lot of the guys here have basically full-size grips, same size as on a K-frame or L-frame, on their J-frames. Because they are a hell of a lot easier to shoot well and a hell of a lot more comfortable to shoot on top of that.

But--if you are carrying--that's another story.

2. Grip material--softer and more grippy is more comfortable/less punishing to shoot. But, it's much harder to conceal if you are actually walking around in public. Rubber grips grab clothing, hike it up in odd ways, make very noticeable prints. Wood grips don't, obviously, because they are smooth and fabric rides over them very naturally.

So you will have to find a balance depending on your use. Mostly a range gun, maybe it lives in your glove box or center console or maybe an answer-the-door-gun once in a while? A full-size rubber grip might be perfect.

But if you are going to carry this thing in public? That changes everything.

The best compromise I've found for concealed carry is a larger wooden grip. Something that allows you to get all three fingers on (rather than leaving your pinky with nothing to grab on) but that is wood so it doesn't grab your clothes.

I've gone with the badgers grips, 3 fingers, which fit this bill pretty well. The design is not perfect, the screw comes loose every couple hundred rounds, but they conceal well and they shoot well.

Spegel makes a slightly extended (3 finger) J-frame grip as well. He's sort of looked at as being the bees knees. If you order direct from him, you wait a while but it's half the price. If you buy his grips from someone else, you get them quick but you pay 2x as much.

Good luck. In my experience, it usually takes a bit of messing around and actually owning various grips before you find your favorite, esp on a compact gun where you are balancing two completely different goals against each other--shootability vs conceability.