I've been reloading for a few years and about 185,000 rounds. I've been loading a lot of .38 Special this past year or so. I like light accurate loads. I use 125 gr lead round nose and 158 gr lead swc. I like Bullseye. I have a few manuals. I always start with the minimum load listed. Most of these are very comfortable, but maybe not the most accurate. When I'm starting a new load for a particular bullet, powder, or gun, or any combination, I end up with a few different combinations which work for me.

Try the starting loads. They should clear the end of the barrel and have minimal recoil. Safe and light will be a good place to start.

I'm shooting 3.1 Bullseye with the 125 gr at 25 yards with spectacular results out of my 14-3 and 15-2. My 19s, 4 & 6" seem to like 3.4 Bullseye with the 158 gr swc. Both loads are very mild recoil.

I have small hands and prefer the Ahrends retro combat grips. Sometimes the grips make as much difference for felt recoil as the loads.