The fact that the absence of an external safety bothers you tells me that you're on the right track. This is just my personal opinion but, there are a lot of fine semi-auto pistols out there with safeties or the ability to de-cock once a round is chambered.
John3200 mentioned Sig Sauers, I love my P229. No thumb safety but a nice heavy DA trigger pull. Bottom line: Buy what you are comfortable with.
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