The fact that the absence of an external safety bothers you tells me that you're on the right track. This is just my personal opinion but, there are a lot of fine semi-auto pistols out there with safeties or the ability to de-cock once a round is chambered.

John3200 mentioned Sig Sauers, I love my P229. No thumb safety but a nice heavy DA trigger pull. Bottom line: Buy what you are comfortable with.