The Winchester 110gr silver tip and Federal 125gr Nyclad are the ligtest SD loads for the light weight J frame snub nose revolver in the 13 to 16oz class..............and with the light penetration two shots or more may be needed.

The lighest recoil with a medium 135gr factory Gold Dot is about as good as it gets for minimum recoil in a SD +P load for a snub nose.

For lead bullet SD the 148 BBwc will not seperate or tumble at high velositys like the HBwc bullet, which makes it the best for light lead bullets that will penetrate without the heavy recoil of the 158 swc lead bullets with velositys near 850 fps. Fast 148 BBwc bullets can over penetrate if pushed too hard so you need to find a load that will work for the lady and your revolver c/o recoil and velositys.
Remington's 148 HBwc out of a snub nose run around 640fps and have only 135 ft/lbs of energy. You can get 197ft/lbs if it can get a 148 gr up to 775 fps which has more energy and penetration than the winchester 110gr Jhp.
Buffalo Bore has a 150 gr lead wc you might look into if the Jacket bullets do not work out for you.

That 34oz Steel K frame snub nose should do well with the spouse and in time, hope she will get a bang out of shooting some +P ammo.