There is really no quick fix to a good SD load with low recoil.
When you increase the fps of lead it gains in heavy recoil and
if you drop the fps with JHP bullets you risk failure to expand.

In the 16oz. J frame:

A 110gr JHP at 866fps has 183 ft/lbs of ME and a recoil of 3.92.
A 125gr JHP at 836fps has 194 ft/lbs of ME and ............. 4.60
A 158gr Lead at 750fps at 197 ft/lbs of ME and ............. 5.73

Even if you find a large, heavy, 158gr lead box of ammo out there
at a lower speed of 725fps with 184 ft/lbs, that will match the light weight
110gr JHP, the recoil will still be at 5.25.

Only way out is to shoot the 148gr target load that has 150 ft/lbs of ME and hope for the best.
When energy's get this low, I start to think about a large can of pepper spray!!