I think the OP has construed thoughts on the relation between bullet weight and the 'power' of a cartridge.

The weight of a bullet, has NOTHING to do with how powerful the round is, how much recoil is produced, or how the firing feels in your hand.

The powder and amount, in a particular round, is what determines the power. Whether the bullet is heavier or lighter just affects how fast it travels and how much force it transfers in relation to the charge behind it.

That 125 Buffalo Bore may very well be more powerful than the 158gr Speer. Doesn't have anything to do with bullet weight.

Just want to throw that out there because I am seeing confusion. It sure seems like the OP is basing his choice on which to use primarily on what the bullet weight is. As if the bullet weight determines the power of the round.

For most SD situations, you will probably find most people using 140gr+, usually 158gr. I use 140gr XTP home brews. You can usually get the heavier bullets just as fast as lighter ones, but they dump more energy off at impact.