I'll echoed previous posts in this thread.

Personally, I went with 147 gr HST. I'm too lazy to do my own testing or contradict what the FBI recommends...if it's good enough for the FBI, it's good enough for me.

In terms of P+, I prefer standard. Pistols rounds do not have the knock down power of long guns and I'd rather put a larger round in an attacker in hope for more hollow point surface area damage. My priority in a SD situation is follow-up shots and I believe standard rounds provide a little less recoil than their + counter parts giving up an insignificant velocity advantage.

In terms of wear and tear, that has never crossed my mind since S&W provide lifetime warranty and is very good at honoring it. Shoot it, wear it down, then send it in for free repair if need be.