This is in response to an old thread, but having done quite a bit of experimentation in this area I thought I'd add my 2 cents. Several years ago I began teaching my wife to shoot. I was away from home frequently and we live in the country a good half hour from police response. I had a Chief's special and bought some standard loads which proved to be way more than she could shoot comfortably so I broke out my reloading gear (which I hadn't used since the 70's) and began working. To make a long story short, I came up with a very comfortable practice load--148 gr Speer HBWC over 1.5 grains of Trailboss. Recoil is negligible, and ignition has proven very reliable. I've shot these through 2", 4" and 6" barrels with good no problems. I seat the bullets flush with the case mouth, and apply a good stiff crimp. I put a set of hogue grips on the gun which help when firing defense loads--4.7 gr Unique/158 gr Speer SWCHP--which she does infrequently.
I believe there is a great advantage in being able to do a lot of practice with one's defense gun, building confidence. In the event of a defense emergency, adrenalin would likely make one unaware of the increased recoil of the hotter loads. This exercise has had the added benefit of re-igniting my interest in handloading, a wonderful hobby for us retired guys.