Sounds like you've got a lot going on there. Assuming you wish to keep the relationship, a cooling off period without raised voices and ultimatums might be in order. Afterward, a negotiated settlement to arrive at a compromise ought to be possible.

We live in a very safe area, and it's just the two of us. We don't carry at home, but our carry's are usually at arms length and never more than two steps away. We both arm when there is a knock at the door, or to go outside.

What makes sense and works for us though is irrelevant for your situation though. Good luck.