Actually, I talk to the people I know, so I'm referring to what I know.

All of us always speak from our perspective.

We have plenty of rattlesnakes where I live. I killed on the other day that was coiled up on the front porch. I generally prefer to ignore rattlesnakes than to kill them, but not when they are at my door.

Where I live, I'm more likely to be bit by a rattlesnake than have my home invaded. I suppose I could wear knee-high, heavy leather boots, just in case. After all, better to wear them and not need them than to need them and not have them. It only takes one bite, after all! Why take chances with my life?

But I don't wear knee-high, heavy leather boots. I also don't wear a beekeeper's suit when passing next to a tree near our back door which literally is humming with bees at this time of year. The bees CAN get aggressive, but the risk is low and a beekeeper's suit is uncomfortable. Of course, I could be badly stung by hundreds of bees later today...but I'll take my chances.

I have no objections to someone wearing a gun in their house. I prefer that to someone stashing loaded guns around. It is safer to carry than to stash because someone who is carrying controls who can get hold of the gun.

What I reject is that it is a necessary precaution that all should follow. And if one's wife strongly objects, then a drag out fight with ultimatums isn't a good way to proceed. As you wrote, "Events and time brought her around to being not only pro-gun, but to getting training, a handgun license and competing." Patience, trying to get her to spend some time around guns, and discussing - without ultimatums from either side - is a better path. Life is full of compromises, and a good marriage involves a lot of MUTUALLY acceptable compromises.

For example, the OP might consider seeing if his wife objects to him carrying a NAA 22 in a pocket holster. It is a gun I CCW with fairly often in my low-threat environment. Easy to conceal, Not at all threatening. But a 22 in the face at 3' isn't something to sneeze at!

Were I to need it, I'd prefer a 686 to the little 22. But I'm not willing to haul the 686 everywhere, while the NAA 22 can always slip in my pocket. Maybe if the OP's wife got used to the 22, she'd become more open to him carrying a J-frame, or an LCP, or some other option.

Some years back, I was told that if the front door is barred shut, look for the back door. If a co-worker, boss, wife, horse, dog, child, etc just CANNOT handle the thought of X, then maybe try 1/2 X, or 1/4 X, or explore to see what they CAN handle. Carrying a gun inside one's home is not so essential to most people's safety that they need to insist on doing so TODAY.