For those that thought I was unreasonable...The gun was pointed out the door of the bedroom at a 45 degree angle down when she walked into the door way which was at the EXACT moment I discovered she was not in bed. I did not "tap" her side of the bed as I didn't want to have her make noise as she has in the past when I have done so. I could have and maybe should have looked for her at the same time or instant reaching for the gun. She has been critical of me before for "checking" her first as those things turned out to be nothing. Her unreasonable requests were things like no round in the chamber etc.
She would not listen when I said the time line, for this event, would have allowed me to rack one in the chamber, but possibly give away our awareness etc. to the intruder. She said she didn't care about that. What you don't know is that her now ex-husband's 9mm ammo from working at the jail "somehow" ended up in her stove burners where they started going off when cooking one time while they were in divorce proceedings. She freaked on this event because of that event. We made a few changes in the procedures we will now use going forward. I'll do a body check on her first and she does not get to complain about being woke up because of it, no matter how it turns out. She did admit later that she over reacted. I said I could have body checked her first but didn't because of previous incidents with her. I started out being very calm they went off on her after repeated failures to be even remotely rational by her. I know it was a big deal. Lets resolve this like adults. She talked to my brother too and that helped. I did apologize multiple times during the discussions to no avail.
In retrospect I could/should have done it a little different.