This is that question where there is no "right answer" as people's needs and eyes are different.

Some people with a lot more intelligence than me determined that our average engagement distance in urban environments (militarily speaking) is about 19 meters. Taking that into account, I don't think that your SHTF 4 MOA dot will hinder your performance much. There are also lots of people who - with a little training - hit man-sized targets regularly at some pretty good distances with a 4 MOA dot.

Personally, my eyes are still good enough to pick up a 1MOA dot quickly and repeatedly. I also like the fact that I have a little finer bead should I need it. It is for those reasons why my home defense AR15 is equipped with an EOTech. Kind of hard to miss that big ring anyways.