I'm afraid the questions you ask about most comfortable Jframe grips is impossible to answer, because everybody is different which is why so many types of grips are sold for the same guns.

I have carried a Jframe for many years and currently carry a 340PD. Mine wears the Hogue Bantam, and I find it to be the most comfortable even on the rare occasion I shoot 357s. I ordered a beautiful set of Craig Spegel grips because everyone said they are the ultimate Jframe grips. They were extremely beautiful, and extremely uncomfortable for me to shoot with my 340PD. As far as a pocket carry grip I have never found anything as good as the Bantam grip, but that's just me. Ask around the forum to see if there is anyone near you that would mind meeting you at the range to shoot some grips before you tie up a fortune in testing.