I have a 2.5", 3" and 4" 686+, and all but the 4" are in my carry rotation. I live in a concealed only state, so an IWB is easier to conceal, but a 4" is a little too long for IWB comfort. Everything feels better in an OWB holster, however. I prefer a boot grip for a short revolver, but a "banana" or round-to-square grip gives you the full length grip you prefer.

Recoil is moderate in a 36+ oz revolver. I shoot nothing but full-load .357 Magnum in mine. I don't think I would like 25 oz recoil, much less an airweight 15 oz.

If you carry "mostly" concealed, that means high ride too. The shorter the barrel, the easier to clear leather in a situation. A 3" 686 has a full-length ejector, whereas 2.5" is short, and takes a good whack to eject all the shells the first time.

I get smaller groups with these revolvers than a mid-range 1911, typically about 3" at 10 yards, SA. I can keep then on a paper plate at that range DA. I think that's dangerous enough for self defense.