My brother, this excuse is lame. You can do this better than any industrial food company with a one-burner hot plate and a small 4 or 6-quart slow cooker.

Get 2 pounds of chuck roast, well trimmed, and cut it into 2-inch cubes. Salt and pepper them well. Brown the meat over medium high heat in a little olive or canola oil several pieces at a time. You just want to brown the surface of the meat on all sides, not cook it all the way through. This might take five minutes per batch. Do the whole two pounds and put the meat aside.

Get five or six carrots and cut them into rounds a half inch thick. Two or three yellow onions cut into 1/16ths. Six or seven celery stalks (green part only) cut into 1/2 - 1 inch pieces. Two medium Russet potatoes cut into half-inch cubes. Wash them well, but leave the skins on.

Take the meat and the vegetables and put them in the slow cooker. Cover the pieces with a 32 ounce container of Swanson's low sodium beef broth. You may need part of a second container depending on how many veggies you included.

Put the slow cooker on Low and let it go 6 to 8 hours. Get some chewy thick peasant style bread, a little butter if you like that, and a large bowl and spoon, and enjoy.

You'll never settle for the canned poison again. I promise.

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Five screws and 3-1/2 inches.