I have loaded everything from the old Smith and Wesson 84 grain JHPs
to the really shiny X-Treme 165 grain Plated round nose
If using a non-suppressed, 9MM Parrabellum firearm my preferences are for a JHP around 124-125 grains moving fast.
When using a suppressed, 9MM Parrabellum firearm, I prefer the heaviest projectile that can be loaded to just below the speed of sound. I used to load the 158s until X-Treme came out with those 165s