The Ruger is heavier and should recoil less. But it's heavier all the time, not just when you're shooting it.

The S&W (probably a 60) weighs a little less, recoil isn't bad, and is easier to carry.

Now... it's not unknown for someone to like the gun but find it's too heavy to carry all the time. If you get her the S&W, she can get a nearly identical Airweight for carry and use the 60 at the range. Ruger, there's no lighter version.

Also you have hammerless choices with the S&W, that Ruger doesn't do.