Re finger off trigger. We have been shooting long enough that picking up a pistol w/ just 3 fingers is natural. But I have a friend in exactly your situation. I taught him that me saying 'finger' means his is on the trigger. Also me saying 'muzzle' means his is pointed unsafely. Teach these to your wife. My thought would be have that pistol available as much as possible (kids etc in the house won't work) unloaded w/ no mag installed. Get some colorful wire tires or a roll of weed eater line. Grab a 6 inch piece of either. Pull the slide back and stick it in the barrel so an inch or two sticks out the end and an inch or two sticks out of the slide when you let it go forward. Now we have a gun that everyone can tell w/o touching it that it is incapable of firing. So now start picking that thing up. Carry it to the kitchen. Set it down and pick it back up when you go to the living room. You get the idea. If you could pick it up 500 times I bet you will have a new skill that is super, super important. Get your wife involved. Let her do the same thing. Make it a contest. She calls 'finger' on you and you pay her a dollar. Same thing in reverse. End of a week who has the most dollars? As you progress remember this is serious stuff. But make it fun too. Although we have been shooting for 20 years I found out 6 weeks ago that my wife likes shooting at the dueling tree at our range. Now there is never a range trip where we skip that tree.