Over the years, I've given a good bit of thought to softening recoil (or not) with rubber grips. I've had Pachmyars on several handguns - the only one I felt they benefited was a Sig Sauer P6 - possibly because of it's alloy frame.
My conclusion is strictly personal & may sound nutty - but I've been comparing hand GRIP aspects - to SHOES. I have proved (to myself at least) that hard SOLES without soft insoles - are easier to walk in & less fatiguing over distance. Unfortunately, Shoes matching this description are hard to find these days & more Expensive.
I recently picked up an older steel Taurus .357 magnum snub nose revolver. After trying it with a pair of nicely contoured rosewood grips - compared to Rubber Hogue type - I found I preferred the slick & pretty Rosewood Grips - my hand absorbed the recoil - it didn't hurt - & I think I had a more positive hold - which is important for controlling a short barrel handgun.
So for me its hard grips/stocks - of which, I'm most partial to Horn & Bone, but do have a few milsurps with plastic/bakelite, + a few in wood.