Since your inquiry is open ended, my guess is that you will derive the most benefit by cherry picking individual points from a number of posts. I have structured my response with that idea in mind.

The issue with grips, and what you want to accomplish, is never-ending because it is so individual.

Since this is a revolver based inquiry, I will confine my comments accordingly.

We all have varying hand sizes, strengths, and configurations, but grip frames, grip sizes and configurations, and length of pull distances are far less variable, so we seek compromises that will best meet our needs.

I have large hands, but relatively short fingers. I wear extra large gloves, but I have room left over in the finger lengths. If I try large gloves, the fit is too snug to allow freedom of movement. That is an example of an individual characteristic that must be met with the proper selection of grips.

Going back to my PPC and duty days, I only ever shoot a DA revolver DA. Given my short fingers I need to have my hand somewhat more oriented towards the finger side in order to get my trigger finger far enough in for proper (for me) control. This eliminates a covered back strap, because the length of pull would be too long. Many old competitive shooters, myself included, could sense the impending shot break point by our index finger tip just meeting the frame behind the trigger. Even with duty spec rounds, recoil did/does not bother me.

If your DA revolver shooting is predominantly SA, as many shooters here state theirs is, the above is not applicable to you.

Since the classes I taught were for future and new LEOs, and revolvers were the predominant sidearm in this era, and DA was the only way most departments fired, this was the hand-revolver relationship I taught. The issue then was which grips would facilitate that relationship. Any factory optional or aftermarket grip provided the all-important filler behind the trigger guard. From there on is where individual preferences come into play.

Between S&W target grips, various covered backstrap grips like Pachmayrs, and combat grips like the Hogue monogrip, I found that my students preferred the Hogue monogrip and the Rogers (later Safariland) grips. These two seemed to accommodate the broadest ranges of hand sizes, shapes and strengths for DA shooting.

A couple more training points I used:

1. At the outset I would have the students shake hands with each other, using a firm (not dead fish) handshake. Trying to strangle the grip frame would only induce tremors and fatigue. This handshake was the proper amount of grip firmness to apply

2. Let the revolver recoil. That is the natural reaction to the shot being fired. I told my students we hadn't yet had a fatality from recoil. Don't fear it and don't try to suppress it.

This of course led to an extensive discourse on flinching, and how fatal it is to marksmanship. I used the ball and dummy drill when I noticed, from the target, a student was flinching. Very effective teaching tool.

3. I had my students lock their wrists, but leave their elbows and shoulders flexible. The intent here was to transfer the recoil to the larger muscle masses in the arms and shoulders as they can more easily and comfortably absorb that recoil.

In the same frame size, different revolver configurations may necessitate different grips. For me, Hogue monogrips balance better with short barrels, and Rogers (sadly, no longer made) balance better with longer and/or heavy barrels. It is often a close call, but I was always trying to eke out an additional 'X' on the target.

What all this means is that you may go through a number of grips before you find what works best for you and your various revolvers.