I'm in a quandary here. We just recently started traveling and camping in some remote areas with an RV. There my be some short periods where she would be alone when I go hiking or make a run into town. I have been trying to get her interested in learning SD with a handgun but until a few days ago she resisted. She was talking to her brother and he told her to get a gun and get trained up. Somehow, because it's coming from him it's now on her radar. I guess it's because he's the last guy one would expect to be armed and I'm just another gun nut. Anyway I'm going to get her to the range when we get home and train her. This is all very funny for me because I've had at least a dozen handguns and her brother is an expert now after buying his first one.

So now the question. I generally carry a S&W 19 snub or a 36. I have 1911's and like autos but I don't carry one. I've always felt well armed with a revolver and shoot them the majority of the time. I reload for 38/357 and 45 acp. I'm not looking to get into another cartridge if I can avoid it but if she wants a 9 mm (which she thinks she does because her brother told her it was what she needed) I'll get her one.

The DA trigger on my 36 may be too heavy for her to shoot accurately. My guess is she would be better off with a single stack 9 mm. She has very little strength in her small hands so a light trigger is going to the biggest issue I'm sure.

I'm going to start with the 36 but I know she will have a difficult time with it. I want her to feel comfortable with the gun and be able to shoot it well. I've ruled out a 1911 already so the pistol will have to be something else.

Anyone have experience with buying a handgun for a woman and what did you end up with?

__________________
That's just somebody talkin.

If she has weak hands, she probably won't be able to rack the slide on an autoloader.
Most women that aren't gun savvy are much better off with a revolver such as a J frame chambered for .38 special shooting wadcutters.
No need to worry about her shooting double action, teach her to shoot single action. In a desperate situation, she will have the strength to pull that trigger double action for a close up shot.

Id start her with a 22 until she gains some confidence and go from there.Small handed shooters can be very intimidated by recoil.

Picked up a small 9mm for the wife.She didn't like it.Loved my mod.60 3" 357.Loaded her some 125gr.Wouldn't want her shooting at me.

Let her choose.

I also suggest she get instruction from someone else: she'll be more receptive and will be much more likely stay positive.

As with Ralph. I taught my daughter. She's shot everything I have, from a Beretta 25 to a 454 Super Redhawk. She currently owns (pistols) a Ruger Mark II, a Colt Police Positive Special, a Ruger Single Six, a Walther PPK, a 642 Lady Smith and a 3" 65-5. Her go-to gun? The 642, loaded with wadcutters.

__________________
I always take precautions

S&W "K" Frame 2-4" Round Butt. Start with 148 gain wadcutters with 2.5 grs bullseye.
Action job if needed.
Paint front sight with bright orange paint to assist concentrating on front sight.

Automatic = Ruger 22/45 Lite (light weight and easy to pull back the bolt.)

Standard answer: take her to a range where she can try a number of each kind and make her own decision about what she likes and feels comfortable shooting.

If it's not a gun about which she feels secure and capable she probably won't carry it.

__________________
Oh well, what the hell.

You and Shouldazagged hit it right on the head. Let her pick.

__________________
Quando omni flunkus moritati.

Done and done

__________________
Retired Career Security Guard

Amen, saved me some typing. Let her choose and you've already indicated she would rather listen to someone else on this as is often the case between spouses.

You gotta let her pick. When my wife and I got engaged I took her out and explained how every firearm I owned worked and she shot most of them. She "claimed" my Ithaca 1911A1 and that might as well have been her gun for the next 20 years. When she started carrying she went through a CZ82, a S&W 6906 and settled for now on a Ruger LCP357. The Ruger works well with 38 Specials for her CCW and she considers the 6906 to be her target gun.

I've got a handfull of friends who shoot and when our wives got interested we scheduled a monthly shooting play date where we wold each bring a couple three handguns, a bunch of ammo, and pass them around. After two years NONE of the women ended up liking the same type of firearm and I don't think any of them ended up with the same handgun the started with. But it's not like guys swap handguns around is it?

Dispite it being a common recommendation, I would not get her a small J frame style revolver or one of the many micro 380s or 9mm autos on the market.

They are hard to shoot accurately, have big recoil and the mini autos have stiff recoil springs and hard to rack slides.

The mid sized 9mm autos have manageable recoil and generally lighter recoil springs and easier to rack slides. She will enjoy shooting it more and therefore will want to shoot it more often.

As others have said, let her pick it and if there is instruction required choose someone other than yourself to provide it.

My wife picked a GLOCK 19 & 26...

Edmo

__________________
TRUTH: Don't delete my posts!

We took all my pistols to the range and she gave them all a good work out.
The next week we went back and hit the rental counter. She picked out 5 that felt good in her hand. She then fired them and picked out the one she was comfortable with.

Very little prompting from me and we're both happy.

Good luck.

__________________
Music/Sports/Beer fan

Recoil is nearly non issue.
A female in the military will be trained with the same weapons and ammo as any other person enlisting.
What is an issue is weapon fit to her smaller hands.
The model 66 is a good place to start.

__________________
it just needs more voltage

A female enlisting in the military has a very different mindset than the women I know

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

I believe in teaching ANY new shooter to learn the revolver first, then move to an auto-loader.

Then, they can decide for themselves.

__________________
Death? Smile back...

Yeah, most enter the gun world with defense in mind.
Unfortunately, this works against them when they gravitate to micro mouse guns that beat the tar out of them, while disappointing them with poor accuracy.
By getting them to consider a full sized weapon, that works with her smaller hands, she can establish a better baseline for the future guns she takes interest in.

__________________
it just needs more voltage

Not quite: Men are from Earth, women are from Pluto!

I can see by your answer that it's one of two things, 1)you are a very brave man or 2) your wife/lady/girl friend never reads your posts here............or maybe both.....

__________________
be safe,enjoylife,journey well

Most important things have been said.
To reiterate what I've learned from teaching quite a few girls and women to shoot:
First teach her how to shoot, only then work on figuring out how much gun she is comfortable with. I've used a Charter Arms .22 and a Walther P22 for that.
Forget all the big macho guns. Since you mention small hands, the final choice should be either a single stack 9mm (the Sig 239 has an unusually narrow grip circumference) or a J-frame. For outdoor scenarios like you're describing, a 3-inch Model 60 would be ideal, preferably in .357; since you say you reload, you can down-load mild practice rounds for her, but once she is comfortable she'll have the option of stuffing a 180gr. hardcast hunting load in if a black bear ambles toward camp. Any semi-auto is more limited in that respect, which is why I've nudged my students (mostly successfully) toward revolvers.

There is another forum I am a member on. This is something I posted on the subject.

Women are just like men when it comes to choosing a firearm. It's a personal decision based on many factors. I shoot regularly with 4 women. My 2 sisters, a friend of theirs, and my niece.

My niece just turned 21 and the rest are in their 40's.

Sister 1: Her SD gun is a 3" SP101 that she uses 38+ps as a defense load. She also likes shooting ARs but not shot guns.
Sister 2: Her SD gun is a XD(M)9C. She doesn't care for .357s. She also likes shooting ARs and loves 12 gauge shot guns.(She is the smallest one of the group)
Sister's friend: Her SD gun is a HK P30 in .40cal. light LEM. She doesn't really care for long guns except .22lr.
Niece: This girl loves to shoot anything. Is especially good with a GP100 6" with hot 357s. Like me she has the recoil junkie gene. No SD yet.

None of them really care for a j frame airweight . They all have shot an SR9c and various Glocks well.
All of them love to plink with various .22lrs rifles and handguns. All but my niece has shot a S&W 460. None of them cared for it but wasn't intimidated. These are just the highlights they've all shot many guns.

Women are just as varied as men. Tell her to use the same methods you would use for yourself and she'll find the right one for her.

I would suggest don't go in with any preconceived notions. Simply based on gender.

I will save you the trouble. My adult daughter and my wife both got the run of the place and tried EVERYTHING from J frames and K frames, 1911s, in calibers from 22 LR to .45 ACP. These occurred at different times, and the other was not present. They both picked the same thing. And what they picked surprised me.

This pre-dates the M&P by a decade or more, but they picked either a Glock 17 (daughter) or a Glock 19 (wife).

When I asked for feedback, the replies were the same: Comfortable grip, easy trigger, not much recoil, high capacity, easy to hit with, simple to operate.

Since then, I have had the same result repeated over and over again by others, and the pick is always either the Glock or the M&P these days. And always in 9mm.

Everyone says the J frame trigger is too heavy, and recoil too punishing, everyone is suspicious of Condition 1 on the 1911, etc.

Who would have thought it?

Let her decide. Choosing a pistol for SD is a very personal thing. If it doesn't fit your hand or the recoil impulse is objectionable, you aren't going to be shooting well. Let her shoot as many diff guns as possible & then let her choose.

__________________
NRA Cert. Inst. IDPA CSO

Well ..... we're all different and all situations (and relationships) have their own unique set of circumstances ..... but if it were me,

I would not "train" her.
I would not select a gun for her.

I would encourage her to get involved in the shooting sport and be aware of the need for self defense. If she's not truly interested, it ain't gonna happen .... period.

I've encouraged my adult daughters and wife to take courses from a qualified instructor I know. But, I want them to have info from someone other then me. I don't want to be an influence with their formal training experience.

IF and when they're ready to pick out a gun of their very own ..... they can try some of mine on for size and then go shopping.

YMMV.

If you have to ask, go with a revolver.

I am a woman. I carry a S&W 638 that's had an Apex spring kit installed. I practice with 125gr or 130gr 38spl. I carry the 'Low Recoil' jhp.

Well, a bunch got here before I did and gave the right advise re. training.

So, just let me add one thing to the mix; Browning Hi-Power. My wife tried close to 50 different guns before settling on the Hi-Power. It is often over looked because it's not the most popular gun. However, it is very easy to operate and maintain. The trigger is almost as good as a 1911.

Also, when at the range, don't forget to let her try your double action revolvers in single action. Could make the difference between being a shooter and not.

__________________
Freedom isn't free.

My Wife has a Taurus 85 .38 SPL. One of the older ones from the early '90s with the all steel frame. She absolutely loves it. But she also really likes the Versa Thunder 380 and my SD40-VE.

L8R,
Matt

__________________
SD40-VE owner and proud of it!

1. Did not read all the posts.....................

2. Skip any "blow back " .380s stick with lock breach autos........

3.K vs J frame...... we are not talking concealed carry...........and the leaf vs. coiled spring ....... favors the K-frame

4. My recommendation....... 3-4 inch K frame .357 (long range planning)round butt......... loaded w/ +P .38s

but to get the ball rolling ...................


You reload......... start with light wadcutters and go from there..............

My wife has both a .357 Rossi 971 2.5 in barrel with recoil compensator and a Walther pk380.The Walther has a real easy slide for weak hands.

She's got to be able to pull a revolver's double action trigger. I've taken a few women shooting who couldn't do this.

I bought both my adult daughters J frames neither of whom are gun nuts. I took the retired chief of police's advice on that and it was sound. They can operate the triggers.

A revolver is easier to check and make safe. Both are working and range time is precious.

I carry a J frame usually and never feel under gunned.

But their needs may not be the same as the needs of other women.

Their Dad (me) is comfortable knowing they can defend themselves.

Yiogo

Hello, a lot of great advice put on the table. My wife recently got her CCW, and has shot a lot of different guns. I have a lot to chose from. I figure out that my suggestions didn't mean much. She tried a NAA 22 mag, mod 60, colt 1908 25 cal, beretta 22 pop up barrel, glock 19, mp 9c, judge, and she chose a MP 22 compact, go figure. I had to find the gun she wanted to carry not the one I wanted her to carry.
Good luck with your quest!

__________________
NRA Life Member
CPO

As men, we always think we know what gun is best for someone: and that goes double for our wives and girlfriends! I say just have them try out a bunch of guns at the range and let them figure it out. Sometimes a gun just "clicks" for you even it might not look like it would be your favorite on paper. The only person who can decide what gun is right for them, is the person who will be carrying it everyday.

I shot that Walther for the first time this past weekend. That is one soft shooting pistol. My Wife is looking at the Bersa Thunder 380, but I may have to have her check the PK380 out too...

L8R,
Matt

__________________
SD40-VE owner and proud of it!

My wife had a fear of guns when we first were married. I sent her to an NRA class for women with a couple ladies that worked for me at the time. They got to shoot a variety of guns in the class as well as classroom instruction. My wife decided she liked revolvers because she could easily see if they were loaded and she shot K frames well. She liked my model 19 with four inch barrel best.
She won't get her carry permit but we do keep a Model 66 and 15 snubs in the house for home defense.
I strongly encourage the NRA class and letting her pick out her own gun. Good luck to you both.

Aloha,

My Wife and my friend's wife both like Full size Berettas. Their answer to the large grip, "I'll adapt to it because I like the gun(s)". Both are competent with their Berettas.

When the woman finds something she likes, she'll learn to use it.

It's our duty as Husbands to keep them supplied with all the ammo they want.

I can count on my Wife to cover my back when push come to shove.

EXCELLENT ADVICE. I WOULD POINT HER IN THE DIRECTION OF A 3" 686+. STICK SOME PACHMAYR COMPACS ON IT. GOOD GRIP FOR SMALL HANDS, AND DAMPEN RECOIL WELL. STUFF IT WITH SOME STANDARD PRESSURE .38SPL HOLLOWPOINTS. MAYBE SOME FEDERAL NYCLADS, WHICH ARE MILD. SHE WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT RACKING SLIDES, SAFETIES, OR CLEARING JAMS. JUST PULL THE TRIGGER 'TILL THE THREAT IS GONE, OR THE GUN IS EMPTY. ITS HARD NOT TO LIKE THAT REVOLVER. BELOW IS MY 2 1/2" 686+ WEARING COMPACS…….…..

Attached Images

DSC01127.jpg (157.9 KB, 17 views)

__________________
'Nam 1968-69.DAV,VFW,NRA Inst.

I'm a bit surprised no one has mentioned it yet, but if possible, you should ask you wife to try out a handgun equipped with laser sights. Depending on light conditions, you can easily see the laser dot at 5-7 yds., and sight alignment becomes one less thing to worry about. Note, this is just for her initial introduction and selection of a handgun. Once she has made her selection, she should learn how to align and use the sights on the piece. All of my J-frames are equipped with Crimson Trace laser grips, and give my wife confidence when I'm not at the house to repel boarders. By the way, the wife's favorite handgun is a Model 642-1 equipped with Crimson Trace LG-405 grips.

Best of luck,

Dave

From experience!
She needs to make the choice. Go to the range a time or two, let her shoot what guns you have, rent some others for her to try...she will discover exactly what she wants and is comfortable with...buy that one.

Buying the gun you want her to shoot is NOT the answer, believe me.
Gary

For me it went like this:

I get a phone call while she is on a business trip. An incident on the road where she realizes it might have been smart to be armed. Here's my chance! I leap on that, and sign us both up for an NRA concealed carry course. I even have the smarts to suggest inviting another woman friend of hers whose husband and I make some noise together on occasion. My wife passes the test with a 98 and qualifies in the shooting portion using my Steyr L9-A1 9mm automatic. But just as at home when we practiced before class, she has trouble racking the slide. She has her certificate, I got all the documents together for the application and sent it in. And at this point I am going to step back and only encourage her to make her own decisions. Whatever she winds up with for a weapon, I want her to have picked it and feel like she chose it herself so she will actually bring it with her when she is out.

__________________
~ From the Land of Lobstah ~

My 70 year old mother recently took an NRA basic handgun course and got here her concealed carry permit. They had her shoot various guns(both revolvers and semi-automatics). They recommended a Glock 26, but when I handed her mine, she had pretty much forgot what she had learned and really had to think about what to do with it or how to identify if it was loaded and ready to fire or not. She does understand revolvers, so I recommended she stick with them. She decided on a no-lock 442. I think it's a great choice especially being DAO since there is no way to accidentally cock it. It's simple, safe and light to carry in her purse all day and not weigh her down.

I once handed my wife a model 60 during an attempted break-in and during her panic, she couldn't remember if she had to cock it or not despite having shot it numerous times. I traded it in for a model 640 the next day. Having single action is a liability all around in a self-defense gun.

Most people are not "gun people". They won't train, they don't like to do maintenance on their firearms, they want to have a gun around "just in case" and a DAO snub is a perfect fit. They are harder to shoot accurately at the range, but like I said, non gun people don't practice much or at all and self-defense shots will be extremely close, so a precision target gun is simply not needed.

The Real Ladies Gun -- Handguns

As has been said by other posters. Let her find what she is comfortable with.Many years ago before I knew her my wife had serious threats from a mentally unbalanced relative.Mutual friend who had a gun store. Sold her a Taurus j frame clone.It worked for her until I introducex her to glocks.She then carried a glock and used one in competition for years.About 2years ago I showed her a ladysmith 3913 at lgs she now carrys it and loves it.Moral of story is let mama find what makes her happy and you will be happy to.

Alone in a remote area: I'd get her an AR or a shotgun. More accurate, more powerful, more intimidating.

if,it were me,I would probably go with s Glock G26. they're small,and easy to manipulate with small,hands.,They're fun to shoot as well.I sold mine years ago and sometimes regret it'.A trip to the range with the Kahr PM9 used to fix that regret but I haven't been to the range now in almost two year.I've Ben thinking about going with only one hand and may try,it some day soon. good luck

The choice of gun should depend on how much interest she has and how much she is willing to practice. I never recommend a Glock for someone with little or no experience. My avoidance of the Glock pistols would be stronger if the pistol would end up at the bottom of a purse.

My wife had a Model 36 when I met her. After I suggested it, she switched to a four inch Model 10 with a pencil barrel. After she received training, she switched to a Ruger LC9 because that pistol felt the best to her after trying several.

FWIW, I was a Rangemaster and Firearms Instructor with my department for over twenty years. When the time came for her to receive training she attended one of the ladies classes at Gunsite during a week that I took a different class.

Regards.

Bob

__________________
R. M. Bob Horton
#2170

In addition to a handgun, or instead, I suggest a shotgun for her specific circumstances. Find a clever way to stow it, probably virtically, inside the camper's door, where it is both secure and easy to remove.

__________________
M&P9c

Bob's got it right!

I'm sure it's been said multiple times but it has to be something she is comfortable with. If it isn't she won't use it. The same goes for the shotgun suggestion. If a 12 gauge is too much for her, get her a 16 or a 20. It won't do her much good if the thing nearly knocks her on her butt every time she shoots it.