This is a topic that comes up frequently and I thought maybe I could address it from a different perspective and instead of asking if I should tell people talk about why I don’t.

In the past 6 months or so there have been two threads started by people that decided to start conversations about guns with people they didn’t know and neither conversation ended well.

In one the OP starts a conversation with a salesman in his office who clearly doesn’t know a whole lot about guns and at some point in the conversation the salesman asks him “Are you carrying a gun now?” (Because gee no one saw that coming) and when the OP doesn’t say “No” fast enough the salesman correctly concludes that the OP is carrying a gun.

In the second the OP starts talking guns with some half drunk person he met in a bar and tells this random stranger that he is armed( yeah, because that couldn’t go wrong). The random stranger then proceeds to start a fight and ask the OP if he can borrow his gun to settle the score (Again, did not see that coming).

People I don’t know well don’t need to know the details of my life; there just isn’t any reason for it. My experience has been that the less most people know about me the better off I am. As for friends I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve had some really bad experiences that were directly related to telling a “friend” who really wasn’t a gun guy that I had a permit. He then proceeded to share my business with a bunch of people I don’t know.

If I can keep that kind of hassle out of my life by simply keeping my mouth shut I’m all for it.

There are very few people I’ll talk guns with in the real world, most of the time if I want to talk guns I come here. I don’t give strangers any reason to assume I might be armed. I don’t start conversations about guns at work and if people around me do I don’t participate.

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Retired Career Security Guard

Concealed means concealed.

My standard response is that I don't carry a gun but I fully support your right to do so.

Found this on the Western Rifle Shooter's Association site...there's a certain logic to it.


The Grey Man is always invisible in plain sight.

The Grey Man is totally aware of his environs, his own capabilities or lack thereof, his weaponry and his levels of competence with that weaponry. He constantly strives to improve upon both his capabilities and competence. In public, he is always respectful, even to the point of obsequiousness if the situation calls for it. He always appears to be just a little confused by what is happening around him, while in reality he is alertly doing a tactical assessment.

The Grey Man NEVER draws attention to himself by word, dress, action, or mannerism. The Young Grey Man is dismissed as a wimp, the Older as a doddering old fool. The Grey Man derives great inner satisfaction from having this portrayal of himself accepted by all he meets, for it means he is succeeding in his disguise of his actual persona.

The Grey Man is a private man. He practices with his weaponry in private, or only with his fellow Grey Men, always in a secluded location. If he must resort to use of a public facility, he schedules his practice for times when he is likely to be the only one there. At such times he would probably wear bright clothing, to be remembered only as ‘that guy in the red jacket and sunglasses’, a quite different person from his usual persona. If right-handed, he would always occupy the leftmost station on a NRA bullseye pistol range, with his back to an observer, or the rightmost one for riflery or combat pistol practice. He would not have his name emblazoned on clothing or equipment, nor would he have any noteworthy affiliation proclaimed on his cap. “He’s just a guy. Comes every Wednesday morning for his coffeebreak. Always pays cash.”

The Grey Man does not drive a pink Cadillac with steer horns on the hood, NOR does he drive the biggest mutherin’ 4X4-with-all-the-bells-and-whistles BOV in the lot. The older his vehicle is, the rustier, the less likely it is to draw attention (or to be stolen, for that matter). This vehicle is, under its exterior, scrupulously maintained and in excellent running order. If pulled over by authority on the basis of appearance, it can be shown to meet or exceed all requirements under licensing laws, and an obsequious co-operative manner precludes a search under the seats. The Grey Man does not speed on the highway: cruise control is his friend. So is the Highway Patrol: he waves to any he sees. If he travels the same route constantly, at the same times, The Grey Man becomes a ‘fixture’ and can be dismissed from conscious observation.

It helps the Survivor to build up this persona of The Grey Man gradually and over time. The anti-gun sheeple neighbors will quickly rat out the ‘Patriot’ who is always loudly declaiming about his ‘Rights’ and ‘what will happen if they try to take my guns’. The Grey Man goes far out of his way never to offend anyone, imitating the duck which appears calm on the surface of his pond whilst paddling like hell under the surface.

Be seen as conservative in all you do. A Survivor is a Grey Man, and that little old grey man alone over there in the corner is probably a Survivor!

And that young guy next to him? Just another wimp? Or are they both watching each other’s backs?

Making the other guy waste precious time in assessing the situation is a big part of staying alive. Practice being grey now, while there's time to build your skills.

Western Rifle Shooters Association: Next Steps: The Grey Man

Yep. When I was working as a training officer, I had to be the expert. Now that I'm retired, I don't know nothin' about it, don't know why I would.

The less people know about me ... the better.

Snipped

The only thing I disagree with here is the idea of being the only one at the range.

I make a point of not going to the range alone people have been murdered and their guns stolen doing that.

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Retired Career Security Guard

The people I work with, I would say at least 70%, which is probably conservative, all have CCW's, including myself. With the exception of work (federal installation) where we can't legally carry, we are always armed. That said, several of us spend time at the range, etc. We are very tight knit. If you don't know me though, you won't know I'm carrying. As stated, concealed is concealed.

I learned long ago to keep my business private. No one needs to know that I'm carrying unless my life, or the life of a loved one, is in danger.

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Old Cop
LEO (Ret.)

Never let anyone know what you're thinking

My father, rest his soul, would always tell me , "Son, you are far less interesting than you think you are" , which taught me to be cautious about what I say and to whom.

He also admonished me to...." Keep a brilliant idea to yourself, in the event it isn't."

Anyone who I would share that info with already knows, everyone else it's none of their business. Most of the ones who do know have their CC permits.

+1
Several posts in this thread that I agree with.

I was behind a car in traffic with a Don't Tred on Me license plate (brilliant yellow) and the letters spelled something to the effect that the driver was "ticked off." A "Glock Perfection" sticker on the back window completed the picture of the Bright Orange Man out for a drive.

I am retired military and still work on a major federal installation as well so don't carry at work. The guys I work with took me to the range and I was hooked and went from 0 handguns to 4 in two years and my wife and I hit the range weekly. My civilian friends have no idea I carry, and I know some would be shocked from their offhanded comments about guns, so I don't bring it up. When I see an open carry person and the reaction if gets from a majority of the citizens they come in contact with, I'm convinced that CC is the way to go even if the law allows people to open carry. If others want to let people know they carry by open carry, or by talking about it, it's their right. I just agree with the folks that don't.

Bottom line is that it's nobody else's business...

"Never tell anybody outside the Family what you're thinking again."

Vito Corleone - December, 1945

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

Guns??? Carrying a gun??? I'm just here for the Lounge!

Several people at work know I hunt and I assume that they know I own firearms, but don't mention that I carry even though most own guns and quite a few carry. Just feel better not talking about it.

As has been stated many times, my attitude is that when someone is CCW, they should be acting like they aren't, and that includes discussing it. Especially with people not in your immediate circle.

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Geoff. Since 1960.

I think the problem has to do with how a lot of gun owners perceive guns. I can't explain it but I notice how guns are treated as some sort of a awe inspiring thing. People have to show them off, play with them, polish them never sell them or regret selling, ooh and aaah over them. This I don't get. To me its just a thing. I can buy 34 guns and unless my friends specifically ask I never show or mention the purchases. To me it would be like saying he guys come check out the new socks I bought. Or hey look at this new box of detergent. They are all just things I buy for use

All of our relatives, friends, and neighbors know my wife and I both carry.

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U.S. Navy - U.S. Army, ret

+1
I have 2 gun buddies that share an interest in S&W revolvers. We talk about new finds, etc. on a casual basis.
Most of my other gun buddies aren't anymore interested in a newly acquired S&W treasure than if it were a High Point, Jennings, Daisy, etc.
It is good to have someone to talk to with similar interests. One of the reasons I enjoy this forum.

I have a sign (that only I can see) taped to my desk that says "Never fail to take advantage of a good opportunity to SHUT UP"

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Retired Career Security Guard

This is a topic that I give a lot of thought to and the reason I do is because I’ve made the mistake. When I first started carrying a gun I joined the NRA and I got the hat and wore it everywhere I went. I found out that it drew unwanted attention as did the NRA stickers on my car.

I also made the mistake of telling people that were friends of mine. One guy dropped me and another proceeded to spread the word to everyone he knew and continued to do so after I asked him not to.

So it’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way but there’s more to it (IMO) than just not telling people that I have a CHP. I’ve said it before but when it comes to co-workers or acquaintances (not close friends) my personal life stays personal.

My experience has been if you go out of your way to attract attention to yourself you’ll usually succeed. I don’t discuss politics, I don’t discuss religion and I avoid any other controversial topic as much as possible. I don't wear clothing with logos of any kind (except a couple of hats that say Alaska or Estes Park)

Rumor has it that one of our guards was removed from a site because a client employee was offended that he could hear the guy listening to Rush Limbaugh on the radio. Obviously I have no way to substantiate that but the lesson is taken to heart.

Occasionally I run into people that don’t just advertise they announce. I trained a guy a couple of years back; part of the training includes company/client firearms policy. In the middle of that segment of training he flat announced that he had a permit and asked if I did as well. I looked him dead in the eye, said “Nope” and continued with the training. My concealed carry status is on a need to know basis and if you aren't immediate family (and not always then) you don’t

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Retired Career Security Guard

To develop this line of thinking a bit further, I also sometimes feel like gun owner overdramatize the way "non-gun people" view guns. I've had a license and carried when appropriate since Oregon went "shall-issue" back in 1989, that's 25 years now, so yes, all my long-term friends, no matter where they are politically, know by now that I have a CCW and carry; when we head on outings into the woods, it's pretty much assumed that I carry a gun on me somewhere, and since they all know me really well, it's not a big deal at all. Of course, this is Oregon, where the old equation "liberal = anti-gun" has never really worked anyway. Of course I would never tell a stranger that I was carrying or even had a permit, certainly not in a bar like mentioned in an earlier post. But to me it's not warranted to treat it like a deep dark secret either.

If you can't keep a secret, don't expect anyone else to. I don't care if it's a "friend"/spouse/other CC'r, unless it REALLY needs to be brought up, then don't. I've had complete strangers at LGS's tell me how they have 100's of guns and 10's of thousands of rounds of ammo at home. I usually tell them, "that will be me following you after you leave to see where you live".

Some folks carry guns as a tool, others wear them as an accessory.

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Eccentric old coot

Except for collectors items, a gun is a tool. I don't announce the purchase of a new hammer, skillsaw, pocket knife, stand mixer,coffee pot, or belt. Why in the world would I announce the purchase of a gun?

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Bob | KM4DEO
Sport | Glock 22

And everybody else your friends, relatives and neighbors tell - And who those people tell... concealed includes no discussion of the fact.

I never knew that carrying a gun included a membership in a double-secret society before gun forums on the internet. My wife and I also often open carry. People new to guns act like they are doing something wrong by exercising their Second Amendment rights. I really don't care who knows I am carrying a gun.

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U.S. Navy - U.S. Army, ret

This is pretty much where I'm at. I don't open carry, but I could if I wanted to, and I don't see anything untoward about. Anybody that knows me is aware of my affinity for firearms, and my family and many others are aware that I likely have a gun within reach most if not all of the time. I don't have an acquaintance that would start a drunken brawl and ask me for a gun to settle it, and if for some goofy reason that situation would happen to occur, the person in question wouldn't be able to return to his first fight due to his new injuries. I also don't care who my friends and family notify about my affinity for firearms. If I get asked directly about whether or not I'm carrying, my response is always the same: "Do you think I have a gun?" I let them draw their own conclusions. If they press, they get "Nunya," or "This is an A B conversation. C your way out of it." None of these responses would be a surprise to anyone that knows me, and if I get told to "be nice," my standard response is "That was nice. For me." I'm in a position in my life where I don't care at all if you think I have a gun, and quite frankly, if you do think so, that makes me safer.

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

Although I don't announce it like the town crier, most at my LGS know it, and it may come up if you are there. My response should you say that to me: "Why?"

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

On the one hand , the Grey Man theory maximizes your personal security.

On the other hand if Gun Rights minded people hadn't stepped up to lobby and participate in public events , there would only be widepsread concealed carry in 2 or 3 states still. The modern CCW era didn't magically come from the tooth fairy.

But these things are best done in the offices and hallways of your state capitol , and thru your state level 2A rights organization , rather than randomly to your business aquaintences.

I'm a gun enthusiast. I'm also an avid amateur wood worker. I'm also a musician. Those are just a few of the things I'm interested in. Therefore, I talk about these things all the time. I do it at work, at the range, at church and around the neighborhood. I tend to hand with like minded people and we all discuss our hobbies with each other.

I see no problem with talking about guns.

I'm also a CCW instructor. I have the name of my school plastered on the side of my truck. It's one way to advertise my business. I've obtained a few clients because of it. So, yeah, I talk about CCW all the time.

What I don't talk about is what or if I'm carrying. Why would I? There are so many other things to talk about.

I learned a long time ago, the best way to keep a secret is...








...wait for it...











...almost there...


















DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!!

There, now is that so hard?

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Freedom isn't free.

I find it interesting that we have another thread in this section where people are proclaiming to the world at large exactly what they're carrying. 8 pages of it in fact.

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Freedom isn't free.

It is nobody's business. At the range or anywhere. Even those who know I carry don't see a thing. Conversations about firearms in general are only with like minded individuals.

Seriously? "DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!! . . . ?" Your post is indefensible. "No, Officer, nobody should have known that I had a concealed firearm. I don't understand why you would ask . . . ?" You don't have to worry about not telling anybody. You tell everybody who sees you in your truck. People assume it if they see you in your labeled truck, and they won't believe you if you say no, so you better be carrying every time you step out of that truck.

Bank Teller: Of course there's no money here. What makes you think so?

Donut Shop: Donuts? No way, how did you know?

Convenience Store: Beer, gas and Skittles? Not talking. Maybe. Look around.

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

My wife doesn't even know that I carry. I always make a visit to the basement to "check on things" before I leave the house.
She knows I CAN, but that's it.

I've never mentioned it to a soul and never been asked. Why would I?

Only key people know I carry and it is never talked about out in public. The point of concealed carry is so no one knows you have it.

Now talking about general shooting, rifles, range time is fine. If the setting is right for it. It's not something I would bring up at Denny's but at the VFW or the local sportsman's club would be fine. Even then, that I'm carrying wouldn't be brought up.

Guns scare me.

Old saying: "Speak softly and carry a big stick."

I say: "If you're carrying a gun don't speak at all."

Bob

I live in a small town. Rode several years here as the HNIC of the local MC. Ran for state representative few years back. Everybody who knows me, knows I carry. Those who don't know me don't really wanna find out.

The first Rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. The second Rule of Fight Club is...

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NICK-SWCA-NRA BENEFACTOR LIFE

The Grey man kind of sounds like Jason Bourne. Here are a few more traits of the Grey man.
The Grey man walks into the ******* and counts the stalls. He notices the position of everyone's feet and stays away from anyone with a wide stance.
When in a public the Grey man observes and evaluates every movement of every person calculating the trajectory of any shot fired from an angle of not more than 2 degrees from the hand position of anyone reaching inside a pocket or purse. The Grey man does this while appearing to not be paying attention to anyone in the room. This makes eating at restaurants very time consuming for the Grey man.
The Grey man journeys alone deep into the woods on winter nights wearing only summer shorts and sandals to practice firing when his body temperature has reached the point of hypothermia. Only timber wolves have seen the Grey man practice.

Please share you Grey man stories.

The Grey Man makes Chuck Norris tremble when he walks by . . .

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

Last job I had i carpooled with a friend I thought I could trust with my CC status. I worked in a small fishing town as their fisheries manager and had been receiving death threats pretty regularly at work so started carrying regularly.
Turns out while hunting with someone in that town he mentioned the fact that I carry.
Two weeks later my boss calls me into his office and makes me lift my shirt and pirouette for him because "the rumor around town was that I was packing heat and looking for someone to use it on."
Luckily my heat was packed in my truck at the time.
NEVER tell anyone who doesn't need to know.

[QUOTE] My wife and I also often open carry. People new to guns act like they are doing something wrong by excercising their Second Amendment rights. [/'QUOTE]

The problem is that our own society has been so indoctrinated for the last 60-150 years (depending on the region) that the SA is a vague concept to them. I am not a fan of open carry for safety reasons (gun grabs, etc), but believe there are parts of the country where it is still an acceptable practice. For all other areas, the surprise a violent criminal experiences is priceless when a potentional victim suddenly produces a pistol...

Reading through this entire thread its obvious that there really is not much disagreement here. But we all know that there are people who think having a concealed carry license makes them a sort of unofficial LEO and they just can't wait to tell that to the whole world. The very fact that there are concealed carry badges for sale on the internet (why would any sane person even want one of these?) shows that there are some real fools out there. Or the guy who goes to the mall dressed in his best camo outfit so that his status as a mall Ninja is clear to anyone who sees him. I try to avoid such people as best I can. Not two weeks ago, standing at the gun counter at a sporting goods store, waiting to ask the clerk for some ammunition, another customer looks over at me and says "if you're looking for a good gun to carry, buy one of these" and lifts his shirt to show some unidentified semi-auto in an IWB holster. I just ignored him, bought my ammo and left the store. My guess is that this guy never misses a chance to show off his gun and brag about carrying a concealed firearm.

Don't be Rude.

Common Courtesy Southern Style

One should NEVER ask...

A Woman
1. How much she weighs
2. How old she is

A Man
1. How much money he makes
2. If he's carrying a gun

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NULLI SECUNDUS