This guy gets referred to a Urologist. The new doc turns out to be a really hot female (think Liz Hurley).

They're in her office:

Doc: You've got to quit masturbating.
Guy: So, why is that?
Doc: Because I'm trying to examine you.

Are you trying to jerk us around?

Guess he shouldn't have given up smoking so soon

MOONDAWG

I told my doctor that my penis turned orange since losing my job.

What have you been doing since becoming unemployed?

Sitting around watching porn movies and eating Cheetos.

Guy at the bar crying in his beer. Bartender asks what the problem is. Guy responds "My mother in law, I've got a real problem with her."
"Cheer up" the bartender says, "Everyone has problems with his mother in law"
"Yeah" the man replied, "but I got mine pregnant."

Shug - You are a sick, sick feller... I bet it was you!

Pete

Magician on stage. Gets ready for the finale.

Picks up a sledgehammer and smashes himself in the head.

Goes into a coma for ten years.

Wakes up and yells "Tahdah!"

I was watchin' the Olympics last night and during the women's weightlifting competition I overheard:

Announcer #1: And here comes the Chinese champion, *something something something or other*.

Announcer #2: She's widely known for having the world's greatest snatch.

quote:

Originally posted by Klatuu:
I was watchin' the Olympics last night and during the women's weightlifting competition I overheard:

Announcer #1: And here comes the Chinese champion, *something something something or other*.

Announcer #2: She's widely known for having the world's greatest snatch.

Know what you mean, was looking at the TV guide and they had listed the olympic woman's snatch competion so I tuned in.....NOT what I expected

Know what you mean, Caj. This movie was a big disappointment. (Just kidding, it's a wonderful movie) - Jim

My buddy told me his girlfriend moved out yesterday. He came home to find her packing her stuff. "Why," he asked.

She said, "I think you're a pedophile".

He replied, "That's a pretty big word for a sisth-grader."

The man killed his first deer and brought it home for the family. He cooked it up and had it on the plates. His youngest boy (6) says, "What is this Dad, it looks great." The Dad responds, "I'll give you a hint Son, it's something your Mother calls me." The daughter (8) screams, "Don't eat it Timmy, it's an asshole."

Guy walks into a psych's office wearing Seran-wrap underwear. Shrink looks up and says:
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts".

Lady goes to the hospital for a vaginoplasty, a real operation to make the female sex organs look "young" again.

She gets back to her room and finds three roses on her pillow. "Who are these from?" she asks the nurse.

Nurse says "The first one is from your doctor. He's new here and appreciates your choosing him."

"The second one is from your husband, who can't wait to see the 'new' you"

"The third one is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit to say thank you for his new ears."