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Old 12-01-2009, 12:21 PM
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Biggs357's post about his child with the permanent marker reminded me of things my kids did when they were little.

I had been making a dress and had the pattern laid out on the living room floor and was busy pinning it to the material in preparation to cut. I looked for the scissors I had laid on the floor nearby. I then noticed my daughter in the chair with her hand behind her head... cutting off all her hair with my scissors.

What's your favorite miniature mischief maker story?
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Old 12-01-2009, 01:22 PM
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My daughter cut her hair several times. Always in the front, always at the scalp, and always just as it started to look normal again.

A friend's daughter, who looks as innocent as an angel, flushed a brand new pair of glasses down the toilet. When asked about it, she said, "I frushed and frushed and frushed, and they finally gone."
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Old 12-01-2009, 01:47 PM
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I thought Barb was going to rat herself out on this one.

"I" can't remember doing anything wrong. However, my mother can.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:04 PM
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I've always been close to perfect.
Can't remember any mischief I created......

....well, except maybe the time I set the leaves and pine straw back yard on fire at about age 8 or 9 or 10.....

.....and, there was that time the folks went out to eat, and I drove Dad's stripped down Crosley chassis hot rod to the school parking lot across the street to cut donuts, and rolled it. My buddy up the street saw me, whizzed down on his bike, helped me flip it back over, and I drove it home. Dad noticed the bent steering column, however. I was 12.......

we're not going into teen years are we?????
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
we're not going into teen years are we?????
Only if you were little and cute and an impish grin could fix everything.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:26 PM
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I can give all kinds of stories about me dishing trouble out to others.

one of my most infamous acts involved my sister's barbie camper and 3 very ugly barbies,some gas,some fireworks and a very sore butt afterwards.I hated my sisters barbies and her because she used to throw them at me and then break my assorted toys.I decided i had enough so one fine day i filled her barbie camper about half way up with gas and lit that sucker on fire(she wasn't home yet .After watching the mini blaze and a melted camper i strapped some black cat fire crakers to the barbies and lit them up(G.I JOE style).Man did i get beat for that stunt,not to mention having to give up alot of my toys.Had i not used fireworks i might well have gotten away with it.

Ahhhh those were the days.
P.S we'll talk about breaking the chain on her bike and trying to fix it later. she was left with chipped teeth and a broken nose.Not good at all.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:39 PM
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My daughter was one of the worst rebels and the most stubborn kid you ever met. Once we were eating out when she was three or four. Her mother ordered her to eat something she didnt want to. She held the food in her cheeks like a chipmunk and wouldnt swallow it. Her mother was as stubborn as she was, and wouldnt let her spit it out. They locked horns on the deal and it went like that for about four hours, untill I broke things up when she went to bed and let her spit it out so she wouldnt strangle. She pulled plenty that I wont rat about. Her mom and I went through a bad divorice when she was about seven. Her mom couldnt keep her in school. She quit in the 6th or 7th grade, went on some deal one afternoon a week to hand in her school work, and got her high school diploma. She has worked since about 12 years old for her mother as a dispatcher. Was a single mom for awhile, could have but refused to collect a dime of welfare. Now in later years, she is married with two young daughters to a great man, and has taken a lot of extra schooling, and STILL works two and three jobs. I am VERY proud of her!
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:03 PM
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When a toddler, Dad was showing off his New Boat to Mom and her Dad and his wife. Dad stuck me in the boat so I couldn't get into trouble. I, too, discovered a magic marker and drew a line all the way around the new boat.
I was snatched out of the new boat and given to my step-grandmother to be taken inside. I didn't want to go so I said my first curse word, too. "GD, let me go Sandy."

I learned what Dawn dish soap tasted like.
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:08 PM
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Merril, your daughter is beautiful! You both have the same mischievous grin.
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:20 PM
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I used the bathroom in the tub one time. I was scared I'd get in trouble if I got the floor wet and got out, I guess. Hell, I may have just decided to try it and see what happened for all I know. Anyway, I found out EXACTLY what would happen when Mom came in there to see what was taking me so long to take a bath.
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:28 PM
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I too, like so many little kids, hated going to the barber. I also gave myself a haircut once. That's when I learned that you had to go to the barber to fix what you messed up. I also learned that I hated crew cuts. Once, when I was around 4 my parents and grandparents were watching me through the living room window while I played in the back yard. They noticed that I had found a hammer and was carrying it around. My grandfather says "I wonder what he's going to do with that hammer?" He no sooner gets it out of his mouth, when I walk over to the window and put the hammer through it.
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:47 PM
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I thought I was a clock repairman and tried to fix my grandfathers retirement clock. It is a Atmos mantle clock. They have a metal bellows that is compressed within the back of the clock. Changes in atmospheric pressure make the bellows compress/expand which wind the mainspring and make the clock work. It had some kind of problem and wasn't working so I took it in my room,locked the door and proceeded to take the back off. Bad move. As soon as I felt the bellows expand I knew that I had gone way beyond my 11 year old capabilities. I tried for a few hours to force it back together. Little did I know it took a special procedure by a trained clockmaker to compress and reassemble.

Finally repaired about 20 years later it has resided on my mantle for many years. I don't let my kids near it.
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Old 12-01-2009, 03:50 PM
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Thank god my parents weren't child beaters!

If abortions were retro-active, I'd have been the poster child!
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Old 12-01-2009, 04:16 PM
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My brother told the school bus driver that we were moving to Oregon and not to stop anymore. He was in the first grade and the bus driver believed him. He got out of two days of school before my mom called the office to find out why the driver kept going by our house without stopping. He always was the smartest one in the family.
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Old 12-01-2009, 04:33 PM
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i was about 8,my brother 9...we decided to start a fire in our dirt floor garage...we didn't want to be seen sooooo...we lit it directly in front of my mom's chevy...it was newspaper and flared up nicely!a neighbor spotted us and of course told...my mother whipped the **** out of us and told us to clean up the garage!!well...as instructed we did along with the threat of "we will just run away"!she said FINE!(bad move)...we ran away along with the dog...it was way hot and humid, a couple of hours later our dad found us **gulp** was going to wear our bottoms out but we gained a reprieve as we explained that we were told to run away!!well...got back home and our mom sat us down....we were told when we apologized,begged and such we could have dinner and water we were sooooooo thirsty walking all afternoon in the sun...LOL...my brother at once folded like a lawn chair...i on the other hand went to bed empty and dry....we have since not changed much!
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Old 12-01-2009, 04:57 PM
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Default Ball Field Caper

When I was eight years old, I was living in Louisiana. The ball field was owned by the Missouri Pacific railway.

During that time around Christmas the grass turned brown. Fire works were legal to sell and use in town. The neighbor hood guys met at the
ball park and shot their fireworks. We caught the ball field on fire and it spread faster than we could stomp out the flames. The city firemen came and contained the fire. My mother and father were very displeased with this caper.

This later became a yearly event!!
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:07 PM
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I sneeked over to the dog pound one night (actually more than one time) and turned all the dogs loose. They later started pad locking the fences.
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:19 PM
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A friend had a king snake. I was going to raise mice for it to eat. After a couple of months and thousands of mice later, I took all the mice to my school and turned them loose in the hallway.

I'm sure they still have a mice infestation just as sure that if I were to do that now, I'd be expelled and probably rendered to Gitmo!
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:22 PM
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about the time i was eight i had a new puppy, it was a little puppy not but about eight weeks old, and it wandered onto the neihbors place and the old bas$#$2 shot my puppy, out of pure meaness, so i returned the favor by letting his old wagon with a load of hay on it roll down the hill and into his pond a couple of years later,
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Old 12-01-2009, 05:56 PM
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Started the dump on fire once. That was a sight. Our little fire got a bit out of hand.

We used to have fireworks wars in the sand pit near our neighborhood. That was always good for someone getting hurt. Just part of the fun.

Never did the bb gun wars but some of the other guys did. No thanks.
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:17 PM
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My wife's got an eleven year old granddaughter that is a really great kid for the most part. She also has one that is eight, and lives in Tennessee. Last week, they both came to spend the night with us, and my wife went outside at dark to get them to come in from playing. They both had some cash on them and Mrs. jframe asked them where they got it. Come to find out, they'd been going door to door in our apartment complex " collecting for St. Jude". Needless to say, she marched them right BACK to where they'd been and made them both apologize and give the money back. They both got a little talking to by me about the advantages of WORKING for a dollar, and I think their mommas gave them a little more than that the next day when they got them back.
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:25 PM
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Due to lingering questions on the statute of limitations, I refer all such questions to my forum legal counsel. I'd guess Cajun himself has some past issues of his own on this subject.

The correct answer here seems to be: "I'm sorry, your honor, I just can't seem to recall those incidents."
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:30 PM
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I was a pretty good kid, really, not a whole lot of shenanigans compared to many anyway.

Off the top of my head.

- Stole a superball from the wigwam drug store while with my mom when I was very little. Ended up confessing the same day and having to apologize to the store manager, right after that my mom took me over to my dads business to confess to him. That didn't end well for me.

- Got caught peeing in the neighbors yard. What did they want me to do do, hold it and run all the way home?

- 5 hours after passing my drivers test at 16 years old I wrecked my moms prized Ford Thunderbird. That thing had the 429 Thunderjet engine and could do burn-outs for blocks. The wrecker driver left the car in the driveway and I waited all afternoon for my dad to get home from work. That didn't end well for me either.
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Old 12-01-2009, 07:45 PM
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I don't recall anything out of the ordinary that I did, but I'll tell one about my dad. He was one of 11 kids, and one night he woke everyone up, and told them the house was on fire. Then, naturally, he went back to bed. After standing in the yard for about 15 minutes, they figured out that there was no fire, and went back in. I don't know what grandpa did, but dad's brothers made sure it never happened again.
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:09 PM
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The one I like to tell is on my son. He was about 4 and a half, my wife was big pregnant with our third. I pulled up to the house after work and got out of the car. I heard my wife screaming my son's name from the back of the house about the same time my son came chugging around the side of the house as fast as he could looking over his scoulder. He ran smack into me, looked up and said "Hey Dad, let's go for a ride."
Another one was the time I got the detention slip from the principal (the boy was in 6th grade at the time) asking me to please talk to the boy and tell him that he was NOT to go into th girls locker room again . I have that detention slip framed and in my office.
I'll also tell one on my dad when he was in high school. My grandfather was yelling at him for something and he was yelling back. Well my grandfather took a swing at him, my dad ducked and my grandfather broke his hand on the bedpost-my father told me that he probably shouldn't have started laughing
As far as me stories, I was the good child that never got caught doing anything bad.
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:54 PM
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I was involved in a few BB gun skirmishes; I wonder if paintballs were invented by somebody like us?

When I was probably about 12, I thought it would be fun to try to hit the primer of a shotgun shell from which I had removed the powder, wads and shot. I did, too, on the second shot; the primer cup flew back and pinged me below the right eye. OKAY, no more of that. (A few years back, my grown son admitted that he had done the same thing when he was about the same age; the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree after all).

It also seemed like a good idea one time to pour some gas on the ground and drop a match while bending over it. I looked real strange with no eyelashes.

A bicycle ride down the service road from the top of Stone Mountain, Georgia also comes to mind.

How did we survive??
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Old 12-01-2009, 08:57 PM
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Oh gosh, I think I would wear out my finger's typing on this one! Let's just say I was not a perfect child! My Dad once told me (in a fit of frustration no doubt) he shoulda put me in a sack and tossed it into the river when he had the chance.
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Old 12-01-2009, 09:01 PM
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At age 6 I got in deep trouble for whalloping another kid over the head with a cap gun.

The excuse (that I honestly belived) that Roy, Gene, Hoppy, and Red Ryder did it all the time to the bad guys in the movies, and they woke up a hour or so later with no ill effects..........Was not accepted.
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Old 12-01-2009, 09:29 PM
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An old friend of mine was dropping matches down the sewer with a girlfriend when they were in middle school. One match she dropped ignited some gases and burned off here eye brows. I asked my friend what he did (I meant immediately). He replied that he broke it off with her. I asked why, and he said he just couldn't date a girl with no eye brows.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:02 PM
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When I was about 4, the 6 year old nieghborhood bully started picking on me. I had gotten a plastic toy guitar for Christmas and was playing with it on the porch when the bully started in. My favorite cartoon show at that time was Huckleberry Hound and his alter ego "El Kabong" (who would smash badguys over the head with a guitar). I yelled "El Kabong" and smashed the guitar over the bully's head and walked away. The bully went running home bleeding and crying.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cjw3 View Post
It also seemed like a good idea one time to pour some gas on the ground and drop a match while bending over it. I looked real strange with no eyelashes.
Me too, but it was a pile of gunpowder taken from a dud fireworks rocket. Lost my eyebrows and melted my bangs together. My buddies were rolling on the ground. literally.
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Old 12-01-2009, 10:34 PM
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My brothers and I robbed an eagle nest once, we thought it would be great to have a pet bald eagle. It was a very dangerous stunt, angry adult eagles, a dificult climb up an old snag ect. We finaly made it into the nest and took the downey chick and lowered it to the ground with a rope and wrapped in a jacket. The chick was perfectly calm during the whole ordeal. Our plan was to tell ouf folks that it fell out of the nest and we rescued it. We had it in a cardboard box on the kitchen counter feeding it bait herring when our dad came home from work and we launched into our big fib about how we rescued it and were going to raise it as a pet. When we had finished the eagle slowly lowerd its head into the bottom corner of the box and with its rear end sticking up in the air it launched a four foot string of poop at high velocity that splatterd all over the kitchen wall.The fish and game was notified in less than five mins.
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:05 AM
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Probably not full fledged mischief, but I remember these two:
1. When I was in the First Grade, I took the bus to school. There were 2 busses, one day at the end of the school day, I got on the other bus. I wanted to see where it went.
2. Until I was 7 or so I used to jump down the stairs. Honest. I was never caught and I never hurt myself. Probably from only the 3rd or 4th step of course. I distinctly recall playing "Bail Out" on the swings in elementary school. Get as high up as possible and "BAIL OUT!"

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Old 12-02-2009, 12:44 AM
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Blackhawk,

Your story about the kid on the school bus reminds me of when I used to be a sub driver for the school district. I happened to be driving one of the longer bus routs that day, and near the end of the route, a couple of highschool girls come up to the front of the bus with this little kindergartener, saying "we don't know who this kid is". . . OK, where do you live? Right next to that great big rock. Hmmm. . . OK, what's your name? I got that -- thankfully all the buses had radios so I could call the bus garage with the kid's name and find out where he lived. I talked to the other bus driver on the radio and got the exact location of his house. That kid couldn't have gotten on a bus that took him farther away from where he lived if he tried! It was at least another 50 miles to take that kid home!
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Old 12-02-2009, 12:59 AM
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My own story goes something like this: We were going to play cowboys and indians and we were going to burn someone at the stake. We got a stake and were going to pound it into the stone driveway using a 17 lb (we weighed it on the bathroom scale) rectangular block of granite. Well, that didn't work so I threw the block down on the ground hitting my younger brother on the foot. Of course he yelled bloody murder, so I said that didn't hurt, see? and did it again! I don't know if it was the first time or the second that broke his foot! Dad happened to be away hunting deer during the old early rifle season in the Apostle Islands -- I was sure hoping brother would get his cast off before Dad got home (He didn't). Looking back, my punishment was certianly fitting (I absolutely hated it!). I had to pull by brother so school for 6 weeks in our old red Radio Flier wagon! And believe me, he didn't cut me any slack, either, that mouthy kid! I was probably in 5th grade at the time, which would have put him in 2nd. Probably the worst time was having to pull him 5 or 6 blocks to a birthday party.
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:38 AM
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I tried to give my sister a manicure by putting her pinkie in a pencil sharpener.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:11 AM
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My Uncle Ben finally “fessed up” and made contrition at a family gathering when he was close to 80. He and his brother both loved fine firearms and I was blessed to have them at my home together (one was from CA) for an afternoon playing with my collection and talking guns. It was a great afternoon and I miss them both.

One day during the depression, my Grandfather picked up a hitchhiker with Benny (maybe 6 years old) sitting between them. When the hitchhiker got out, my uncle saw that some .22 RF cartridges had fallen out of his pocket onto the seat, so he slid over and sat on them and they were his. Some time later (days, months, ?), the family was going to town (I believe ice cream was involved ) and little Benny opted to stay home at the farm alone. When everyone was safely out of range, he retrieved the .22’s, wedged them into a crack in a log and proceeded to smack them with a hammer and make them go bang! He said that after firing a few, he got his head down closer to have a better look and a piece of brass from the case head clipped his ear lobe. It bled like a stuck pig, got all over his shirt and neck and he knew he was in big trouble. Plus, it hurt.

The chicken coop was being re-roofed at the time and he had strict orders to stay off it (apparently, climbing on the coop roof was normally acceptable behavior). When his parents, brother and sister got back from town, he told them he fell off the chicken coop roof. He figured the punishment would be less severe and he kept that secret for over 70 years.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:48 AM
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Default Cut My Own Switchin' Branch

I would reveal some of my misdoings, but my Mom is still alive (93). Someone would tell her and I would get a switchin' after having to cut the Willow branch for her to do it with! ........ :-) ......... Big Cholla
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:22 AM
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I would reveal some of my misdoings, but my Mom is still alive (93). Someone would tell her and I would get a switchin' after having to cut the Willow branch for her to do it with! ........ :-) ......... Big Cholla
Yea....I remember having to go out and cut the switch myself a few times.... And God help you if you didn't bring her back a good one
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Old 12-02-2009, 11:54 AM
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I would reveal some of my misdoings, but my Mom is still alive (93). Someone would tell her and I would get a switchin' after having to cut the Willow branch for her to do it with! ........ :-) ......... Big Cholla
Funny story about that.

About 20 years ago (I was 17) we were visiting my grandmother around Christmas. My uncle Mike was there as well, with his family. All the grownups, me included, sitting around the table playing cards and my Uncle was teasing his mother about something or other. She was getting iritated and mentioned to him that he was not too big or old for her to take him over her knee just like his father (long deceased) used to do.

My Uncle Mike smiled, looked at Grammy, and said "Ma, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Dad never hit us one time."

"Wat are you talking about? He used to whip you all the time, whenever it was needed."

"Mom, Dad never did. He used to make us scream while he hit a book or something. Then he'd tell us to shape up and be sure to rub your *** when you go by your mother."



She was so mad at her husband who had been dead for 20 plus years!
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Old 12-02-2009, 07:57 PM
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After reading Forester's story, I remember one about my uncle. He was in his early twentys and had come back home for the holiday. He was 6'3" and Grandma was much closer to five feet than six, and weighed about 95 lbs. They were both in the kitchen; she was cooking and he was teasing her about something. When she'd had enough, she said "John, you may be grown up, but I can still whip you." He started say something about how she wasn't big enough, then had to pick himself up off the floor.
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Old 12-02-2009, 08:51 PM
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These stories are great. I like to tell how good I was as a kid (about the only good thing about having parents that passed away). My wife usaually says "puckey" at my stories. A while back my siblings were in town, started to spill the beens about their wonderful brother. I offered money but they went on all night (now I know what a roast feels like). Most of the stories must have been true, but I honestly couldn't remember them. I now know why the parents kept moving while I was at school.
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Old 12-02-2009, 10:05 PM
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I'm 61 years old and I don't know that the statute of limitations has run on all the thing "our gang" did as youts.

It started in 1953 when they happened to show a Nu Yok Sity Police Officer on "To Tell the Truth" with a bunch of zip guns. Did you ever fire a 30-30 zip gun? Did you know that it will shoot the firing pin bolt clear through a company frame house in a company camp?

Also did you know that making a "big firecracker" out of 4 inch pipe and smokless powder your dads have and then setting it on a pole in the farm area of that company camp will blow up all the chicken coops and kill all of the chickens?

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Old 12-03-2009, 02:55 AM
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I'm 61 years old and I don't know that the statute of limitations has run on all the thing "our gang" did as youts.
I was thinking pretty much the same thing.... I'm 63 now and there is no doubt that atleast some of my "youthful misadventures" would no doubt qualify as felonies.
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Old 12-03-2009, 12:20 PM
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about the time i was eight i had a new puppy, it was a little puppy not but about eight weeks old, and it wandered onto the neihbors place and the old bas$#$2 shot my puppy, out of pure meaness, so i returned the favor by letting his old wagon with a load of hay on it roll down the hill and into his pond a couple of years later,

You let the old ******* off too easy.
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Old 12-04-2009, 10:49 AM
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I was thinking pretty much the same thing.... I'm 63 now and there is no doubt that atleast some of my "youthful misadventures" would no doubt qualify as felonies.
As the late departed rapper Biggie two shoes was oft heard to say....."True dat my brutha true dat"
Heres a lesson I learned in my yout-do NOT hard pack black powder in your pipe cannon
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