In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

Haircuts:
Marines: Heads will be shaved.
Army: Stylish flat-top's for all recruits.
Navy: No haircut standard.
Air Force: Complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.
Training Hours:
Marines: Reveille at 0500, train until 2000.
Army: Reveille at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy: Get out of bed at 0900, train until 1100, lunch until 1300, train until 1600.
Air Force: Awaken at 1000, breakfast in bed, train from 1100 to 1200, lunch at 1200, train from 1300 to 1400, nap at 1400, awaken from nap at 1500, training ceases at 1500.
Meals:
Marines: Meals, Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army: One hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy: 3 hot meals.
Air Force: Catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, and Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse. All you can eat.
Leave And Liberty:
Marines: None.
Army: 4 hours a week.
Navy: 2 days a week.
Air Force: For every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.
Protocol:
Marines: Will address all officers as "Sir," and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e., Sgt. Smith).
Army: Will address all officers as "Sir," unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
Navy: Will address all officers as "Skipper," and all enlisted personnel as "Chief."
Air Force: All Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with each other.
Decorations/Awards:
Marines: Medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery only.
Army: Medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy: Will have ships' engineers make medals for them as desired.
Air Force: Will be issued all medals and badges, as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers anyway.
Camouflage Uniforms:
Marines: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Army: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship. (Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)
Air Force: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons and colorful squadron patches all over them.
Career Fields:
Marines: All Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army: It doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment anyway.
Navy: Nobody knows. The Navy is still trying figure out what sailors in the ABH, SMC, BNC and BSN rates do anyway.
Air Force: Every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.

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Forum consigliere

Sounds like the USAF has changed a lot since I was in it...

But this is funny.

T-Star

That is funny and while not true some of it got a little close! I will never forget when I was in Korea and myself and a guard had to drive from Camp Casey to Inchon to pick up some electronics.Best I can remember there was a U.S Air Force mess hall where we had to go and while there we had lunch.Man what a difference from an Army mess hall!!! The food was wonderful and we actually got served our food!!! Not at all like the Army.

Good to see the Marines are going to get more than one MRE per day finally.

As a Army Vietnam Grunt I resemble those remarks.

We had it won, Politics made us a loser.
We did not lose that conflict we were inhibited from
winning.

Da##@!, knew I should have stayed in the USAF.

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H Richard
SWCA1967 SWHF244

Yeah, me too!

AC

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SWCA 2082

What Milton remarked is same as I seen when I was there...........But in diff places in the world we was all lucky to get anything to eat.........Ernie

P.S I was a 11 B, but we are all Bros......its all the same

LMAO! You sure got that right!

I know several current and former USAF folk who would wince reading this, but they would have trouble denying it entirely.

Sir, this reminds me of a similar joke:

Much of interservice rivalry stems from a difference in terminology.

If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they will assault it via fire and maneuver, set up a fortified perimeter in the rubble, and call for an air strike.

If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will post guards at all the doors and let no one in without a pass.

If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn out the lights and lock the doors.

If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.



Hope this helps, and Semper Fi.

Ron H.

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Wishin' don't make it so.

USAF cammies? Last pic I saw was some kind of blue/ gray/ white costume. Looked like there was some kind of major malfunction at the base laundry.

Has any one seen a USAF base without an 18 hole golf course?

Marines: Dug in on the perimeter
Army: Building up supplies and preparing for the big push
Navy: On the ships
USAF: After completing the day's mission in an air conditioned airplane, back at home base taking YOUR girlfriend out on the town

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Science plus Art

As a new army recruit I had the meal card.I wasn't able to get separate rations until my spec4.Most of the guys didn't use theirs so logistically we had more food than guys that ate.Solution:Buy better stuff and eat well.I loved my little chow hall.
I ate at a bunch of chow halls but never a Marines.The AF's was always pretty good.But I guess it all depends on where you're at and how hungry you are at the time.
I do miss Chili Mac."Comfort food" Anyone got a recipe?

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Dum vivo cano

The AF was the safest of 5 solutions (counting the Coast Guard) to a lousy draft lottery number. Made E-5 with date of rank of 1 year 11 months. Got out after 4 years 3 months and never regretted the decision to get out.

I learned that the easiest way to repair an aircraft was Remove and Replace Flight Crew. First lieutenants are dumb, majors can fly anything!

Want to teach the Lieutenant maintenance officer what life on the bottom is like -- it takes 1 simple question, "Lieutenant did you flunk out of pilot training or navigator school?" Never heard another comment about air force and attitude.

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S&WHF 366

I'm still in, guess I didn't get the memo yet!

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- The Federalist #46 -

1. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture.

2. Drink coffee.

3. Send in the Marines.

Works for me.

The Air Force - its not just a job, its a 9 to 5 job.

I miss it sometimes.

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“What you got, ain’t new.”

I'm still waitin' for that high paying civilian job.

Tim

My ex has a picture of himself in VietNam.

He and his Marine buddies are living in a dug-out made from sandbags and bathing in bomb craters. Across the road from them, behind the barbed-wire topped fence, is the air-conditioned cinder-block barracks for the Air Force.

And the problem with that is?

In spite of all the good natured ribbing, I would like to point out that the vast majority of POWs in Vietnam were aviators from all services, and the majority of those were Air Force.

I recognize a couple of those descriptions. While working in David Grant Medical Center at Travis AFB, CA we had alot of Army and Marines coming up to eat at the Hospital Chow hall. Man, we had awesome food there!

During the 21 years I was in the Air Force I had opportunity to visit several Army, Navy and Marine installations. Think I made the right decision by going with the Air Force.

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A closed mouth gathers no foot

damn the core has really gone soft since i was discharged in 62..

Wow, this has been a very interesting read.

All I can say is that ain't the Air Force I served in. We were too busy with All of our NBC Missions, Combat Arms Missions, Explosive Ordinance Missions, Mobile Radar Units (USAF Grunts), Ground Launch Cruse Missles, Fixin Broke Airplanes, Rapid Runway Repair, etc.

Guess I just got the wrong job while I was in but I wouldn't trade those Twenty Years for Nothing! Proud to have Served in the Air Force. Proud to stand Shoulder to Shoulder with all of our Brothers and Sisters in Arms.

Now don't get me wrong, most of that stuff about the Air Force is true, just not where I was assigned. When you're always assigned to the Combat Support Group, things are going to be muddy, dirty, long hours, cold hot tubs, cold meals and grunting! But Damit, we loved every minute of it!!!

TSgt, USAF-Retired! 1976 - 1996
Jet Noise, the Sound of Freedom

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Rick
American Blacksmith

Amen to that!! Between the news media (reporters) and the politicians, we didn't have a chance. Charlie was tough, but our own side was what did us in.

We had it won, Politics made us a loser.
We did not lose that conflict we were inhibited from
winning

Well, there you go!
Didn't von Clausewitz say that "War is diplomacy by other means."

TACC1
"We were always right."

things that make you go hmmmmmmmm!

Ah the marines where they convinced you that the impossible just took a little longer. Give the smallest guy the biggest weapon and told you to charge and you did. In boot camp all injuries were caused by tripping over a locker box...The Corpsmen said with a smile you Marines are sure clumsy..If you were real lucky you got a asst. DI that had served 5 years in the legion. What a sweat fellow. Real understanding type. Always asked if you would mind doing 50 push ups. Very understanding types those DI's. You hated them until the day you graduated Boot Camp then for some reason they were ok. If you got in to the **** they became the best people you ever knew. Strange the Corps had the mental edge on every one else....You were more afraid of the DI than any damned enemy you were to face...Goodnight Chesty where ever you are !!

My Chief Petty Officer uncle got a few long swims courtesy of His Imperial Majesty's Navy, he never mentioned the nice treatment in training.

This is all in fun by the way...

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GO NAVY!