I was inspecting my new shooting range. I am building a crude 50 yard pistol and carbine range, using the natural lay of the land, some embankments left at the loading docks by the loggers, and dirt moved by my front-loader as a back stop. I was stepping off to determine where the ten-yard flag should go when my right foot hit a slick patch of pine straw. I went down 'face foremost' as my Daddy used to say. I was headed down a slight decline, so I sort of hit, bounced, hit again, grunted, and rolled. The ground had a carpet of pine straw and leaves, and was wet and soft, so I didn't do any damage, to myself, anyhow. I didn't even lose control of any bodily functions, at least none that left a stain.

No one was watching, but had there been, I am sure I would have scored at least 7.8 on technique, and probably 9.0 for artistic interpretation and creative use of expletives.

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Georgia On My Mind

As Patton is supposed to have said, "A gentleman should be able to cuss for three minutes and not repeat himself." This would have been a good occasion for that.

The last time I bit the dust hard was a couple years ago, decoupling the mower from the tractor. As I went to step off the mower, I got my foot caught and down I went--face first, on concrete. I think I exceeded the three minute quota by quite a bit.

You'd've cleaned another .5 if you'd added a Gainor or a Twist.

Seriously, glad you didn't get busted up. A pal of mine was raking in his orchard last summer. Got off his ancient Ford 9N Tractor to clear a tine and slipped. Landed on his back then the tractor rolled over on him. He's just now getting around some with a walker...

I was out for my evening walk; stubbed my toe and went down; it must have looked like when they dynamite a smokestack on TV. Bruises from my knees to my forehead. Broke a rib and my nose; the latter bled gallons. Both eyes almost swollen shut; I took my picture and e-mailed it to my kids. They freaked. Drove myself to the emergency room; finally a tech of some sort sewed up my nose. He numbed it first: but he was talking on the cell phone on his shoulder at the same time as waving this long needle around. It went in one side of my nose and came out the other. The lidodcane ran into my mouth; boy is that stuff bitter!! Healed OK, but have a couple of extra lumps and my nose was quite large and lumpy enough already; they don't call me Cyrano for nothing.

You broke the law there! The law states when you pull one of those you must have an a few wittness's! Last one of those I did was at home and the little old lady next door came out onto her front porch and inquired if I was ok, fortunatly I hadent shifted into cuss mode yet!

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Stay safe people!

LOL,

Completing construction on our new home. As we all know the cable companies only run the cable, they don't bury it. For a couple of weeks this cable ran across the yard, on the side of a steep hill, and had to be stepped over all the time.

Yep, got tangled up in and went down. Remember, this is a steep incline that leads to unimproved woods. Once I started rolling I could not stop. Down and down the hill I went, into the woods and finally stopped in the healthiest growth of poison ivy in the country.

Like a beetle on its back I kicked myself around until I finally got up. Nothing broken or cut but before long I had poison ivy everywhere. Eyes swelled shut, was inside my ears, had to go to the emergency room, took almost 2 weeks to see and hear again.

Fell one other time, same hill only this time in an area filled with dog manure, oh well that's another story.

Arrived at a new to me location to flyfish. Was so eager to get fishing I was rigging the rod as I was walking. Unbeknown to me, the area to park was on the same level as the woods I was walking through. The river was on a second plateau, six feet lower. I bet you can't guess who wasn't lookiing where he was going and walked right off that six foot ledge separating the two areas. Thank God the earth there was soft sandy material and neither I nor the rod was damaged. A fellow fisherman on the far bank of the stream who witnessed the whole thing had a hard time remaining standing he was laughing so hard.

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Lost in Penn's Woods

Glad to hear you came off ok from your fall.

The last time I seriously fell was a few years ago in my garden. I tripped on a raised brick on the walk way and fell on my side. I threw out my back (I have 3 partially herniated discs in my lower back hence retirement) when I landed. This was in the times before cell phones so I laid there for about 4 hours till my wife came home and started looking for me. It was in the spring and I had plenty of time to admire the trees and wildlife. She called the local PD and they sent 4 guys over to help get me up and into the house. I was laid up for about 8 weeks.

My time on the ground gave me a better appreciation for my dog. The cat walked over and checked me out and immediatly left the area. The dog walked over, checked me out then laid on the ground next to me but between me and the gate. I guess if he couldn't help he could at least stand watch over me. He was a 110lb Komondor Australian Shepard cross. Black and white with 2ft dreadlocks. Sure do miss him.

Sorry guys it's really early here and I started to reminesce.

...only ego bruises.

Monday night, at our regular club meeting, I premiered as the newly-elected treasurer. The officers sit at a table on a small stage. I gave my report, signed off on attendance, and went to help the guy who sells the 50/50 tickets. As I exited, stage left, my heel caught the edge of the carpet.

I manged to flop better than Shamu with a seal pup. I landed face-first into a counter, and ended up with a bruised eyebrow, elbow, and lip; a nasty bruise and abrasion on my chin; black eye and bloody nose; bent glasses; and a bruised knee.

It took a few seconds to regain my senses, and someone called the paramedics, and they got there in about three minutes. They checked me out, I declined transport, and managed to get home.

I took two Oxycontins, and slept in a recliner with two ice packs on my face.

Better today, but I'm sticking with the story that my wife was testing out a new iron skillet. I figure that's a better alibi, than tripping the light fantastic off the stage!

You dont have to have witnesses but you do have to mark an * next to it.

But did you "stick" the landing!

Real glad you didn't cause any serious injury.


WG840

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Freedom above all else.

My boss installed video cameras in strategic places a couple of years ago. My fall was recorded and replayed for the enjoyment of all my co-workers. I was tying a roll of carpet off to a pickup, and somehow got the loose end of twine around my ankle. Walked around to the other side of the truck and BOOM....like a steer at the rodeo. Consider yourself lucky.

You old guys need to be careful, at the hospital we call this "hip season". It's the time of year older folks fall on their asses, break their hips, and the orthopedic surgeons get their new Porsches, Mercedes, and summer homes paid off.

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Don't kiss smiling dogs!

I don't fall very often as the result of a mis-spent youth as a fencer. It has left me with a dancer's balance and a gunslinger's reaction time...but, I missed a step going down the front stoop about seven months ago. I side-stepped a few times and then went down hard on the lawn my left side. I had enough presence of mind not to put my arm out but when I landed, it was folded up alongside my rib cage. It knocked the wind right out of me so the invective was limited to a loud "OOOF". I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib but I never did get looked at, just lots of ibuprofin, ice and some brandy. Landing on the lawn instead of the sidewalk kept me from getting cut up and there haven't been any lasting repercussions. I was lucky.

Russ