I'm very guilty of something. I've been lucky in life. I had good parents, got a good college education, married my childhood sweetheart, earned a comfortable living, raised four great children, and have lived on to enjoy five grandchildren and one great-grandchild. I'm now enjoying retirement, and have turned my gun hobby and (sometimes debatable) writing skills into enough income to support my hobby. What I'm guilty of is accepting my good fortune over the years as normal. For many people in the United States, unfortunately, what I have and enjoy is NOT the norm.

This was made clear to me last night. A few times each month, my wife and I volunteer to help feed the homeless at a local St. Vincent dePaul food kitchen. The street people in the area come in to get what will probably be their only real meal of the day. These folks live and sleep on the streets, living out of a backpack. The guys, most of them, can't afford and have no place to practice shaving, so they have beards. Their clothes typically have not been washed in a long, long time. The women could also benefit from a shower now and then. I thought to myself that a good cleaning up, fresh clothes and some makeup would transform most of them into darn decent looking people. Some of the women had kids, and brought them in, also.

Last night, the only breads we had were bagels, donated by a local Starbucks. Some of the folks could not eat them. Why? because it would tear their teeth out - no dental care and not lucky enough to be born with good teeth.

A lot of 'em asked for more of those bagels before they left, though. They'd put 'em in a plastic sack to carry with them for nourishment the next day.

Where do they go? They go back on the streets as evening falls, to find a place to sleep. In the open. In the cold. One guy had a loyal dog waiting for him outside. I think that dog was probably his only source of warmth as they slept together last night. He carried a bowl of food out for that dog to eat.

Uniformly, these folks were extremely grateful for the food they received. For about 1/2 hour, they could sit down at a clean table, and eat a normal, healthy meal. They'd say "Thank you" and "God bless you" as they filed through the serving line.

One woman particularly touched me. She was probably in her late 40s. She didn't say a word as she filed through the line and then sat down to eat. And then she began to pray, her hands clasped high in front of her. It was hard to make out what she was saying, as her voice was failing. But it was evident that she was giving sincere thanks to God for the blessing of a meal. And then she began to gesture in sign language, directing her gestures to heaven. And then it was easy to SEE what she was saying. She was saying she didn't have much, but she was grateful for what she was about to receive. And she was thanking her God for that blessing. It was only after about three minutes of signing that she began to eat.

I noticed that she had no drink, so I poured a glass of water and took it over to her. I suspected that she was dehydrated, so I brought a pitcher over to her so she could replenish her glass as needed. I placed a hand on her shoulder and told her that God loved her. Her eyes misted over, and she asked me if I would pray with her. This we did together. I'm not a bleeding heart, believe me, but this unfortunate but grateful woman really affected me like nothing or no one else in a long time. I spent the rest of the night wondering about her - where she came from, how she got in this hard situation, how she manages to eke out a living; where she slept last night.

Most of us have it pretty good, I guess. It's when you see how the other half lives that you really appreciate that. Typically, our problems are surmountable. For many, that's a real uphill climb against almost impossible odds.

Think of these folks today. They are our brothers and sisters, and fellow citizens in this great country. I wish I had the answers to the questions they present. I don't.

If you do get the opportunity to contribute time, money or provisions to the St. Vincent dePaul Society, please do so. That would help a lot. And count your blessings.

John

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- Cogito, ergo armatus sum -

I ponder this quite often in light of how much we take for granted, how easily it can all go away and how quickly it can all change.

It seems that no matter what we do it's never enough, and I know that many folks live this way by choice because of inner demons and problems, but if one has any heart at all it's hard to understand how one cannot be moved by these. But we're also told that many times we entertain angels unaware when given opportunities to help give back of our blessings.

Most of the time, for most of us our problems stem from having too much - not our lack. I know there are a lot of scammers out there, but I'd rather give it in the right spirit and let Him take care of those who take advantage wrongly.

My wife and I try to be faithful to helping when we can and for me it's always with the knowledge that "there but for the grace of God go I".

I agree. Also a lot of it is what you do for yourself. I have always believed in keeping fit, at 61 I can outrun and outlast a lot of people half my age. We had our first Big Snow of the year here in NJ a few days ago, I felt good after all the shoveling I did-good workout. I have been in hospitals overnight only 2x, the first when I was born, the second in BCT. No accidents, serious illnesses, etc., my last doctor's visit was in 1992. Job is secure.

John,

You are where you are at not from the luck of the draw...but from YOUR hard work and personal responsibility. I dealt with many, many people during my thirty two years as a cop who had little or nothing, their lives a constant day to day struggle.

For 90% of them they were in their situation due to dishonesty, lack of personal responsibility as well as simply GIVING UP. A lifetime of poor decisions can easily make you homeless.

FN in MT

I thank God every day, several times, for his many blessings.

I believe all that has been said is very true.
As much as my parents wanted me to be college educated I wanted to be a fireman since I was 8.5 brothers and sisters overly educated,my oldest brother told me a few years ago that he thought I had the best life of all of his brothers and sisters.I did not get rich or famous just comfortable but more importantly the lives I touched with 30 years in the F.D. with 18 of those 30 years as a medic.
I was never so humbled as this past Christmas in So. Carolina.My son in law,(only person in his family to graduate from college) had taken my daughter and his mother and myself to Uncle Ron's house for Christmas dinner.
These people have nothing !literally nothing, barest of essentials.
What overwhelmed me was the love and true affection they all had for each other.There was 7 children from different families not one adult male did not get on the floor and play and wrestle with the kids.Open themselves up to a 3 and 5 year olds attacks and a genuine fun time for all.Best Chistmas meal I have ever eaten.Salt of the earth,God fearing people that ask for nothing and have nothing.
My daughter married well indeed.

John, you are absolutely right. Even those among us who are living on a small, fixed income and cannot work are far better off than those on the street in this country, and most people in third world countries. "Three hots and a cot" would be a luxury for over half the world. God has blessed us and our U.S.A. abundantly. To give back a little of the time or money He has given us is only natural.

Many times, we undertake a project (or mission, if you will) thinking we will bless those for whom we are working, such as you did at St. Vincent de Paul. In my experience, I always walk away feeling more blessed by them than they by me.

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Insert short witty words here

You are a good man John and I am proud of you for what you do.

Spot on, Paladin! Thanks for sharing and for the wake up call. The scriptures tell us that angels walk among us. Sounds like you encountered one.

My heart goes out to others not as fortunate as I have been. Living on the Oregon Coast has brought thru to me what a depressed area this has become. When the tree huggers shut down the woods Oregon started going into a deep recession. Nice homes here started to fall in value. Guys were out of work, business failed. The homeless became more prevalent. On the streets & in the one shelter. Churches do their best but money is scarce.Crime is increasing as work is harder to find. I'm lucky to be this old & retired. Far from wealthy but with great kids & grandkids. Have a new roof over my head & something to eat, a true God to say my prayers to every night. Guess I'm just plain lucky or blessed or whatever. Dick.

The look for the women is usually deliberate. Even if you're attractive, you don't want to look it on the street. The common wisdom for those living on the street is that this reduces the risk of sexual assault.

Smart folks that can plan ahead ought consider panhandling their way to a bus ticket for San Diego. Life on the street isn't bad there. It's warm. People are friendly, and there are showers out on the beach that you can use.

Discount airfare to Hawaii is also an option. Sleeping outside there isn't so bad at all. And if you're a citizen, they can't deport you.

Bagels are like hardtack. Wait until they get really crunchy, then dip them in coffee and they'll become soft.

With these bad economic times, we're seeing more and more folks at our church's free meals that we do twice a month and I personally thank the Lord everyday for all the blessings he gives to me. Keep up the good work John.

Another great thread.
I find mostly the ones that come to the food kitchens and shelters around these parts really need the help.
Others live in drug houses and come to the better side of town to pan handle and probably make more than me at the end of the day.

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Dum vivo cano

I always read these threads and view them with mixed feelings. I'm happy for those of you who see it the way you do. Even my own wife volunteers the last two Saturdays each month to help run a free store. Its small compared to what some in larger cities put on. Usually they have under 100 customers per day.

The reason I see it differently I guess is because I'm cold hearted. Because of where we live, I see a fair number of the homeless. About a quarter mile down the road is access to the river. Up here its pretty well blocked by a retaining wall and fence. It kind of funnels the "homeless" into a small opening. The only thing I see that is common is everyone of them drinks way too much. Its not just the idea they're homeless, they do have money. They have priorities, and its alcohol first.

A neighbor and I cleared a section of the river a couple of years ago. What we found was pretty disgusting. All the clothes they'd been given were discarded as they became soiled, or the season changed. All those piles of winter coats, now rotted in the undergrowth. I understand they have no place to store them. If it rains, they get wet and thrown away.

Why not? They can just go to the free store and be given another.

Some of the families aren't needy by my standards (admittedly, unscientific). I often drop my wife off at the store. What I'm greeted with are BMWs and Caddy's. No, not new ones, but then I drive a ratty old jeep. My wife and all the others make excuses for them. Those who work in the places certainly are dedicated. I admire them for that dedication, but I don't buy into the premise.

Once we were making the rounds of the flea markets. There, at a booth were some of her "customers". Selling the toy's they'd received for free. Just a way to turn help into cash. I have no idea what they did with the cash, I kept walking.

I have a couple that walks past my home each day. For the first year or so I'd not talked to them. I gave them the nickname "the little people" because they weren't very tall. Each day they hit the soup kitchen/free food places. The guy is pretty intelligent, and talks a good game. He even claims to have been a POW, an ex-deputy Sheriff...but he also claims to have been a medical doctor. Its nice to have friends, so I wave at him when I see him. But like the others, I think there's a lie someplace in the background. He goes to the free store, too. Or he did. They quit going (certainly not the prices) because they treated him and his wife/companion as a couple. Hence, they couldn't score double food and other items.

I realize its my fault I don't automatically see the good in people, nor do I accept the idea they're unfortunate. I do think they're victims of poor choices. But they continue making them

In the summer the population along the river increases dramatically. My neighbor who helped clean brush knows some of them. Many do have places they can go, but they prefer camping in the woods, drinking, and BSing with friends. Technically, they're the homeless. But its by choice, they're choice.

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Dick Burg

Thanks, John, for a lovely reflection. God enriches us by helping us to serve one another (after all, He deigned to come to serve us). Many times people I have worked to help have turned out to bring me lasting lessons of God's love. Makes you wonder who is serving whom.

God bless you all, brothers.

The human condition, what really bothers me is the overlooked fact that you do not have to go to a third world country ( our new future ?) to find starving children.
As others have pointed out there is indeed many who live like that as a choice because its easier.
But... in todays world no matter how bad you may want a job, its just not so easy to come by, those of us who are unemployed, underemployed and or work part time know this is not a kinder gentler world any more.

John, a well-written letter about the less fortunate that characterizes so many people in so many towns/cities/states. Once in awhile, I see an individual (like some of those poor souls you that you help) and wonder.... 'why didn't that guy go to school, stick with it, tough it out?'......
In some situations -NOT all- the individual just makes poor decisions (no school-training/career/mate/substances)- on many issues that he'll have to live with forever. I feel as badly as the next guy when I see this....However, we must remember that some % of people will NOT (repeat NOT) work...period. No compassion from me about that type....Nevertheless, your letter is a moving one. gr

I admire you. True charity is giving of yourself without expecting anything in return. It is also helping people, without passing judgement, that bring a lot of their problems on themselves. I suspect that your life is enriched at least as much, if not more, than those you are helping.

Good thread. I used to work at some shelters too and my heart went out to many there, even the ones that were getting over on the system. I never felt I could judge them either as who knew when I could be in their place too.
I really should get back into the practice of working in shelters as it did me more good than I ever offered there.
I'm blessed by my upbringing and some hard work of my own through the years but am thankful everyday for what I have.

John

Like you I have been generously blessed all my life (not retiring anytime soon). Thanks for prompting me to stop and appreciate it.

Being rich has very little to do with money. Sort of reminds me of Jimmy Doolittle's book title, "I Could Never Be So Lucky Again".

Jesus wasn't much on money either.

That's a very Christian thing to do John...you're a better man than I. We've been trying to balance the desire to do good with the knowledge of having been taken advantage of previously. We're currently carrying a small bag of groceries in the car that we can give to the homeless when possible.

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Rick, W0FG
CTR2 68-72

I assume the average age on this site is a lot less here than my almost 70. I was raised in centeral wisconsin in the 40s and 50s. No big citys in that area so possibly I could have got a false impression. I dont remember ever seeing a panhandler in those days. There may have been a incident or two of a bum passing through knocking on your door offering to chop wood or work for a meal. I had no experiance even seeing a panhandeler untill I came west in the 60s. When I lived in california I reconised some of the same panhandlers for a generation! I mean they worked the same area for over 10 years and better!
I have went both ways on the deal. At times I belittled and refused them, and at other times I have taken them in resturants and ate with them. I have taken them to a cheap motel and paid their rooms for a few days in advance, but overall, I have many more times refused them
any money. I guess I went by my sences of beliveability and snap judgement. I have blew up at a few.
I have had 12 year old kids ask me for money in stores that were well dressed like they expected it to buy a toy or snacks! I belive that made me even madder than older poorer bums that seemed to really need help.
Once I was entering a coffee shop for a chat with friends. A older black woman asked me for gas money so she could go pick up her chillen at school. I gave her a few bucks and silently observed she seemed old to have school age kids. My buddy saw me give her money as he waited inside for me. He asked about it than roared with laughter saying, "Ya dang fool, there aint no school open today, this is memorial day!
Once I was starting to leave my house and a lincoln mark pulled up in front. This older black guy got out, walked straight up to me and was crying. I come here to tell ya my wife died this morning! Well I am sorry to hear that, but I dont even know any black women, are ya looking for sombody else that knows her? No, she told me she had talked to you about a week ago and that yo wuz a nice christian man. ( I faintly rememberd a black woman walking by and trying to engage me in conversation about that time frame.) I had been set up! Then he asked me if he could come in my house and me pray for him! I yet hadnt put his game together, and being a christian, what do you do? I said okay, let him in and prayed with him. Then he proceeded to tell me how he had to take his kids to san diego to his sister for a week or so untill the funneral was over but didnt have gas money. He explained he was about 25 years older than his wife and they had young kids.
I said I would loan him $200 to make the trip. About 4 days later here he came again and told me he hadnt forgot the loan and was going to get some more money up to go to a pawn shop to get out his new browning 380 that his wife bought new last christmas and he never fired, and that when he bailed it out he was gonna sell it and pay me back.
Of course when he was to my house the first time he no doubt seen numerous gun magazines and books!
Larcaney took over. I had earlier once owned the same gun and knew the value. Tell ya what I will do. Heres another $100s. Go get that gun bailed out, bring it ta me, and we will square the deal.
I am still waiting for my browning .380!

So many in need and so many good charities trying to help it’s hard for a regular Joe/Jane to decide where to try and help. I donate what I can to Remote Area Medical, they provide free dental and eye care to those in need, right here in the USA. The Lovely and Charming donates a like amount to Doctors Without Boarders.

Bless each and everyone of you who give what you can when you can.

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Always Stay Strong!

John,

You are a good man, may God continue to Bless You for these things that you do to help others......

John,

I hope you don't mind but I'm going to use your story in my Sunday School class this morning. It's an adult fellowship-type class consisting of members who are all very active, particularly in our feeding ministry. As I tell them, you find examples and stories of God's work everywhere and I found your story on this forum.

Thank you and God Bless.

Paladin85020 has written a soul-searching post and I've carefully read every post x 2; food for thought. Although I find my heart/soul in agreement w/his generous and caring philosophy, my eyes see (and my memory records) some people that just take advantage of an altruist. My final take on this post aligns w/rburg's thoughts and observations. When I see an upright person that can walk/talk (mostly males) on an off-ramp or anywhere begging for $, you can imagine the questions that go thru my mind and the minds of many others. I will not underwrite laziness- period. (Forgive me, Lord). I generously donate/contribute to those that are TEMPORARILY down/out, infirmed and the young that cannot fend for themselves. I do volunteer work and I do not apologize for my positions outlined above. gr
The 'dagger in the heart' -for me- was when I saw a beggar leave his 'post', walk around the corner over to his SUV and drive away......His girlfriend was waiting.