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Old 09-09-2011, 11:49 AM
snub56 snub56 is offline
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Default Something to think about

Anyone out there ever had to deal with a situation where a relative should not be driving any more ? I was thinking about how I would handle the same situation with firearms any thoughts?
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:59 AM
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wheelgun28 wheelgun28 is offline
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I had a grandmother who kept driving. She was almost legally blind and suffered from dimension!!

She had several small accidents side swiped the side of her house and took out the entire side of her car. She hit a few other cars and yet no one could stop here from driving. The state would not take away her license. Her doctors said that she should not drive but would not give a letter to the DMV to cancel her privileges. They were afraid of being sued and said as much!

Eventually one doctor did step up and write the letter and DMV took away the license, it took a long time. By this time she was so bad that she wound up needing full time care soon after.

If I had to do it over, Id drain the oil from the cars engine disconnect the oil light, and let the car die...

Flat tires wont do it to easy to have fixed...
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:59 AM
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G.T. Smith G.T. Smith is offline
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Us kids were lucky, and when my Mom got to where she couldn't see well enough to drive (85) then, she just sold her car, so we didn't have to handle the situation with firearms. She would probably shoot back anyways.
better have that checked
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:31 PM
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Marshwheeling Marshwheeling is offline
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Anyone who lives long enough will reach a point where he should no longer drive. With my mother, it was vascular dementia, exacerbated by a brain tumor. She could drive ok, but would get lost and didn't know where she was. We took he keys away, and in a short time was in assisted living, followed by a nursing home.

My father once said to me, "Son, I would like to be permitted to die like my father did, peacefully, in his sleep... and not crying and screaming, like his passengers." At the time, I hadn't heard that one before. He really had me going.
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Old 09-09-2011, 12:55 PM
Joe in SC Joe in SC is offline
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Man, that's a tough one if I'm reading you right. I was in a friendship 10-12 years ago with a older man (in his late seventies to his early eighties) who loved firearms. He became unsafe with his gun handling and I mentioned it to him a time or two with no good result.

One day soon afterward we were shooting with a mutual friend on the elderly gents little range. I had given the mutual friend a heads up on the situation so he could help me watch. Sure enough the old guy cocked the hammer back on his model 36 snub and with his finger on the trigger reached up with both hands and adjusted his hearing muffs. We both cringed thinking he could very well blow his own brains out any moment.

That was the last time we shot with him. We stopped what we were doing and brought this to his attention. To say the least, we were not well received and it hurt our non-shooting friendship with the old sport.

He stopped contacting us and was not warm as usual anymore when we visited. Eventually we stopped visiting and calling all together because of this. Sad situation.

He died of natural causes about 6 years ago and for this I was grateful. Not for the loss, but because of the natural causes rather than him hurting himself or someone else. I understand he continued to shoot for a while. I guess he found others to shoot with him.

I wish things could have turned out better. I regret losing him as a friend over this. Perhaps there was a better, more effective way to handle it. I don't know what it would have been.

We did speak with his only daughter and informed her of the situation. As far as I know she was of no help in convincing him to stop. Neither was his wife as she became cold to us as well.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you it's possible to lose a friend in this manner. Perhaps someone else can suggest a softer, easier way. Good luck.
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Old 09-09-2011, 01:23 PM
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That's a tough call. I'm assuming that we are talking about an elderly relative here. It's hard to give up something you've done all your life especially when it will likely be perceived as being more more step on the way to the grave.
However, you would not be doing the person a favor by not mentioning your concerns. If you do address the issue you may initially want to do it in a one-on-one manner, if only to spare them some embarrassment. At the very least it sounds like he, or she, needs a "range buddy" if they want to continue shooting.
Best of luck.
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Old 09-09-2011, 01:55 PM
ancient-one ancient-one is offline
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I am 86 years old. I have had two accidents, one in about 1947 when a drunk ran a stop sign and the other about 3 years ago when a 20 year gal with one of those huge 7-11 drink cups blocking her vision made a left turn in front of me. She told the police she didn't even see me. I had one traffic warning ticket in 1946. Never had a regular traffic ticket although I know a few were due.
I hope that I know when the time comes to stop driving. If not, my daughter, who rides with me quite often has instructions to take my keys whether I protest or not. We had a problem with my mother as she was losing her eyesight. She lived in a very small town with little traffic and it took a long time to convince her( had about reached the taking her keys point) to give it up. She finally let me sell her car but it was hard for her to accept.
My wife had to quit driving in 1996 after a stroke slowed her reflexes and took her ability to know her location, even when she was in a location she had been acquainted with. It was very hard for her to accept that she could no longer drive but she knew there was no other choice.
When you lose your ability to drive, you in a sense lose you freedom and that is a tough pill to swallow for anyone.
Graydon L. Persing
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Old 09-09-2011, 03:19 PM
Sled_Dog Sled_Dog is offline
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My grandmother was living alone and driving around for years. Then it seemed she got into a few fender benders in the space of a few months, nothing serious but sort of thoughtless. It was soon after that we took the keys and moved her in with us. It was really difficult. She felt like she was being caged up, forced to give up her freedom, and could be searing with words.
It was the right call, she was diagnosed with alzheimers soon after, but it was tough for her to make the change, and accordingly tough on us too.
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Old 09-09-2011, 03:28 PM
Jst1mr Jst1mr is offline
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When my Dad was going downhill fast due to Parkinson's, the time came when the driving had to stop. Now, my Dad drove truck for over thirty years and could drive anything with wheels - I just sat down with him and explained the situation. Ultimately he understood, though I knew he saw it as an indicator of his decline. I considered sneaking the guns out of the house, but figured I owed him the dignity of being told what I was doing and why.
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Old 09-09-2011, 06:44 PM
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monet61 monet61 is offline
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Yes we did and it was , in our case, a miserable, family shredding experiance. It worked itself out, but it was awful.
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:29 PM
judge judge is offline
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The State that issues the license to drive has the responsibility to "test" drivers every year if necessary. Anyone above 75 should be tested every year - eye test, reaction test, and possible road test. Don't tell me it cost to much - if the money is not there, raise the cost of the license to cover the cost. 99% of the senior population will never admit there is a problem, until it is too late. Don't leave it up to the family to make the decision.
Martin Co,FLA(finally made it)
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Old 09-09-2011, 07:43 PM
oldman45 oldman45 is offline
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My mother was 72 and getting lost, making turns from the wrong lane and had two minor accidents withing a couple weeks. I decided something had to be done so I spoke with a friend of mine that I had worked with on the local PD.

He came to her house and asked for her drivers license while telling her that her driving was not safe and people were worried. She let him have them and later he gave them to me.

I then took her car and let my 17 yr old daughter have it so she could take her grandmother places to get her out of the house.

My mother never missed the car and never had any hard feelings about not being able to drive. Six months later I had to place her in an assisted living home where she remained for three years before passing away.
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sig arms, snubnose

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