Attacked by a "range lizard" today. EEEK!
- Thread starter Peter M. Eick
- Start date
Range lizards are seldom attracted to me, but on the rare occasion they try and attack I just ignore them until they get bored and go bother someone else. In the rare case they are not out of my personal zone in less than 90 seconds, I break out the FULL charge .357 ammo and crank off a quick 6 rounds. If the sound does not get them the shockwave will.
GatorFarmer
Member
Just launch into a British accent and go on about how that was the gun that you had with you in Paraguay "when the spiders came". Then start mumbling about "the mines" and how they "were the size of dinner plates" and "ate Tom's face, just ate it right off they did!".
If they haven't left by that point, start talking about your time in a third world prison "Do you know what happens to a fine looking boy like me in an Iranian prison?" followed up by "A fine looking fellow like you wouldn't have lasted a day in those cells" and "Fancy a bit of the rough trade do ya?".
People either leave or else you get to adlib very interested conversations.
Takes a bit to perfect a quasi Brit gangster/cockney/Aussie/mutant with Tourette's syndrome accent. Worth the effort though.
If they haven't left by that point, start talking about your time in a third world prison "Do you know what happens to a fine looking boy like me in an Iranian prison?" followed up by "A fine looking fellow like you wouldn't have lasted a day in those cells" and "Fancy a bit of the rough trade do ya?".
People either leave or else you get to adlib very interested conversations.
Takes a bit to perfect a quasi Brit gangster/cockney/Aussie/mutant with Tourette's syndrome accent. Worth the effort though.
LVSteve
Member
Hey, I resemble that remark, and some of it is not fake! Not saying which part, though.
My accent usually brings, "But I thought Brits did not like guns?" I then have to explain that it is the British government does not like us having guns. Then they see what artillery I am shooting, usually some gnarly milsurp in a fullhouse caliber or a FAL and say, "Err, yeah. I think I see why" and leave.
G.T. Smith
US Veteran
A range lizard is just another lizard, only it's on a range. I used to know a welding lizard. I worked in the tooling department of a military contractor as a certified welder. Sometimes I would wind up trying to machine something on a bridgeport, or drilling holes. I'm not a machinist, OK? This guy would come around, I think he was a material handler, and say "what you might do", then proceed to give me detailed instructions. Irritating to say the least. I don't think I was the only person he enlightened around there. Sometimes you can simply go into a blank stare at them and they'll leave.
Ya gotta feel kinda sorry for a fellow like that though. God bless their little hearts. God bless us all for that matter!
gordon
Ya gotta feel kinda sorry for a fellow like that though. God bless their little hearts. God bless us all for that matter!
gordon
computeruser
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Ah, that guy. Back when I had more disposable income than is presently the case, I spent lots of time at the range with friends, each of us toting in couple guns, ammo cans and all that each time we went. The usually lizards came running, offering their input, commentary, and whatnot. I cannot tell you the number of times the Lizards critiqued my then daily carry 1911 - which magazine I should have been running instead, what modifications it needed, etc. The fact that it had >14k rounds through it at the time with only 3 FTF (and from off-hand limp-wristing, at that) in those first 14k rounds AND consistently put rounds where I asked it to tended to tell me that it didn't need anything done to it. But they knew best, and were more than willing to opine!
An incredible thing happened a couple years back, though. I got into the vintage S&W thing, after years of "business-only" guns. The lizards still come around, but take a look at the hardware, and either wander off or stand back, shut up, and watch. The well-worn M28 with the smooth, no-bark stag grips (thanks, Executioner!) produces the most dramatic response - they stand, stare, and it looks like they can't make sense of what they're looking. It's kinda comical, actually.
It takes all kinds, I guess. At least they're not off breeding when they're at the range getting their lizard on. Last thing we need is a whole bunch of lizard jrs mucking the world up further.
An incredible thing happened a couple years back, though. I got into the vintage S&W thing, after years of "business-only" guns. The lizards still come around, but take a look at the hardware, and either wander off or stand back, shut up, and watch. The well-worn M28 with the smooth, no-bark stag grips (thanks, Executioner!) produces the most dramatic response - they stand, stare, and it looks like they can't make sense of what they're looking. It's kinda comical, actually.
It takes all kinds, I guess. At least they're not off breeding when they're at the range getting their lizard on. Last thing we need is a whole bunch of lizard jrs mucking the world up further.
VAdoublegunner
Member
Range lizards can be fun sport. I like to keep some special handloads, 357s with lots of Blue Dot, to shoot out of my 2 1/4" SP101 DAO carry gun. It handles them quite well, and practice has made me able to shoot really decent groups with it. The concussion wave, blast and flash usually discourages the range lizards after I shoot a group then them ask them if they'd like to show me their technique with it so I can see what I'm doing wrong. Not too many takers, though...spoils all the fun.
I do like when they offer to let me try their Glocks, "the world's best handgun". I usually decline then go into a rambling story about how a 40 blew off half a friend's face. It's also fun to practice a good solid limp wrist technique so you can get their 'always goes bang' pet to stovepipe. "Wow, that never happens!" "Yeah ... something might have broken or something. That last shot felt funny."
I do like when they offer to let me try their Glocks, "the world's best handgun". I usually decline then go into a rambling story about how a 40 blew off half a friend's face. It's also fun to practice a good solid limp wrist technique so you can get their 'always goes bang' pet to stovepipe. "Wow, that never happens!" "Yeah ... something might have broken or something. That last shot felt funny."
Andy Griffith
Member
I had one do that to me last year. Got me a bit ruffled- as I like shooting by myself and sometimes a select group of people that I know well.
A range lizard hollered at me to keep my finger out of the triggerguard of my model K-22 Magnum... while I was shooting it.
I then pulled my two mini-revolver without triggerguards out and proceeded to use them for the remainder of the range session. I now bring the snub-nosed .500 and shoot off a few rounds first when range lizards start to peek- it keeps them at least two or three stations down.
My blackpowder stuff does the same- especially the Husqvarna loaded with full house 12ga blackpowder loads- I told one range lizard that the residue from my shooting would rust his guns...he left. 
A range lizard hollered at me to keep my finger out of the triggerguard of my model K-22 Magnum... while I was shooting it.
I then pulled my two mini-revolver without triggerguards out and proceeded to use them for the remainder of the range session. I now bring the snub-nosed .500 and shoot off a few rounds first when range lizards start to peek- it keeps them at least two or three stations down.
My blackpowder stuff does the same- especially the Husqvarna loaded with full house 12ga blackpowder loads- I told one range lizard that the residue from my shooting would rust his guns...he left. 
imjin138
US Veteran
We had one at Shooter's who was a regular, every once in awhile we would give him a 15 yard penalty. That would put him out the front doors for the day.
His main thing was his handloads, how his .30 Carbine handloads would be accurate to about 1000 yards. Then it was the blue helmets, he and his girlfriend practiced shooting their CZ 52s in gas masks.
Though we thought about it we never gave him the Pete Rose ban.
His main thing was his handloads, how his .30 Carbine handloads would be accurate to about 1000 yards. Then it was the blue helmets, he and his girlfriend practiced shooting their CZ 52s in gas masks.
Though we thought about it we never gave him the Pete Rose ban.
My wife said "Watch who you call 'sleezy' Buster."
I don't have many people come around to offer advice. I shoot so poorly even they know I can't be helped.
I have run into them from time to time at the gun store. I practice my steely eyed glare in mirror, and do my best Clint Eastwood impersonation and growl "I didn't ask you what you think." When you're a big, fat redneck with a beard, that one seems to work wonders.
I always thought they were called "RATS"
Range Rats.
We have lots of real lizards and big lizards (Gators)
Range Rats.
We have lots of real lizards and big lizards (Gators)
Frank237
Absent Comrade
Rural living is both a blessing and at other times a bit of a curse as well. I can count the number of times I've been at a Public Range on one hand. Between the backyard Range or the 6 miles away Quarry...I usually shoot ALONE.
Could NOT imagine having to put up with some of the characters from these posts!
Entertaining stories though.
FN in MT
Could NOT imagine having to put up with some of the characters from these posts!
Entertaining stories though.
FN in MT
m657
Member
quite civil of you actually, OP!
re: "Things like heavy gravity spots affecting the bullets flight, ballistic demons, the effect of the earths magnetic poles on accuracy at 15 yards, compressed powdered polymer bullets etc etc. They will think you are crazy and soon go away."
good gambit.....I take such opportunity to launch into my own spiel involving the various theories of the "Stealth Bullet Shooting Society". Besides gravinometric anomalies, there's the existential/subatomic particle physics of "irresistible force meeting unmovable object" argument, going through without leaving a hole, etc.
One of my favorites is "my special moss bullets have been designed to not leave marks or make annoying sounds" when striking the steel targets.
Sometimes I follow them back to their own bay and continue offering a (purposefully) badly distorted version of the **** they were just laying on me. But that doesn't happen very often....maybe once a decade for such an opportunity.
We've got a large range with many bays, and I usually go during the lesser used hours....my most enjoyable time, before the heat of the day, the prevailing winds or the range lizards show up.
re: "Things like heavy gravity spots affecting the bullets flight, ballistic demons, the effect of the earths magnetic poles on accuracy at 15 yards, compressed powdered polymer bullets etc etc. They will think you are crazy and soon go away."
good gambit.....I take such opportunity to launch into my own spiel involving the various theories of the "Stealth Bullet Shooting Society". Besides gravinometric anomalies, there's the existential/subatomic particle physics of "irresistible force meeting unmovable object" argument, going through without leaving a hole, etc.
One of my favorites is "my special moss bullets have been designed to not leave marks or make annoying sounds" when striking the steel targets.
Sometimes I follow them back to their own bay and continue offering a (purposefully) badly distorted version of the **** they were just laying on me. But that doesn't happen very often....maybe once a decade for such an opportunity.
We've got a large range with many bays, and I usually go during the lesser used hours....my most enjoyable time, before the heat of the day, the prevailing winds or the range lizards show up.
I've got an infestation of "range lizards" at the range closest to my house.....3 old geezers complete with a coffe pot on a 12vAC/DC car adapter....I've had a range permit from the sheriffs office for nearly 25 years for this particular location....Badge #27....Without fail before I can get my foot out of the truck and onto the ground, one of the lizards asks me if "I've got my range badge with me b/c he needs to see it"......as if somehow he has some sort of authority...So finally the other day I retorted sure do you got yours I need to see it...he whips his out and i quickly note the badge # of 11,347.
I firmly believe that it is the job of some people to just tick others off...................
I firmly believe that it is the job of some people to just tick others off...................
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You obviously forgot-
You have to allow for the rotation of the earth if shooting due north or due south. The allowance varies with latitude and air density.
and
Bullets rise more on hot days due to the air rising.
and
You need harder alloys for high velocity cause the increased air friction can make them melt if they are too soft.
squidsix
Member
The wife got an uninvited bag of "advice" on her pistol shooting from a guy making shotgun-like patterns at 25M with his AR-15 with ten pounds of **** hanging off it. She proceeded to shoot another few clover-leafs at the same distance with a Model 41. She came home and told me about it, and I looked at her targets and went back into self-pity mode about my own shooting.
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pff
Member
Years ago on the rifle range I seemed to attract kibitzers for some reason. I'd be concentrating on testing match loads (I shot highpower at the time) and some sweeb would wanna yakk about the 'funny lookin' scope' (Unertl) or wonder why I had such a big barrel and ugly stock. For such occasions I had a Springfield with a barrel cut to 18" and would fire a few of my 600 yard loads from it. A 190gr Matchking with a max charge of 4350. Observers reported the tin on the range shed visibly moved when I fired. Since earmuffs were not common at the time it didn't take them long to leave.
Nowadays at the indoor range I frequent they pretty much leave me alone but I have been known to leave a particularly good target hanging where the Grockster in the next lane (you know them....all the latest brand-named ninja gear and maybe 50% hits on the paper at 5 yards) can see it.
Then there are the pure accidents, like this one:
Would that I could do that on purpose!
Regards,
Pat
Nowadays at the indoor range I frequent they pretty much leave me alone but I have been known to leave a particularly good target hanging where the Grockster in the next lane (you know them....all the latest brand-named ninja gear and maybe 50% hits on the paper at 5 yards) can see it.
Then there are the pure accidents, like this one:
Would that I could do that on purpose!
Regards,
Pat
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williamlayton
Member
I guess I belong to a different kind of range. There is an awful lot of visiting that goes on at mine.
Course I generally go during the week and its not crowded and most of us are old retired ***'s. Its all coffee shop talk--some bragging--always a medical cry--some poking fun.
I could see us being called range lizzards. I think we would own up to it.
I guess we are just odd old folks.
Blessings
Course I generally go during the week and its not crowded and most of us are old retired ***'s. Its all coffee shop talk--some bragging--always a medical cry--some poking fun.
I could see us being called range lizzards. I think we would own up to it.
I guess we are just odd old folks.
Blessings
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