I was minding my own business today at the public range just trying to get my double action trigger finger working again. It has been 2 months overseas since I shot a gun so I am out of practice.

So, working away at the 15 yrd range with a 1950 K22 Masterpiece and up walks a "range lizard". First I know he is telling me that I should use the joint of my finger and not the pad. Next he tells me I need to use something bigger than just a 22. And then he tells me I should get something more modern if I want to get good.

At this point I put my gun down and tell him that I remember him. 2 years ago he tried to tell me that a Colt Trooper was better than my Registered Magnum and that my sig 210's were not as well built as a Glock. I said at that point I figured you were an idiot but now you have confirmed it. He seemed surprised that I remembered his stupid statement so I added, that I do remember it because it had to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard someone say about shooting.

So next I said, since you are so willing to critique my targets lets look at yours. He was on the 10 yrd range and shooting about a 6" pattern with 12 shots. He only shoots about 6 shots then finds a victim to talk to. I normally shoot 50 shots per target at 15 or 25 yrds and while today was not my best, I was keeping them within 3" and the bulk in a inch. At this point I said, if you talked less, concentrated more and spent more time behind the gun instead of telling others how they could do it, you might actually become a decent shot. At that point I went back and reloaded and kept shooting. He on the other hand just stood there while I racked my 6 and reloaded. After a few moments he moved on and found another victim.

I don't like being rude but the guy goes around and gives some of the crappiest advice I have ever heard and says some just plain stupid things. He has been on our range for years and I just try and avoid him. Normally I have a 357 Maximum or a 357 Magnum that I can cut loose some full power loads and that would drive him away, but today I was easing into shooting again.

So have you all ever been attacked by a "range lizard" and how do you get rid of him?

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SWCA 1646

I can't recall ever being attacked by a range lizard, but if I am, I will probably use similar words. I think you handled him appropriately. Glock better than Sig? And Colt Trooper better than Registered Magnum? He doesn't know his guns...just keep avoiding him and shoot - it will be good practice to be able to drown out non-sense while you shoot. B

I don't go to ranges for that reason, among many others. No range, No"range Lizards"

De Oppresso Liber

We have one at our Izaak Walton range but he is in the pitiful category. He comes out with some beat up old gun which has often been "improved" by him on the kitchen table. He doesn't criticize anyone's shooting. He wants to talk about all his medical problems......if it's all true he's a walking miracle to be alive. None of us want to be rude but he's like glue and you can't get any shooting in.

I salute they way you handled your lizard.

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Bob.
SWCA 1821

You just try to be nice to them and agree with everything they say. Range lizards are on the endangered specis list. You don't want to get the EPA, Dept. of Interior and Fish & Wildlife down on you. It helps to come up with some far out, unbelievable theories on ballistics, reloading, shooting tips to expound on to the lizard. Things like heavy gravity spots affecting the bullets flight, ballistic demons, the effect of the earths magnetic poles on accuracy at 15 yards, compressed powdered polymer bullets etc etc. They will think you are crazy and soon go away.

I've even seen them "hosting a class" telling a novice, petite woman how to shoot his .44 mag (Surely this .44 is impressing her) as her first shooting experience. Some peoples kids........ I swear, you just want to tell them to go back home and work on their professional video game playing skills and get off the range. Please remind these people that there are usually self-help and tactful human-relations classes or courses at most libraries.

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Go big or stay home

I haven't had it happen at a range, but I have had it happen to me in gun shops (obviously I wasn't firing!) I have been looking at a particular model, and I have had people ask me why I want it (scornfully...if they were asking for information, I would be glad to explain); I have had people tell me I shouldn't buy a certain caliber (I was once looking at a SIG in 9mm, and I had a uniformed police officer come up to me and tell me that I should only buy a SIG in .357!) There have been other incidents...and usually the gun shop employees just look at me with an embarrassed shrug, as if to say "they can't really insult a customer." I did see the owner of one shop tell a person to leave his shop and not come back, for that sort of thing...he wasn't bothering me, but approaching female customers offering "advice."

I have a personal quirk in that I like to be left alone...if I need advice or help, I'll ask for it. Now, if someone saw me about to make a fatal mistake, I'd hope they would approach me, but otherwise, unless I indicate I need some help, I just want to be left alone.

I don't like people on my lawn, either...

It's easy to tell someone to buy a .357 Sig when you get your ammo for free.

Honest, the only times any one has ever said anything to me at the range went like this:

"Was that your gun?" Said to me after my Lorcin 380 blew apart and the slide, barrel, and recoil spring flew out into the range. This was many years ago and the day I learned to buy quality firearms.

"Great shooting man" Same range, different guy. Shooting at 10 yards with a Dan Wesson .357 firing .38's. I put six rounds in the bullseye ring. Only time I ever did it, normally I'm not a very good shot, but it couldn't have happened to me at a better time. I didn't even take a chance of messing it up, I just packed up and left.

I think you handled the situation rather well. You asked to see his targets, which showed his ability was lacking compared to yours. And then went about your business, ignoring his. You did the right thing, in my opinion.

You called it fine. He sounds like the self professed expert type that would post a video of him shooting himself in the leg trying to "instruct" everyone else with his awsomeness.

Out here we sometimes have proper range lizards with teeth. Some just look on with indifference.

Attached Images

	ColLiz01.jpg (68.3 KB, 76 views)
	HornLiz01.jpg (58.6 KB, 80 views)

Eat plenty of garlic the night before or morning of a range visit. Works on vampires too.

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James Redfield
LM #497

I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting a range lizard, though I have seen them approach other guys on the line. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I don't radiate sociability when I am shooting, and nobody wants to approach an old guy with a scowl and a warbag full of blued revolvers that nobody recognizes.



Or maybe it's because nobody wants to get near a guy that looks a little like Dick Cheney while he has a gun in his hand.

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David Wilson

Dont have run-ins with range lizards since I do pretty much all of my shooting in the back forty.

But I have had run-ins with gunshop lizards. I love the ones who brag about how they reload their rifle ammo a couple grains heavier that recommended and how because of their superior reloading prowess cut their trajectory drop by half at 600 yards.

Also are the ones who think the caliber they hunt deer with is THE BEST EVER and if you happen to like/use something else you are a fool....

I say unless you are going to give me a rifle in the caliber you love sooooo much, leave me alone. Know-it-alls are cute, arent they??

I usually pull out the 22 revolver (an Arminius) I learned to shoot with 30 years ago and proceed to put all 8 rounds, off hand into an area the size of a playing card at 10 yards as fast as I can pull the trigger. Muscle memory is a great thing.

I'm lucky. My range is mostly occupied by old men who just want to talk about guns and trade trigger time with their guns for yours vice versa. The gun store I shop at has a great old retired SGM for an owner who will run people out of the store for, among other reasons, being annoying, being a know it all, tampering/disassembling the guns, trying to buy high cap magazines while wearing an Obama t-shirt (my personal favorite), or just otherwise grating on his nerves. I hang out there for that reason a lone.

Now those are proper range lizards! Nice pics. How did you mount your camera on your gun?

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Isaiah 55:8-9
Phil. 4:13

I usually go in the middle of the day, on Wednesday. There tends to be fewer shooters at that time, and that reduces the probability of being accosted by such "range lizards."

I try to keep a low profile and usually, no one bothers me. However, when I shoot my 460 XVR (long barrel), it's impossible to keep a low profile, and that's when such range lizards come over.

Was that YOU?!?!?!
I wanna tell ya- you really hurt my feelings!

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

I'd rather go shooting with you than go for a car ride with someone that looks like Ted Kennedy!

Range lizards are seldom attracted to me, but on the rare occasion they try and attack I just ignore them until they get bored and go bother someone else. In the rare case they are not out of my personal zone in less than 90 seconds, I break out the FULL charge .357 ammo and crank off a quick 6 rounds. If the sound does not get them the shockwave will.

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Always Stay Strong!

Just launch into a British accent and go on about how that was the gun that you had with you in Paraguay "when the spiders came". Then start mumbling about "the mines" and how they "were the size of dinner plates" and "ate Tom's face, just ate it right off they did!".

If they haven't left by that point, start talking about your time in a third world prison "Do you know what happens to a fine looking boy like me in an Iranian prison?" followed up by "A fine looking fellow like you wouldn't have lasted a day in those cells" and "Fancy a bit of the rough trade do ya?".

People either leave or else you get to adlib very interested conversations.

Takes a bit to perfect a quasi Brit gangster/cockney/Aussie/mutant with Tourette's syndrome accent. Worth the effort though.

Hey, I resemble that remark, and some of it is not fake! Not saying which part, though.

My accent usually brings, "But I thought Brits did not like guns?" I then have to explain that it is the British government does not like us having guns. Then they see what artillery I am shooting, usually some gnarly milsurp in a fullhouse caliber or a FAL and say, "Err, yeah. I think I see why" and leave.

A range lizard is just another lizard, only it's on a range. I used to know a welding lizard. I worked in the tooling department of a military contractor as a certified welder. Sometimes I would wind up trying to machine something on a bridgeport, or drilling holes. I'm not a machinist, OK? This guy would come around, I think he was a material handler, and say "what you might do", then proceed to give me detailed instructions. Irritating to say the least. I don't think I was the only person he enlightened around there. Sometimes you can simply go into a blank stare at them and they'll leave.
Ya gotta feel kinda sorry for a fellow like that though. God bless their little hearts. God bless us all for that matter!
gordon

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better have that checked

Ah, that guy. Back when I had more disposable income than is presently the case, I spent lots of time at the range with friends, each of us toting in couple guns, ammo cans and all that each time we went. The usually lizards came running, offering their input, commentary, and whatnot. I cannot tell you the number of times the Lizards critiqued my then daily carry 1911 - which magazine I should have been running instead, what modifications it needed, etc. The fact that it had >14k rounds through it at the time with only 3 FTF (and from off-hand limp-wristing, at that) in those first 14k rounds AND consistently put rounds where I asked it to tended to tell me that it didn't need anything done to it. But they knew best, and were more than willing to opine!

An incredible thing happened a couple years back, though. I got into the vintage S&W thing, after years of "business-only" guns. The lizards still come around, but take a look at the hardware, and either wander off or stand back, shut up, and watch. The well-worn M28 with the smooth, no-bark stag grips (thanks, Executioner!) produces the most dramatic response - they stand, stare, and it looks like they can't make sense of what they're looking. It's kinda comical, actually.

It takes all kinds, I guess. At least they're not off breeding when they're at the range getting their lizard on. Last thing we need is a whole bunch of lizard jrs mucking the world up further.

Range lizards can be fun sport. I like to keep some special handloads, 357s with lots of Blue Dot, to shoot out of my 2 1/4" SP101 DAO carry gun. It handles them quite well, and practice has made me able to shoot really decent groups with it. The concussion wave, blast and flash usually discourages the range lizards after I shoot a group then them ask them if they'd like to show me their technique with it so I can see what I'm doing wrong. Not too many takers, though...spoils all the fun.

I do like when they offer to let me try their Glocks, "the world's best handgun". I usually decline then go into a rambling story about how a 40 blew off half a friend's face. It's also fun to practice a good solid limp wrist technique so you can get their 'always goes bang' pet to stovepipe. "Wow, that never happens!" "Yeah ... something might have broken or something. That last shot felt funny."

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" I said, good DAY! "

The terminology confused me. I was wondering what range(s) had resident sleezy women.

I had one do that to me last year. Got me a bit ruffled- as I like shooting by myself and sometimes a select group of people that I know well.

A range lizard hollered at me to keep my finger out of the triggerguard of my model K-22 Magnum... while I was shooting it.

I then pulled my two mini-revolver without triggerguards out and proceeded to use them for the remainder of the range session. I now bring the snub-nosed .500 and shoot off a few rounds first when range lizards start to peek- it keeps them at least two or three stations down. My blackpowder stuff does the same- especially the Husqvarna loaded with full house 12ga blackpowder loads- I told one range lizard that the residue from my shooting would rust his guns...he left.

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Lost it all in a boat accident

We had one at Shooter's who was a regular, every once in awhile we would give him a 15 yard penalty. That would put him out the front doors for the day.

His main thing was his handloads, how his .30 Carbine handloads would be accurate to about 1000 yards. Then it was the blue helmets, he and his girlfriend practiced shooting their CZ 52s in gas masks.

Though we thought about it we never gave him the Pete Rose ban.

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Stan

My wife said "Watch who you call 'sleezy' Buster."

I don't have many people come around to offer advice. I shoot so poorly even they know I can't be helped.

I have run into them from time to time at the gun store. I practice my steely eyed glare in mirror, and do my best Clint Eastwood impersonation and growl "I didn't ask you what you think." When you're a big, fat redneck with a beard, that one seems to work wonders.

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John 3:16 .

I always thought they were called "RATS"

Range Rats.

We have lots of real lizards and big lizards (Gators)

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Still Running Against the Wind

Rural living is both a blessing and at other times a bit of a curse as well. I can count the number of times I've been at a Public Range on one hand. Between the backyard Range or the 6 miles away Quarry...I usually shoot ALONE.

Could NOT imagine having to put up with some of the characters from these posts!

Entertaining stories though.

FN in MT

quite civil of you actually, OP!

re: "Things like heavy gravity spots affecting the bullets flight, ballistic demons, the effect of the earths magnetic poles on accuracy at 15 yards, compressed powdered polymer bullets etc etc. They will think you are crazy and soon go away."

good gambit.....I take such opportunity to launch into my own spiel involving the various theories of the "Stealth Bullet Shooting Society". Besides gravinometric anomalies, there's the existential/subatomic particle physics of "irresistible force meeting unmovable object" argument, going through without leaving a hole, etc.

One of my favorites is "my special moss bullets have been designed to not leave marks or make annoying sounds" when striking the steel targets.

Sometimes I follow them back to their own bay and continue offering a (purposefully) badly distorted version of the **** they were just laying on me. But that doesn't happen very often....maybe once a decade for such an opportunity.

We've got a large range with many bays, and I usually go during the lesser used hours....my most enjoyable time, before the heat of the day, the prevailing winds or the range lizards show up.

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Dum vivimus Vivamas

I've got an infestation of "range lizards" at the range closest to my house.....3 old geezers complete with a coffe pot on a 12vAC/DC car adapter....I've had a range permit from the sheriffs office for nearly 25 years for this particular location....Badge #27....Without fail before I can get my foot out of the truck and onto the ground, one of the lizards asks me if "I've got my range badge with me b/c he needs to see it"......as if somehow he has some sort of authority...So finally the other day I retorted sure do you got yours I need to see it...he whips his out and i quickly note the badge # of 11,347.
I firmly believe that it is the job of some people to just tick others off...................

You obviously forgot-
You have to allow for the rotation of the earth if shooting due north or due south. The allowance varies with latitude and air density.

and

Bullets rise more on hot days due to the air rising.

and

You need harder alloys for high velocity cause the increased air friction can make them melt if they are too soft.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

The wife got an uninvited bag of "advice" on her pistol shooting from a guy making shotgun-like patterns at 25M with his AR-15 with ten pounds of **** hanging off it. She proceeded to shoot another few clover-leafs at the same distance with a Model 41. She came home and told me about it, and I looked at her targets and went back into self-pity mode about my own shooting.

I see that Mr. Eick, the OP does not suffer fools lightly.

I understand, I truly understand.

Rule 303

Years ago on the rifle range I seemed to attract kibitzers for some reason. I'd be concentrating on testing match loads (I shot highpower at the time) and some sweeb would wanna yakk about the 'funny lookin' scope' (Unertl) or wonder why I had such a big barrel and ugly stock. For such occasions I had a Springfield with a barrel cut to 18" and would fire a few of my 600 yard loads from it. A 190gr Matchking with a max charge of 4350. Observers reported the tin on the range shed visibly moved when I fired. Since earmuffs were not common at the time it didn't take them long to leave.

Nowadays at the indoor range I frequent they pretty much leave me alone but I have been known to leave a particularly good target hanging where the Grockster in the next lane (you know them....all the latest brand-named ninja gear and maybe 50% hits on the paper at 5 yards) can see it.

Then there are the pure accidents, like this one:



Would that I could do that on purpose!


Regards,

Pat

I guess I belong to a different kind of range. There is an awful lot of visiting that goes on at mine.
Course I generally go during the week and its not crowded and most of us are old retired ***'s. Its all coffee shop talk--some bragging--always a medical cry--some poking fun.
I could see us being called range lizzards. I think we would own up to it.
I guess we are just odd old folks.
Blessings

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TEXAS, by GOD

I resemble that remark!


Regards,

Pat

There is a huge difference between range "lizards" and old curmudgeons just having a good time.

The difference is, one is enjoyable, the other is not.

From now on, when someone does this to me, I'm only going to use one of two phrases: "scram" and "get lost."

Amazing what honesty can do.

Now, that we have that out of the way...a spot of tea is in order.

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Lost it all in a boat accident

Another approach is simply to say "Thanks for your opinion" and then turn your back on the lizard. Unless he is really dense he'll get the message.

I wasn't there but a friend relates how he dealt with a RL. He started firing downrange and yelling, "There you *****, take that", and "**** with my wife will ya", etc. He turned to the RL and said "I hate people who bug me", at which point the RL walked away and never bothered him again.

At the local indoor range, the only people who criticize my choice in firearms are the jerks behind the counter. It's one of those "If you didn't buy it here, it's junk" places. I've pretty much stopped going there.

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Insert short witty words here

Sounds like he came from the Colt and Glock Forums.

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Wayne
Torn & Frayed

Sure sounds like this is a "breed" instead of a one off. I did not realize how prevalent the species was!

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SWCA 1646

Range lizards rarely bug me, as a 6ft 1in, 300+lb Sioux Indian with an Israeli FAL in one hand, and a 28-2HP in a Webley flap holster on his hip, and a scowl, doesn't look like he wants to chat much...


I did have a run-in with a different creature, a "brass buzzard". This is the guy who makes a move for your brass, never asking for it, and often making a move for the brass WHILE I'M STILL SHOOTING. I once had a S&W Sigma 40F(one of the few of the breed that seemed to work every time)and there was a guy who kept scooping up my brass. I told him to quit and he would, but as soon as I started shooting he'd grab for my brass. I laid..... well, tossed, my Sigma onto the bench, turned to him and barked, " LEAVE MY BRASS WHERE IT LAYS!!!!", along with a glare that burned holes in him. He swallowed once, dropped my brass on the ground, and then walked back to his lane and got my other brass that he'd grabbed earlier, and then set it down in front of my bench. He then left the range....




Idiot...


I don't reload and would gladly have given him all of the .40 brass if he'd asked for it.

"Taste like chicken"

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NRA Certified Instructor

The private club I belong to has been in existance for just over 50 years. There are still 2 or three charter members who stop by at regular intervals to chew the fat or actually do a bit of shooting.

These guys are old time bulleye shooters and they love to tell us kids about the good old days. About how the would only chip the paint of the back stop in about a 6" circle at 50'.

Two of them are WWII veterans. One was, I think, a gunners mate on the USS Neveda. He joined the ship after Pearl Harbor during it's refit and repair on the west coast during 1942. he fought with his ship in three oceans.

The place wouldn't be the same with out them. I haven't noticed many RL among the members and that's a good thing. While we may offer an opinion or suggestion from time to time it is generally requested by the shooter.

God gave us 2 eyes, 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. It has been my observation that people generally are able to learn nothing by using their mouth. Eyes and ears on the other hand come in handy for this purpose.

LTC