I had a phone call from the mother of my best friend. Mickey and I were like brothers since grade school. He and I enlisted together and served in Viet Nam. He was severely wounded over there and became a disabled veteran. In 2005 he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When the pain became unbearable, and the meds quit working, Mickey took his life with a handgun.

His mother, at age eighty-six, is moving into a retirement home and there are some things she can’t take. The gun, a Colt Trooper .357, is one of those things. She asked if I would like to have it.

I’m not a superstitious person and yes, I would like to have another old Colt wheel gun, yet I do not want to own “that” gun. My wife says to stop being irrational, just take the gun and keep it or sell it. I don’t think I can do either. I know that this may sound silly but I don’t want to own or sell a gun with that kind of baggage attached to it.

i'll pay the shipping and transfer if you dont want it?

Guns don't have motives, regrets, or baggage.

I understand it will always be the gun he used, but it will never be the gun that killed him.

Take the gun and treasure it on behalf of your friend. Don't let it wind up in some strangers house.

I can understand your dilema its a tough call. It did help your friend end things on his own terms. Keeping it I can understand selling it I can't.

I feel that you would be helping an old friends mom by taking the gun. Its a problem for her and it seems that she doesnt need more of them right now.

I can understand the feeling toward that gun, but its just a thing.

Take it, sell it or take it apart and go deep sea fishing then drop it over the side in pieces.

Id say just help the lady out as her son cannot

Hold your breath, pinch your nose and do it, have a cocktail later...

I feel with good friends, friendship doesn't stop at death

Many guns would have a similar stigma if we knew their complete history. In my opinion, by the facts stated by the OP, the taking of his life was not a dishonorable act.

If you can't accept that, take the gun and trade it off to someone for one you want. Call that "his" gun and take it as a gift from your friend.

Just my thoughts.

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

The gun was simply a tool that ended your friends suffering. In my opinion it was not used for a evil purpose but for the purpose of mercy.At the end your buddy probably saw the pistol as a good thing, a hell of alot quicker than an overdose of Morphine. If I was faced with the choice of dying in excruciating pain with no possible way to relieve that pain I would probably chose the same path.I saw my Mother and Brother both die from doctor induced morphine overdoses, trust me regardless of what the quacks tell you it’s bad, real bad.
Penmon

I'd take it ... it would be the last thing my friend touched.

under such circumstances, personally I'd be honored to accept it as a 'ceremonial' piece...the baggage would be *mine* and I'd find a way to celebrate the memory of a comrade in arms and brother-in-life. That the mother thinks enough to give the option to take it, would help me move beyond the reluctance to focus on one event in the life & times of my friend...

cheers in making your choice

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Dum vivimus Vivamas

I would take the gun and offer to pay her fair market value .. thats my 2c.

Take it. As others have said, what he did was not dishonorable. I've known of people who were in the final stages of cancer and were told by the doctor not to take too many pain pills at one time when what the doctor was basically saying is when the pain gets too great, overdose. While it was just a movie it is relevant, Jimmy Stewart to John Wayne after describing the final stages of pain from cancer, "If I had your courage, I would not die a death like that." Your friend had courage. Take the weapon and if nothing else, put it up simply to keep anyone else from dishonoring the pistol.

CW

Sorry to hear your faced with this dilema. If the revolver is being offered to you, and if you think taking it from the Lady would help her out and helping her out is what you feel is the real goal then by all means. After it's yours you can do as you wish with it. Sell it, keep it or if it would make you feel better destroy it. The laws are different where I am at. Suicide is still considered a crime and the police would have confiscated the revolver. Good luck with your descision.

Suicide guns pop up from time to time, as do questions about them. Often the only indication of a used gun having been used in a suicide comes from the distinctive wear to the blued surfaces caused by laying in a pool of blood.

Anyway, it wouldn't bother me. For all I know the 95/30 Schutze rifle in the closet was used by the Einsatzgruppen and the old 91/30 could have been used by NKVD firing squads.

I would take it, but insist on paying her for it.
It is just a piece of blue steel. Personally, I can easily understand a stigma associated with a person or organization, but not to an object.
If it really bothers you, take it and sell it, then give the money from the sale to your friend`s mother.

I would take it. It obviously has sentimental value to your old friends mother or she would have disposed of it years ago. Instead, she kept it, cherished it and now wants to pass it on to you, someone who knew and loved her son like she did. Certainly not baggage in my opinion but rather quite an honor that she would bless you with her request.

Take the gun.

Sell it.

Use the money this Christmas to buy some presents for a few kids on the oncology floor of your local hospital.

I am sure the nurses know which parents don't have money to spare.

A win/win solution.

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Life Member NRA Since 1985

I'd take it and honor his memory with it. He made his choice on his terms. The gun was a tool and not the cause. I'd take it out shooting and remember some good times you had with him. He would probably like that. He'd be happy that you understood his choice. JMO and deepest sympathies for your lost friend. Thanks for his service and Godspeed to him..............

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Go big or stay home

I would accept it then sell it or use it for a gun buy back program. Then donate the funds to a local charity in your friends name.

Great post, I agree 100%.

Take the revolver.

I would Never sell it.

Been there done that. A dear friend of mine in Great Falls did the same thing with a S&W M59. His folks gave it back to me as it was originally mine that he was buying and only made one payment. Still have it.

Take it, pay the lady if she'll take it and honor your friend for his courage.

Rule 303

I have the gun that one of my brothers used to commit suicide back in Sept. of 2004.
The way I look at it is that the gun didn't do anything, my brother did.......

Suicide is actually a crime, and in Ohio I know it DID and I don't know if it still does requires THE DESTRUCTION of the firearm.

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NRA Pistol/Rifle Inst. RSO

Im sure your friend would rather you have it than someone else. If you get too spooked by having it you could always sell it later.

You don't feel easy about excepting the gun and I can understand that. Why not go with the mother and gun to a gun shop and make sure she gets a decent price for it and do what she may with the money.

Well said, I would concur.

I owned a nice Model 18 that had peculiar blueing loss on the barrel and part of the frame. Gun was perfect, except for this. The blueing was non-existent in these areas...down to bare metal. It was as if something (like blood?) had been splattered on it and allowed to sit. The seller couldn't explain it. I had it reblued and it looked fantastic, but something about that gun bothered me...I didn't know the history. I sold it. Personally, I wouldn't own a "suicide" gun...it would give me the willies. But, I think that you should help your friend's elderly Mom out.

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'Merica!

Guns are not capable of emotion or feelings. The gun did not convince it's former owner to take his life, circumstances did. I would treasure a memento from a friend.

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Front sight and squeeze

I suggest you take off your friend's mothers hands then sell it or keep it if you did decide to keep you can look at and member your friend's good points not the bad stuff.

I owned a Model 57 that good friends brother used to end his life. It helped the family that I bought it, and it ended up in a good home. It was a fine weapon, and eventually I sold it to another friend. I would do her a favor and buy it from her, and if she refuses the money then donate the amount to cancer research in your friends name. He should be remembered with honor.
BTW, one of my stepsons recently took his own life by hanging himself. He was troubled and lost his way. I do not blame the rope....

You have been offered a lot of advice, Kelly Green.

I offer you a wish for Peace with your decision.

MR. Green, sir you have answered your own question, and for what it's worth I agree with you 100%. Unless it would really hurt your friends mother politely decline the offer.

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Always Stay Strong!

Take the gun, put it away. Take it out ever so often and remember the good times with your friend.

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Proverbs 14:7

No different that getting a milsurp, IMHO. Does anyone object to buying an Axis or Combloc milsurp on the grounds that it might have been used against us or our allies?

take the gun.
sure, you know where its been, and thats exactly why you should take it.
no other man on this Earth will ever understand its history as you do.
It didnt kill your friend. The cancer and the complications that came with it did. That colt gave him peace. Long before he pulled the trigger, he viewed it as an option, a choice. Having that choice gave him some comfort.

after all, his mother seems to have been able to hold onto it, thus finding some resolution. so can you

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it just needs more voltage

I seem to be in the minority, but I would not want it. I wouldn't even want to handle it.

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This...is my BOOMSTICK

your friends mother asked you to take it. take and either pay her for it or donate the value of it to cancer research. as was said earlier,keep it and take it out once in a while to remember the good times you had with your friend. all the gun did was end your friends' suffering.

I understand where you're coming from, but doesn't a part of you want the gun because of what it was used to do? It could be a reminder of your buddy, kept under glass as a collectors piece. I know I wouldn't want anyone else to have it. If he was like a brother, I would kind of want it to myself. I know it may be morbid and I'm not trying to be insensitive to your feelings toward your buddy, but it is something that your buddy owned and now you can take care of it.

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Tim Montoya

I was going to come back and say something about how the gun that my brother used to "do the deed" makes me feel but the above quote sums it up pretty accurately.....

Every time I hold or use the gun I feel a closeness to my brother that is hard to explain. I don't think of what he did with the gun, but of all the things that we used to do together and it's almost as if he's there with me. That may make some feel spooked, but it gives me a deep sense of peace and reassurance, like he's still watching over his little brother........me

My oldest brother passed away a couple of weeks ago and since my Dad is also gone these connections & memories are about all I have left. Like my sister-in-law said at the recent Funeral, "You're the last man standing."

Yes.

Whether I wanted the gun or wanted nothing to do with it would not matter. The mother of my passed best friend asked-- that's what matters. I would go get the gun and have a nice long chat with her remembering all the good times with her son. It ain't abouth the gun... It ain't about you.

I have to admit it would be a little different to own a gun like that BUT. I have now the rifle that my wifes grandfather used to end his life many years ago back in the 1970s. I see it also as a tool not why it was used. I would take the gun and keep it just because it would bring back so many good memories of a friendship that lasted. Just my humble opinion.

Take the gun. If it doesn't work out, I can recommend a good shrink.

I collect WWll pistols so I imagine more than one that I own may have a jaded history to it. But to me, they were unknowns. Your case is different.
I can appreciate your feelings since it was a friend.
Do what you feel is right and don't look back.

This is the best advice you are likely to get. Keep the gun as a remembrance of your friend.

David

I noticed that only a few responders were veterans, and that maybe only you and I are Viet Nam Veterans, I don't know. But I do know that that does make all of the difference in a case such as this. There is a whole different set of thoughts and feelings with us. I have names on that Black Wall, as we all do, and no matter how much progress I have made, there is still survivors guilt attached to them, and every vet that didn't make it, and even those that did. We have a tendancy to get tunnel vision with situations like this that confront us-and we feel compelled to do something, even regarding things like this as a threat. I would suggest that you get in touch with how this affects YOU, and not what you could do or should do, and especcially not what someone else thinks you should do. We're the ones that have the intrusive thoughts, and all of the rest on a daily basis. If you choose, someone from the VFW or whatever could collect the gun and put it on GB, donating the procedes to help vets-whatever-you would not have to be directly involved, and still help your buddy's mom-bless her heart. I would bet that your friend would want you to get as much peace in this life as you can-so do what will bring that. And, oh yea, without Jesus, the Prince of Peace, I wouldn't even be here to write this to you. Welcome home Brother.

I'm not clear why we are talking about this, given your feelings.

Your feelings are valid- you can feel any way you want to about the gun. People have different feelings about suicide guns. Anything you feel about this one is OK with me.


BUT,
I'm not clear on a major point here-
Was it offered as a gift?
Could she use the money, and offered to sell it?
Does she just want "to be shed of it"?

In my opinion, which is worth everything you are paying me for it, you're done unless the Old Lady needs your assistance or the money. If she needs either, I'd feel obligated to resolve the situation for her. If she simply needs it out of her life, do the dirty deed ANY way you are comfortable. Go by the closest gun shop and take the first offer. If she needs the money, work a little harder at it, or kick in some of yours.

Peace be upon you any way you go.

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For the record, I see a few responses here that apall me.
I won't delete them.
The ones who made them can keep flying their true colors.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

that right there is you, and who you are talking... it's a tough one man, i'd recommend that you go with your gut rather than rationalize yourself into something that doesn't fit you.

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Let brotherly love continue

Never having been in that situation, I don't know what I would do. Maybe you could sell it for her and give her the proceeds.

Listen to your wife, take the pistol as a remembrance of a dear departed friend and the trials of his life.

On the one hand, I agree with this sentiment. Or, since the gun is clearly quite valuable to a collector or shooter (who would have no connection to its history), help her get the best price for it and use the money to buy herself something nice she can take to the nursing home with her.

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LEO since 1981.