I'm not an expert, but I do play one at work. Around the office I'm known as a gun guru and reloading prodigy. I can't honestly say that I had nothing to do with these misconceptions. Heck, I may even have contributed to 'em. I regularly hold seminars and lectures around the coffee pot, and at times, even field questions from the audience.
Last Thursday as I was holding court around the old Bunn, Fred made an inquiry as to what gun related associations I might be a member of. Not many I told him...but I was a proud member of the NRA. While I was replying to Fred, as luck would have it, Agnes Mae walked by. NRA to her meant National Restling Alliance. (Spelling is not Agnes Mae's strong suit.) She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me.
"You a member of the NRA? For real?"
"Yep", I replied with some importance.
"You ever meet the Great Bolo?", she asked.
That's when Benny Earl jumped in.
"Great Bolo my butt", he said. "He can't hold no candle to Hulk Hogan."
And that was the opening bell for round one. Agnes Mae had yet to see anyone she admired more than the Great Bolo and she wasn't about to let anyone disparage him.
Benny Earl never saw Agnes Mae's purse coming. It caught him square on his noggin'. He went down like a ton of bricks, with Agnes Mae right on top. She had him in a head lock and was yelling, "Holler nuff".
When Benny Earl fell, he had unfortunately knocked the coffee pot off of the hot plate. Coffee spilled all over an electrical outlet box and sparks began to fly. The office lights went off and momentarily the emergency lighting came on...'bout the same time as the sprinkler system and the fire alarm started going off.
In the dim glow of the emergency lights, I saw security coming around the corner...pepper spray in one hand and a taser in the other. In all the confusion, I slipped away and hid in the men's room. I didn't come out until I heard the fire department arrive and evacuate the building.
I called in sick Friday.....probably will again on Monday.
The Expert
Larry
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