Happy Mothers' Day Aunt Lillian

[ikor]

I called my mom last evening to wish her an (early) Happy Mothers' Day and she informed me of the passing of my Aunt Lillian.

Here in the deep southern US we have a custom that we call close family friends 'Uncle' and 'Aunt' as a term of endearment and older ladies and gentlemen we may not know as well the same out of respect. Thus Aunt Lillian was not actually kin to me but was one of my mother's closest friends for many decades.

Maybe it is fitting that she passed on the eve of Mothers' Day, since she raised three fine boys full time and several of us other neighborhood children such as my sis and I, part time. You see back then she did not work but was a full time 'home maker' I believe they call it today. (How anyone ever came to the conclusion that being a full time mom, babysitter, cook, laundry lady, housekeeper, chaueffer, tutor, kid fight referee, bandage putter-oner AND a wife who could turn out looking very nice, and attractive thank you if called upon, is not 'work' I will never know.)

I know it will astonish many younger readers, but there was once a time when, from age 6 or so, you got yourself to school and back home via kid power unless the weather was horrible. That means you either walked or rode your bicycle. Kids were expected to stay the Hell out of the house and do things like play together until supper time unless you were sick or had lots of homework, which 6-10 year olds never had back then.

Aunt Lillian's house and large yard just sorta naturally became the neighborhood playground for many of us. When I say 'neighborhood' I mean a 1950's post WWII neighborhood in a small rural town where farming was the mainstay and where woods, creeks and other things were very close at hand just down the hill or a couple hundred yards behind your house, so we were in no way 'city kids' hemmed in by concrete and steel, but we also did not live on farms either (many of our contemporary friends did however).

We did all the things that kids do when you leave them alone mostly and just gently monitor them. We climbed trees, played marbles, baseball, cowboys and indians, doctor (:-) fought, made up and became friends, you name it. There were also girls there...a couple who could catch, pitch, hit a baseball hard and were pretty nasty customers in a fight too, but for the most part us boys did not associate with girls at that age. Later, of course, it was all different.

The playground / yard was patrolled by Aunt Lillian's long coat German Shepherd Fritz. In retrospect I imagine he was around 80lb but to us he looked as big as a house. He kept any stray dogs off the property, would help search for lost balls, and if a kid fight began to get too far out of hand he would step in and growl low but loud enough for all to hear. In dog language that was him saying...'OK boys, that is quite enough...break it up' Since we had all seen him do the 'kick *** / take names' thing with numerous dogs who dared challenge him on his own turf (no leash laws back then guys...any dog that became a real menace was shot by someone's father out of hand after the owner...everybody knew whose dog it was...had been notified face to face to keep his dog up and failed to) you did not ignore ol' Fritz when he did that.

Later I figured out that, what with no AC for most places back then, and a couple of windows with a good view, Aunt Lillan had been able to do a good job of keeping tabs on what was happening with us via those open windows, but back then we thought she had freakin' magic powers!

After my dad and her husband passed away, she and my mom became sorta 'running buddies', shopping, visiting and such together often. She was able to get my mom out of the house and to 'exotic' places she would never have seen if not for Aunt Lillian's insistence...Washington State, the Cascades, Canada and other places. She would also take a drink now and then and even managed to get my teetotaling mom to enjoy wine...and that is amazing if you know my mom!

Sadly, about three years ago Aunt Lillian began to come down with early stage Alzheimers. It progressed until her sons...none of whom live close...were forced to put her in a home for her own safety. She got progressively worse until she could not even recognize her sons, grand kids or my mom. She passed from this world yesterday, but she left us a long time ago. I must admit that after one visit I never went to see her in that Godawful 'Home' again. I just could not stand to see the beautiful, vivacious, intelligent lady, mother and aunt I had known literally all my life brought to such as that. I much prefer to remember her as she was for virtually the entire rest of the time I knew her.

She lost a brother in WWII...fighter pilot and her favorite brother in her words...buried a husband, sent a son off to war and saw him safe back home, was a mother. aunt to many others, worked as a Sheriff's Matron for a while after her boys were grown and gone, raised three fine boys, one who owns a Limo Service in a major city, one who is a lawyer and one who is a retired US Army SF Col. with a second career now. None of them ever sat on their asses and expected free handouts...they just buckled down and got the job done.

So Happy Mothers' Day, Aunt Lillian. You have been an inspiration to many many others. I wish you nothing but fair winds and following seas on you new journey, and I sure hope ol' Fritz is waiting at the Rainbow Bridge to escort you across along with Uncle Bud. The past three years sucked, but the 82 that preceeded them were very good indeed. I celebrate your life rather than mourn your death, and if I am a lucky man, I will see you again somewhere down the road.

Rest in Peace and God Bless