So, we worked out in the yard yesterday. I taught him how to use the lawn tractor and he's getting pretty good. (YES!!!) We get snacky and head into the house and he brings over a package of Girl Scout cookies (the peanut butter and chocolate ones) and asks if we can have these. Sure. There are 15 in the package. I eat 5 or 6, he eats the rest.

Grandma gets home from work and the little **** runs up to her and says "Grandpa ate cookies for lunch and I had an apple!"

I'm out front right now setting boobytraps!

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

So you taught him to lie-so what. Years ago, when my nephew was 3 or so and picking up words, I had him in the back seat going to get something for a family dinner at my inlaws. Well, some guy cut me off and of course I yelled an invective at him which is customarily referred to here as "alpha hotel" Well the nephew picked it up right away (it does roll off the tongue nicely with a stout first sylable and a good crisp finish), and all he could say for the rest of the afternoon was that word.
I blamed it on my brother in law

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Forum consigliere

Must have been his other grandpa.

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

That's a funny story. Kids are tricky little devils (I have three boys).

Dog turds make good booby traps, if you have dogs. Send him outside after it gets dark and have him pick them up for you.

Sounds like the Bill Cosby routine when he made chocolate cake for breakfast. Like he said it has flour, milk, eggs what could be wrong. He was the hero until his wife returned and the kids told her dad made them eat cake.

Forget the booby traps ... Get yourself a scary clown mask, go into his room in the middle of the night, get nose to nose with him and start shaking him awake. When he opens his eyes, yell "Don't you ever lie again!" then run back out, shutting the light as you exit. Act like nothing happened when you hear him yelling for grandpap to save him from the Boogie Man.

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I'm with the banned ...

You sir, are truly sick and twisted, and by God I love it.

I see a future for this young person in politics.

Or as a lawyer, heaven forbid

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

Maybe I should teach him how to play the piano.............

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

Caje's alpha hotel story reminds me of the time I sent my boys back to the US to spend a month or so with relatives at the beach. My second son was maybe four or so, and I get a call that he is in trouble with everyone because when the adults were at dinner he came to the screen door and shouted the common word for excrement at the top of his lungs, discombobulating everyone.

So I ask, "Well, did anyone ask him why he shouted that?" The answer was that his cousin, a young rascal of similar age, had hit him in the head with a shovel!

I said, "Well, I am sorry for the language, but that reaction is not unreasonable given the circumstances!"

Come to think of it, the l'l rascal with the shovel just graduated UVA law school and has a job with a high end DC lawfirm....Probably make a great lawyer!

I grew up with a very swear oriented father but he bnever used the "f" bomb around my brother or I. To this day I still won't utter it. I am used to hearing it as it is the most used word in the military and to tell the truth I am sick of it.

Several years ago, my sister was riding around with a female friend of hers, with the friend's 3-year old son in the back, strapped into his carseat. Someone cut them off at an intersection, and when she honked at him, he stopped, glared at her, and gave her the finger. That allowed the little one in the back seat time to pop the buckle on his carseat, fling off the restraints, lunge over to the window, push the button and run it down, then stick his head out the window as the offending car passed by. He screamed "You Dipstick!" (or something a little more offensive) as the other driver gaped, then he clambered back across the seat, flopped into his carseat, and buckled himself back in. Both women were left speechless, but then my sister's friend simply said, "He rides with Daddy a lot."

Kids learn what they hear..........but the cuss words tend to come first.

an apple for lunch??........have grandma check the garbage pail.......no apple core.......the kid is busted......

Jim;
Your Grandson is an "Angel". I have a 19 year old grandson sitting in the county slammer for various offenses, like drug posession, car theft, high-speed police chases. (Do you want me to go on)? He learned this all from his "outlaw mother". Yes, he's going to be doing some Prison time, sad to say. Oh well, one out of six grandkids in jail isn't doing to bad ! !






T.L.R.

I wouldn't trade him for all the gold in the world.

I WILL go look for a scary clown mask.

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

Jim ...

Evil Clowns Masks

$30 plus shipping will get you the most honest grandson in the country.

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I'm with the banned ...

My wife started watching what she said about thirty-five years ago. She was pushing a shopping cart through the commissary at Fort Knox, KY, when my lovely little two-year-old blonde daughter started pointing at stuff and, at the top of her lungs, saying, "Sh!-!-!-!-!t! Mommy, sh!-!-!-!-!t!" She came home mortified and told me what had happened, expecting, I don't know, sympathy I guess. I was laughing so hard I never even felt her hitting me.

ECS

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CPT, Armor (Ret)
Luke 22:36

mc5aw;
Man your going to scar that kid for life. Lets hope he does not fall into the legal profession, cus if he does you will be the first on a long list of his many victims.

I still love the idea though.

Workin in the shop today.

Trying to cut a lit'l leather...Grandson's piddlin around and finds some hi-density black rubber like foam.

"Hey Paw, cut me a gun outta this!"

Well I stop what I'm doing, thinkin I could whittle him a facsimile of a
J frame or a 1911, mabee a Single Action Army look-a-like.
I asked wells, what ya thinkin ya want?



He sez, "Ah, jest make me a Glock!"



Boy! We need to have a talk!


Su Amigo,
Dave

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"IN GOD WE TRUST"

I'll send you the clown mask when I'm done.

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

One morning My Grandson woke up early. I was already up having a second cup of coffee.
I asked Him if he wanted breakfast and he said "Yes, a bowl of chocolate ice cream and a Milky Way candy bar", which I gave Him.
Later when Grandmother and Mother woke up and came in the kitchen and discovered what Grandson had for breakfast---One would have thought that the world was ending riight outside the window.

You are a failure as a nutritionist but a remarkable grandfather.

How do you figure?

There ya have 2 of the 4 basic food groups
The ice cream group
And the candy bar group

Kid's too young for beer and maybe Jimmy already ate all of the pizza for his breakfast...

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In dog years I'm dead.

My Dad loved that story, so that's what his grandsons and I had for breakfast the day of his funeral.

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I need ammo, not a ride.