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09-08-2016, 06:02 AM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: S.Carolina
Posts: 1,903
Likes: 3,253
Liked 1,339 Times in 553 Posts
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Joke for today...only in Texas!!!!!!!
Enjoy,
An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor That if she wanted to live a long life the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of Gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.
She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five Great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
JIM...............
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SWCA # L-1911
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4011, CATI1835, Eltioloco, GKC, hpfenning, Isis1200L, Ivan the Butcher, JavierLaurido, jlrhiner, model70hunter, Muley Gil, OFT II, old bear, pawngal, perryhd, Roadtrash, Rock185, Rustyt1953, S&W Oldtimer, SAFireman, shouldazagged, snubbyfan, timn8er, Tom S., TX-Dennis, vonn, walkin jack, wbraswell, whitestang, YogiBear |
09-08-2016, 08:21 AM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Boise, Idaho
Posts: 8,002
Likes: 35,764
Liked 29,652 Times in 6,014 Posts
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I was doing a seminar in Texas years ago. At a break a Texan was
telling me about his ranch. I asked how big? He said well Son, if I
get up early and get in my car and drive all day long I might get to
the other side of my ranch by sundown. I replied I know what you
mean, I had a car like that once myself.
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In Omnia Paratus
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09-08-2016, 12:36 PM
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Absent Comrade
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Louisville, KY, USA
Posts: 19,336
Likes: 53,737
Liked 38,387 Times in 11,802 Posts
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A Texan is visiting friends in Buffalo, NY, and his host quickly gets really tired of the guy's bragging how everything is bigger and better in Texas.
He takes him to Niagara Fals and says, "Now, I bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!"
"Nope," says the Texan, "but there's a plumber in my home town who could fix it."
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Oh well, what the hell.
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09-08-2016, 10:24 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: HOUSTON, TEXAS
Posts: 10,183
Likes: 7,175
Liked 14,373 Times in 5,411 Posts
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Wealthy 80 year old Texan showed up at the BBQ with his pretty new 21 year old wife. Once the guys were together out of earshot they teased him saying "What did you do, lie about your age and say that you were 70?" He said, "No, I lied about my age and said that I was 90".
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