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Old 08-30-2012, 10:30 PM
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Default Johnny Carson

A long long time ago in the distant past, there was the Tonight Show hosted by a man named Johnny Carson

Never forget this one stint and still get a chuckle when I think of it.

Carnac the Magnificent

The answer is: FORMICA













The question: Who did the Riffleman do all his fighting for
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Old 08-30-2012, 10:48 PM
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Had to use google to get that joke!

I always think of the Arnold Palmer joke or the Ames tomahawk throw.
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Old 08-30-2012, 10:54 PM
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The Carnac skit really could be a side-splitter. I remember it well, particularly the incident with the special desk.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M29since14 View Post
The Carnac skit really could be a side-splitter. I remember it well, particularly the incident with the special desk.
There were many, give us the special desk one if you remember it. Please
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:04 PM
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My favorite will always be the show where Carson, Don Rickles, and Robert Blake actually sat on the stage floor with a bottle (or Three) of booze, got drunk and had a great time.
Unscripted, almost unedited, and one of the funniest episodes ever!
Blake broke the table they were using, Carson coudn't stand, and Rickles was at his finest.
They even chased McMahon off.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:17 PM
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Default The Copper Clapper Caper

I have always enjoyed this one with Jack Webb.
Copper Clappers - YouTube
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:22 PM
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We are the Carson's today? Class, funny, yet still a man's man, not a crass, biased, vindictive little weasels like we have today. We used to beat up little smart alecks like Leno, Conan and Kimmel, now they are role models?
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:24 PM
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As much as I like Jay Leno, NONE of these new guys including Leno can hold a candle to Johnny Carson. He was the best and there will never be another like him.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by labworm View Post
There were many, give us the special desk one if you remember it. Please
Well, it wasn't a joke that I can recite. You may recall that Carnac would always appear to trip or stumble as he made his way to Carson's desk. One evening the staff had a very convincing-looking desk made of balsawood and when Carnac did his usual stumbling routine and caught himself on the desk, it collapsed into a pile of splinters. This is just the sort of thing Carson was so good at maximizing. I laughed until tears rolled down my face. I guess you either liked the Carnac skit or you didn't. I thought it usually was hilarious. Don't recall ever seeing a bad one.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:25 PM
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I can't begin to remember all the Carson episodes that kept me laughing - and listening. I still miss that guy.

Jerry
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:29 PM
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Originally Posted by StatesRightist View Post
Where are the Carsons today?
Answer: None to be found. He, Ed, and Doc set the standard that others have never been able to equal, or even come close. Add Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason to that list, as far as I am concerned. And Victor Borge. Does anyone remember him?
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:37 PM
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:42 PM
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I've often heard the one about Zsa Zsa and the cat. Was that a myth or did it really happen?
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:46 PM
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I vaguely remember something along those lines, but I can't say anything for sure. Maybe someone else will know. My memory is so terrible any more sometimes I don't know whether I am "remembering," or "remembering fondly."

I can tell you with certainty I sure miss those guys. That's about all.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:48 PM
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Originally Posted by M29since14 View Post
Answer: None to be found. He, Ed, and Doc set the standard that others have never been able to equal, or even come close. Add Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason to that list, as far as I am concerned. And Victor Borge. Does anyone remember him?
What about Red Skelton, Jack Benny, and Jimmy Durante? I love to watch re-runs of Victor Borge on PBS. Pure classic comedy and he could play a mean piano too.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StatesRightist View Post
We are the Carson's today? Class, funny, yet still a man's man, not a crass, biased, vindictive little weasels like we have today. We used to beat up little smart alecks like Leno, Conan and Kimmel, now they are role models?
That is the problem with this country. The laws of God and nature are not observed. The strong survive has been shot down by Hollyweird and its' ways of "understanding and tolerance". Mens' men are a fast-dying breed of the past (very sorry to say). Now you have "metro-sexuals"..........
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M29since14 View Post
Answer: None to be found. He, Ed, and Doc set the standard that others have never been able to equal, or even come close. Add Bob Hope and Jackie Gleason to that list, as far as I am concerned. And Victor Borge. Does anyone remember him?
Amen, Hope was a classic, I miss him, he was also a humanitarian and Patriot. I still have to watch him on DVD at Christmas and remember the great holiday specials. Deano and Frank too.
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:53 PM
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Yes, they were all good. You forgot Steve Allen, and a few others too, I'm sure. Victor Borge was a special favorite. Does anyone remember his "phonetic punctuation" skit? When I think about what I see nowadays compared to what I saw as a young fellow, it makes me wonder...
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:54 PM
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Some of my favorite episodes had Buddy Rich. Carson, being a drummer himself, always set Buddy up for something. One time he had the stage hands fill Buddy's floor tom with milk. Buddy was in the middle of making his opening run and slammed the tom, losing his sticks and splattering milk all over the stage. After they recovered from laughing their collective donkeys off, he finished the tune. Classic stuff!
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:57 PM
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Default 'brown shoes'

Notice Dean flicking ashes into George Gobel's drink,
The World is a tuxedo and I'm a pair of brown shoes - YouTube
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:00 AM
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You guys, we're all showing our age. I'm going to sign off and head for the shower.

"Thanks, for the Memories"
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:45 AM
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Ah, Victor Borge.....great act. The funniest line I remember is at the beginning of his show while standing at his piano, "The Steinway Piano company has asked me to announce that this is a Baldwin piano."
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:47 AM
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I liked the Carnac where the answer was "Siss, boom, bah."

The question: "Describe the sound of a sheep exploding."

IMO, the departure of Carson from the Tonight Show was pretty much the final curtain on any semblence of intelligent pop culture.
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:54 AM
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It used to kill me when Carnac would predict an answer and McMahon would pause a second and repeat it, or his reactions when a joke would bomb.
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:59 AM
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Carson and Dom Deluise - The Egg Trick

Dom Deluise and Johnny Carson-The Egg Trick
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Old 08-31-2012, 01:14 AM
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Carson proved nightly that comedy doesn't have to be at someone else's expense or be mean spirited.
Late night hack Letterman couldn't tote Johnny's water (or scotch as it were)!
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Old 08-31-2012, 02:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigDaddy7972 View Post
As much as I like Jay Leno, NONE of these new guys including Leno can hold a candle to Johnny Carson. He was the best and there will never be another like him.
The greats are long gone and will never be replaced. No longer a Leno fan. Anti Gun Libs don't deserve my support. To bad, I did enjoy his car web site
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Old 08-31-2012, 02:41 AM
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Does anyone else remember the Carnac, gag when the staff put baby powder in the envelope?
Mr. Carson was one of the Greatest entertainers to ever appear on TV, when he and Buddy Hackett played off each other it was pure comic magic.
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Old 08-31-2012, 03:08 AM
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Someone mentioned Don Rickles and i believe
him to be the funniest guest ever on any show.
Never be another like him for sure.
Here's a few Carnac jokes i pulled off a website
about "Johnny Carson and Carnac jokes"
Answer: Touchback.
Question: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?

Answer: Yassir Arafat.
Question: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?

Answer: Catch-22.
Question: What do the Los Angeles Dodgers do with 100 pop flies.

Answer: Do-whacka-do.
Question: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?

Answer: Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan.
Question: Name two hockey players and a hockey puck

Chuck
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Old 08-31-2012, 03:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RonJ View Post
I've often heard the one about Zsa Zsa and the cat. Was that a myth or did it really happen?
If I remember correctly, it was Raquel Welch. I was about 15 at the time, and the hormones were raging back then.

Last edited by Skootertrash; 08-31-2012 at 03:24 AM.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:43 AM
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i used to lie awake at night, listening for him to come on if my parents were still up. i'd sneak out to the edge of the living room and watch. i was i big trouble if i got caught. after i got a tv in my room, i'd sneak it on and sit right by the speaker so i could hear. i gave leno a try for 2 or 3 shows in his first week. i haven't watched late night "talk shows" since
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:04 AM
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There was a classic Victor Borge punch line I will never forget. He could always get the audience in stitches with it. He would play a few bars of his standard-bearer (Clear the Saloon , aka Clair de lune) and then he would pause for a moment, as if he was thinking about something. He could time those pauses better than anyone. Then he could begin the story about the two ladies - mother and daughter ("One of them wanted to hear Clear the Saloon... and the other one didn't.") - and how everyone remarked that these ladies looked very much alike and how remarkable that was - it was hard to tell them apart!

"They both must have looked... very old."
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:26 AM
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Here is Carnac and the desk. Moment of Zen - Carnac the Magnificent - The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - 01/24/05 - Video Clip | Comedy Central

Johnny Carson had running gags, one of which was Wayne Newton. Finally Newton got tired of it and confronted Carson. He told Johnny "you're ruining my career". Carson stopped making jokes at Wayne Newton's expense.
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:29 AM
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Can't believe no one recited Eds role

"I hold in my hand the envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon today. No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your borderline divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers having never before seen the questions."

Carson was the best, he also was a good drummer, tennis player and magician. None of the late night show shows now even come close.
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:38 AM
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i especially liked the "Matinée Lady" and Art Fern, the "Tea Time Movie" announcer.

QUESTION.................

who wrote the "tonight show" theme song and who recorded a "version" of it....
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Old 08-31-2012, 11:43 AM
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I believe it was Paul Anka that wrote the Tonight Show theme song, but don't know who recorded a version of it.

Love Victor Borge and do recall his phonetic punctuation routine (you didn't want to sit on the first row). PBS will occasionally run some of his shows. The other good routine is when he accompanies the opera singer, poor girl. I'll never understand how she kept a straight face.
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Old 08-31-2012, 11:59 AM
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This is a good one, Johnny and Dolly Parton.

Johnny Carson's Famous Interview with Dolly Parton - 1980s - Video Dailymotion
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:24 PM
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Way back - about 1965 I think - I was in New York and got tickets to see the Carson show. The brain isn't what it used to be and I can't remember much except that he kept the audience in stitches. The one thing I do remember is when he was setting up for a commercial break. The sponsor was some sort of spray deodorant and he held up a can and sprayed it as he was saying something like "Here is what (brand x) deodorant can do for you." and the cameras were off while the commercial ran. Unfortunately he had been holding the spray can so the label would show but the nozzle was turned back at him and the spray went up his sleeve. It wasn't heard on the commercial, but the audience heard him say "blow your damn arm, off that's what it'll do."

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Old 08-31-2012, 01:26 PM
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Quatro Cinco







What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
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Old 08-31-2012, 01:43 PM
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Carson had some great lines. When Ed Ames asked if Carson wanted to try throwing the tomahawk and Carson replied, "No, I couldn't hurt him any worse than you did."

"Take the Slauson Cutoff, get out of the car, cut off your Slauson, get back in the car and drive.....

Or does anyone remember when Dean Martin came out about half in the bag and set his drink down on Carson's desk. Carson said I want to show viewers something. He picked up Martin's drink, thinking it was water and took a big gulp. Don't remember if it was vodka or gin but Carson turned a beautiful shade of red.

Someone mentioned Bob Hope. My dad used to tell a story about Hope doing a show he saw. He said Hope looked out, saw all the highest ranking officers down front and the further back, the lower the rank. Supposedly Hope refused to start the show until they reversed the seating with the privates in front and the generals were in the back. Don't know if it was true but I seem to remember all his shows on tv had enlisted men in the front.

CW
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Old 08-31-2012, 03:39 PM
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I always like Jonathan Winters, too. He would come on Carson as Maude Frickert. I wonder if they ever did a skit together with Johnny in his old lady character? I remember the wildest one I ever saw was Rose Marie, Rickles, and Don Adams, were there. Carson made a joke about Rose and she acted offended and her and all the guys, including Ed walked off together. Johnny sat there by himself acting silly, until he loosened his tie. Doc started playing stripper music and Carson started taking it off, down to his slacks. He sat back down and they all came back on stage with only Rose wearing a shirt. It was a scream.
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Old 08-31-2012, 04:46 PM
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Buddy Hackett was my favorite guest when Carson held sway. Many may not know it, but he was a first-class gun nut and had a great collection.

Last edited by ogilvyspecial; 08-31-2012 at 05:43 PM. Reason: Pol. bait
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:39 PM
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I loved the Carson show, expecially when Jim (I think that was his name) would bring animals on the show. Carson was a master at playing off the animals. I believed his reactions, but never knew how much of it was for the audiece's sake.
Letterman was alright when he first started following Carson. He had all kinds of obscure guests, and his quirkiness was a good contrast to Carson. Letterman quickly became old hat in my opinion.
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by BigDaddy7972 View Post
As much as I like Jay Leno, NONE of these new guys including Leno can hold a candle to Johnny Carson. He was the best and there will never be another like him.

THis is true, but in real life, he was a massive jerk. He was selfish, self centered, had a HUGE ego, and vindictive.

Nobody with a personality like his has real class.

He was the absolute best at what he did, but I wouldn't want to have lunch with him.

I would jump at the chance to have lunch with Jay Leno. I would even get the check.
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Old 09-01-2012, 01:44 AM
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Quote:
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I loved the Carson show, expecially when Jim (I think that was his name) would bring animals on the show. Carson was a master at playing off the animals. I believed his reactions, but never knew how much of it was for the audiece's sake.
Johnny was not amused when the Marmoset(Small Monkey) peed down the back of his neck..
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Old 09-01-2012, 10:26 AM
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Johnny was not amused when the Marmoset(Small Monkey) peed down the back of his neck..
Nor when the trick rooster took a dump on his desk. Anyone remember that? It was my favorite Carson moment.
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Old 09-01-2012, 11:22 AM
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Carson was the BEST!!! Hard to improve on the BEST.....
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Old 09-01-2012, 11:45 PM
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Carnac's answer was "El Paso", the question was what does a Mexican quarterback do when he dosen't choose el punto, or el runo.
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Old 09-02-2012, 01:37 AM
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I recall one time when Hackett was on. He proceeded to tell a terribly dirty joke, but managed to self edit well enough to get it past the censors. The last question and punch line:

"What is he taking for it?"

"Pepper...."
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Old 09-02-2012, 11:17 AM
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Johnny Carson was a bit player on The Steve Allen Show which Steve Allen did after he was the original Tonight Show host.
Carson and several others from The Steve Allen Show went on to be famous.
Other than Don Knotts, do you remember any?

P.S. Carnac was a version of Allen's *Answer Man* skit. Steve didn't wear a turban though
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