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  #1  
Old 09-08-2012, 01:36 AM
JOERM JOERM is offline
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Default Your funeral

I do not want to be burned up and have my ashes put in a quart jar. I also don't want my blood pumped out and replaced with some antifreeze. And,,,,I want a simple pine box that my aunt Beth had for her. I plan to go on line and get a design to build my own to fit my fat butt and save about $10k for my wife. In WA you don't have to be embalmed. Just have to hit the dirt within a day or two. I want a photo of my dogs inside and on top of my casket so I can see them, oh yea, my wife too.

Almost 60 so ........
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:44 AM
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I've decided and have made my wishes known
to family that i want to be cremated.
I'm 52 but noone is promised tommorow right?
I just figure this is the cheapest way to get rid
of a corpse. Told my best bud that if i go before
he does i want my ashes scattered in Montana.
I love that Country out there and that's where
i'd like to have my ashes go back into mother
earth.

Chuck
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Old 09-08-2012, 02:15 AM
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I told the kids to flush my ashes down the commode at the local beer joint, so I can follow my money.


Regards,

Pat
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Old 09-08-2012, 02:56 AM
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Default I will be reduced to ashes

and will be interned in the family plot. The prices for a burial are outrageous and for your heirs to absorb the cost is absurd. You are gone... anything after this is for their conscience.
YMMV
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:36 AM
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When she knew that things were not going well with her cancer treatment, my late wife made me promise that I would be buried beside her. I have made arrangements for that to happen.

My original plan was to be cremated a my ashes dropped from a B-52 over the Desert National Wildlife Range. I have some friends in the USAF who could probably have swung it and the way things are going the BUFF will still be in service when I die.
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:36 AM
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Even a simple cremation can still cost several hundred dollars. The simplest and cheapest method is to donate your body to science. Around here, you can make pre-arrangements with the University of Minnesota Memorial Society. At your call, couple of very respectful young men wearing tuxedo jackets over their khakis will come with a gurney to remove the body of the deceased. Several months later, you will receive a simple urn with the ashes.

Cost is absolutely nothing. Both my parents and their spouses chose this method. The funeral industry has made nothing off my family, and we were able to throw some pretty good memorial parties on what we saved.

I suppose it helps to have a medical school in the area.
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:39 AM
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One cremation, Five pounds of Tannerite, and a Keg for those attending.
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Old 09-08-2012, 07:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshwheeling View Post
Even a simple cremation can still cost several hundred dollars. The simplest and cheapest method is to donate your body to science. Around here, you can make pre-arrangements with the University of Minnesota Memorial Society. At your call, couple of very respectful young men wearing tuxedo jackets over their khakis will come with a gurney to remove the body of the deceased. Several months later, you will receive a simple urn with the ashes.

Cost is absolutely nothing. Both my parents and their spouses chose this method. The funeral industry has made nothing off my family, and we were able to throw some pretty good memorial parties on what we saved.

I suppose it helps to have a medical school in the area.
I've heard you still have to meet certain requirements. That strikes me as stupid, but I've heard it more than once. I've always heard there are never enough cadavers to go around, and the docs-to-be will have to deal with "fatties and freaks" out in the real world, so might as well learn to deal with them in school.
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Old 09-08-2012, 07:55 AM
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I favor a Viking funeral
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:01 AM
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When my mother passed away recently she was cremated (about $900) and buried at a state veteran's cemetary nearby. Mom and Dad are both veterans, but she still could have been buried there based only on Dad's service. There was no charge to the family for the grave, the stone or for the burial. Had we wished to, there was a chapel there where we could have had a memorial service. The crematorium delivered her ashes to the cemetary. I believe in NC, embalming is required unless cremation or burial is done within 24 hours of death.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:08 AM
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JOERM- You want your wife on your casket? How Mayan...

Several hundreds of dollars for a simple cremation? Try thousands.

Do like the idea of donating my body to medical science. Mom always wanted me to go to medical school. But if they don't want fat people I guess that leaves me out.

I told my wife to cremate me. My biggest fear is being burned so I will face it last. Creeped out at the thought of worms and bugs eating my corpse. Want to buried with my gi (karate uniform) folded with my belt on top. I was named after my father but I have never used Jr. in my name but will on my headstone.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:47 AM
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I favor a Viking funeral
We've been seeing one of those every other Sunday in Minneapolis.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:50 AM
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My brother was a retired professional skydiver who died prematurely at age 50 (not in an accident. His heart quit). He was cremated and his ashes strewn above Parris Airfield in a skydiver's funeral. His ashes were placed in a bag with a velcro closure that fits on the arm. The carrier was the center piece of a 30 way dive (consisting of friends from all over the world) in a concentric ring formation. The carrier released the ashes via a small explosive charge and Tommy's ashes formed a plume in the sky. Three layers of divers peeled off separately opening their chutes one ring at a time, leaving the carrier alone, chute closed. She spun and danced until the last second then opened her chute landing safely.

Beautiful, really. It was 5 years ago and my eyes tear up as I type.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:50 AM
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You do know about the "Body Farm"?
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:00 AM
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UT won't take you if you have a communicable disease (hepatitis, for example) - Their website doesn't mention ANY other disqualifying conditions (like being fat).

I figure that I'm not gonna care what *they* do with my dead body once I'm done with it. So why be concerned?

BTW - Your next of kin decides what to do with your carcass....
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:34 AM
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They can wrap me in saran wrap and throw me over the dump for all I care, it's not going to matter to me! But since that probably won't be allowed, I guess cremation and scatter the ashes over my land in Arizona.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:37 AM
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I told my wife I don't care what she does with me. Cheapest will be fine.
Just make sure I'm dead before they do it.
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Old 09-08-2012, 09:49 AM
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Default gone to the dogs...

It won't happen but I'd just as soon be buried out back with my two Labs that died...Luke in 1997 & Jesse in 2009.

If Jesse goes before I do then she'll be there too.

Jesse...

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Old 09-08-2012, 10:33 AM
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If it were legal, I would have my corpse propped up and tied into my treestand facing the rising sun; let "mother nature" dispose of me.
In reality, I have left instructions to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in the Gulf of Mexico, to join both of my parents.
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Old 09-08-2012, 10:41 AM
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This sounds good to me...
Prop me up beside the jukebox by Joe Diffie - YouTube
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Old 09-08-2012, 10:42 AM
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It doesn't matter to me what they do with my useless carcass.

I do hope that anyone who cares takes joy in how blessed I was and how much I enjoyed the life I was given.

Maybe they could toast my memory with a Martini or a good Bourbon.
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Old 09-08-2012, 10:45 AM
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I need to work on this. I have a paid for plot back home in wisconsin but it would cost a fortune to get me there. Besides I am married now. While I want the funneral cheap I dont want to be creamated.
Idealy, I would like to be buried like this guy. We were rideing quad near zion national park and found this grave overlooking it. Dont know what the legalitys are. It wasnt that long ago as I see he was a vietnam vet. Another nice touch I have seen is where some have had a picture of themselves sealed in the tombstone. I also have seen their likeness engraved in the stone. Now lets be truthful here. Many like to claim they dont care if we are rolled into the dump etc, but how many of you buried your pet with more respect than that?

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Old 09-08-2012, 11:09 AM
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Used to say that I wanted to be cremated and my ashes dumped in my old boss's gas tank or maybe put in a manure spreader after the morning barn cleaning but my wife would have none of that so I came up with something else. Cremation (no viewing beforehand), memorial service at my church -3 hymns- Twas in the Moon of Wintertime, a yet to be determined Christmas, and my favorite hymn, Eternal Father Strong to Save, and my ashes spread in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia.
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:13 AM
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If in Minnesota it will be the "University of Minnesota"

in Arizona it will be "Science Care"; (I like the idea that they include paramedics training such as practicising tracheotomy procedure etc)
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:19 AM
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funerals are for the living.....once I cease to function it wont matter to me what happens……..cause I aint there to feel it…..
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:22 AM
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I don't really care what Missus P&R Fan and the kids do with my carcass. After all, when the Trumpet sounds, it's going up.
I have made my wishes known about the funeral however, at least one of them. I've already chosen my pallbearers. I've spoken to them and they are all looking forward to the service. They are all Women. Women who are dear friends and all significantly older than me. I've cleared this with my Wife and my Pastor, and nobody has a problem with it. I've always liked older Women, and Missus P&R Fan is almost 5 years older than me. I figure Women have been carrying me all my life, might as well continue it when I take the Dirt Nap.
Jim
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by feralmerril View Post
I need to work on this. I have a paid for plot back home in wisconsin but it would cost a fortune to get me there. Besides I am married now. While I want the funneral cheap I dont want to be creamated.
Idealy, I would like to be buried like this guy. We were rideing quad near zion national park and found this grave overlooking it. Dont know what the legalitys are. It wasnt that long ago as I see he was a vietnam vet. Another nice touch I have seen is where some have had a picture of themselves sealed in the tombstone. I also have seen their likeness engraved in the stone. Now lets be truthful here. Many like to claim they dont care if we are rolled into the dump etc, but how many of you buried your pet with more respect than that?

I always care for the remains of my pets with the utmost of respect. But I bet it doesn't really matter to them though, I do that for me.
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:35 AM
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Donate whatever organs they'll take; the whole thing for anatomy class if they want it. (At least this time I won't have to see the pretty med student roll here eyes at my physique).

If anything is left, cremate and spread the ashes in my favorite hunting unit. Wait... better yet... have my hunting buddies incorporate my ashes into their reloads so I can keep hunting. Wonder if I'll need to put in for the draw....
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Old 09-08-2012, 11:57 AM
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Or you can go the pauper's way. The county will give you a $400.00 pauper's funeral. The funeral homes take turns doing these. This one is definately no frills. There is a cemetary owned by the county for this purpose and sometimes a local church will donate a plot. The backhoe operator takes a little time off from digging county ditches and drives over to the cemetary and digs your grave. He goes back to work and comes back later to cover it up. There is no embalming. If you already smell bad you'll be placed in a body bag along with a couple of sacks of lime. You'll go to the hereafter with whatever you had on (or didn't have on) bloodstains and all. There will be no vault in the grave or tent, chairs, and maybe no hearse. I've seen them ride in the back of a county pick-up truck. There will be no procession. Interested parties, such as family, will be told at what time to be at the cemetary. You may or may not have a preacher there to tell a few lies about your sorry carcass to make the family feel better. This is optional and must be arranged privately. Same with flowers and headstone. If you don't get the headstone your grave will be perpetually unmarked and if you're lucky it won't be dug up by a future backhoe operator. (this actually happened) Your casket will be made of thick heavy duty cardboard (all the ones I've seen are blue) guaranteed to start becoming part of the earth as soon as you begin your dirt nap. Two new crematories have opened in this area an I suspect that in the future the county will try and cut some kind of deal with them.

It's legal in this state to bury your loved ones in your yard as long as you do it before they become a health problem. The grave has to be a certain depth, I think it's six feet. Before you do this you might want to let local law enforcement know what's going on. If you don't your neighbor will. I've made no plans for my eventual departure. I've left that decision to my children, who are notoriously cheap. My daughter recently asked me what I would like to have done when it's my time to go and I told her "surprise me."
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:09 PM
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I have read accounts of graves being dug up in other countrys that dont have embalming laws, and some caskets were found clawed away under the lid! God! That would be bad!
I have mixed feelings on creamation. My inteligence tells me it makes no differance, yet somehow I have always had this stupid inner suspision that some people that do it, do it with the idea or fear that there just might be a God after all and they have lived a unGodly life and dont want to face judgement and burn in hell forever and forever, and are hedgeing their bet maybe trying to escape hell. Now, I really know better, but its just a idea I cant shake and I wont be cremated due to partly that false perception.
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:14 PM
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If you are a Veteran, you can go to the Nat'l Cemetery, and your spouse, even if she predeceases you, and even if you choose cremation. They are the best run cemetery's in the world, but what ever you do, I suggest that you leave your house in order, causing the least amount of added stress for those left to the unhappy chore. For me and my house, we have chosen to serve the Lord, and Live until we die.
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:26 PM
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I'd heard this years ago, and think it still runs true.

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.
When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.
Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain.

Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain agianst her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil.

Give my soul to God.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

Robert N. Test
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:46 PM
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Absent from the body, present with the Lord. Let them do whatever with my flesh.
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:48 PM
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Default What about reincarnation?

A Cowboy's View of Reincarnation


"What does reincarnation mean?"
A cowboy asked his friend.
His pal replied, "It happens when your life has reached it's end.

They comb your hair and wash your neck
and clean your finger-nails,
and lay you in a padded box,
away from life's travails.

The box and you goes in a hole
that's been dug in the ground,
and reincarnation starts in when
you're planted 'neath a mound.

Them clods melt down, just like your box,
and you who is inside,
and then you're just beginning
on your transformation ride.

In awhile the grass will grow
upon your rendered mound,
'til someday on your molded grave
a lonely flower is found.

And say a hoss should wander by
and graze upon this flower
that once was you, but now's become
your vegetative bower.

The posey that the hoss done ate
up with his other feed,
makes bones and fat and muscle,
essential to the steed.

But some is left that he can't use,
and so it passes through,
and finally lays upon the ground -
this thing that once was you.

Then say, by chance, I wanders by
and sees this on the ground,
and I ponders, and I wonders at
this object that I found.

And I thinks of reincarnation.
of life and death and such,
and I comes away concluding,
'Slim, you ain't changed all that much."
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Old 09-08-2012, 12:57 PM
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I want to be buried under the 18th green at Edmund Orgill golf course in Millington Tennessee. I want to be the bump that costs some future golfer his dollar.
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:15 PM
bootsdeal bootsdeal is offline
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On the lighter side -- being a natural born Texan, just give me an enema and stick me in a shoe box.
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:21 PM
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Just as long as I'm remembered...

Great Grandfather(CSA)


3rd Great Grandfather(Rev War)
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:26 PM
Duke426 Duke426 is offline
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...Now lets be truthful here. Many like to claim they dont care if we are rolled into the dump etc, but how many of you buried your pet with more respect than that?
Merril,

My dog has lived a better life than I have and should be accorded the respect she deserves...

I know how I've lived and I really don't deserve much of a memorial.

Larry

Last edited by Duke426; 09-08-2012 at 01:32 PM.
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:26 PM
feralmerril feralmerril is offline
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I dont know why, but will tell this story. After going though a bad divorice in the mid 80s I put a ad in the paper for a housekeeper/baby sitter. Working graveyard with OT almost around the clock to pay for supports I needed a woman at the house just to get visitation.
A honest to God english nanney answered my ad. She also was divoriced and a little older than me. We worked out a arrangment where I picked up all houseing and liveing exspendces and she worked in stores or a pharmacy for her money. She even looked like the "nanney" on tv.
The situation went long term. She was a english war orphan, her mother killed in the early bombings and she said her dad was killed flying a spit. She had no children or family.
She had no health insurance. She managed a big & tall store for the owner who had about 4 of them scattered at the time.
She got sick and didnt go to the doctor untill it was too late. Cancer. Finaly she had to go to a county hospital about two weeks before she died. About a week before she died she begged me to come home.
She died at home with me tending her. At first I had no legal say in anything. I called 911, she was taken to the hospital hooked up on resperators etc. The doctor asked me if he should let her go. I said I wasnt her husband and couldnt legaly tell him. He said I still will do what you want. After him assureing me there was no hope I had him pull the plug. The state took over and they cremated her. I asked how much for the ash`s and it was close to $900s back in 1998. I didnt buy them then but called a month or so later and got them for about $400s.
I took her deer hunting with me in a secluded area on a mountain top she had been before with me and I recalled her likeing the view.
At first I thought I would bury the urn. The ground was frozzen and like cement. I decided to just scatter her ashs. I then started to say the lords prayer but was interrupted by a nearby rifle shot that sounded like it wasnt over 60 yards away! I stepped out of the patch of woods I was in to look. It was fairly open country all around and I saw nobody.
I knew the area well. There was only one small road for miles that came up to the mountain top and I found no vehicles at all on the way down! That was the end to Martine.
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Old 09-08-2012, 01:49 PM
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Well, I always wanted to be cremated and have my ashes scattered by an SR-71 over California, Arizona and New Mexico.

Now that ain't going to happen as they moth balled the SR's.

So I will probably end up on a shelve in the basement!!
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Old 09-08-2012, 02:18 PM
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Steve Goodman: A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request - YouTube

I have never been a Chi-Town fan, but...
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Old 09-08-2012, 02:55 PM
forresth forresth is offline
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"buzzards gotta eat same as worms"
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:02 PM
mg357 mg357 is offline
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I want to be buried and i want the following items either on my body or in the casket.
s&w model 60 .357 magnum, my bible, set of favorite writing pens.
On my body i want to be wearing my green john deere hat and nothing else!
p.s. one more thing my grave will be exactly 6 feet deep and just to be on the safe side before the casket is put in the grave i will have someone get a tape measure out and make sure it is exactly 6 feet deep if its not then someone will get a shovel and dig until the 6 foot mark is reached.

Last edited by mg357; 09-08-2012 at 05:00 PM.
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:18 PM
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Several hundreds of dollars for a simple cremation? Try thousands.
We did one last December and it was about $700

To find an inexpensive one locally, try funeraldecisions.com

Or you could do like Bob Hope did: towards the end of his life, his wife asked him if he wanted to be buried or cremated. His response was "surprise me!".

Last edited by cowart; 09-08-2012 at 03:41 PM.
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Old 09-08-2012, 04:00 PM
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I’m in the I don’t care court when it comes to my carcass, but SWMBO has strong feelings about that. So I/we decided I would be cremation and she can do whatever she wished with the ashes.

The only request I have is once I’m gone she hold a good old fashioned wake; good music, good food, expensive cigars, and lots of GOOD whiskey. I’ve already set aside funds to cover my going away bash. Damn I wish I could be there.
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Old 09-08-2012, 04:51 PM
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Please think about your loved ones. Please.
My dad died a few short weeks ago and his wishes were to be cremated and his ashes placed in the Mississippi sound. His wife carried through with those wishes. Maybe it's me-but I always felt some comfort in visiting my ancestors grave sites every so often just to reflect. Not very often mind you, but when I did it was important to me. Can't do that with my father now
Might not seem important to a lot of people, but knowing where he is-with a simple stone set in the ground means a lot-at least to me. I have no problem with cremation whatsoever but I always felt that the ashes should be treated with the same dignity as an uncremated corpse. Scattering ashes just seems to me like dumping out the trash and I truly believe that everyone deserves a bit more dignity than that. Funerals are indeed for the living and we should not be so selfish as to dictate things that may very well hurt those left behind-notwithstanding our collective desire not to enrich the funeral industry
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Old 09-08-2012, 05:21 PM
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Please think about your loved ones. Please.
My dad died a few short weeks ago and his wishes were to be cremated and his ashes placed in the Mississippi sound. His wife carried through with those wishes. Maybe it's me-but I always felt some comfort in visiting my ancestors grave sites every so often just to reflect. Not very often mind you, but when I did it was important to me. Can't do that with my father now
Might not seem important to a lot of people, but knowing where he is-with a simple stone set in the ground means a lot-at least to me. I have no problem with cremation whatsoever but I always felt that the ashes should be treated with the same dignity as an uncremated corpse. Scattering ashes just seems to me like dumping out the trash and I truly believe that everyone deserves a bit more dignity than that. Funerals are indeed for the living and we should not be so selfish as to dictate things that may very well hurt those left behind-notwithstanding our collective desire not to enrich the funeral industry
That's how I feel. I want a very simple funeral with no embalming, and a plain wood box. No cremation - to me that's like pre-heating. I'll be hot enough as it is. I plan to return as a Zombie.
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Old 09-08-2012, 05:27 PM
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I do not want to be burned up and have my ashes put in a quart jar. I also don't want my blood pumped out and replaced with some antifreeze. And,,,,I want a simple pine box that my aunt Beth had for her. I plan to go on line and get a design to build my own to fit my fat butt and save about $10k for my wife. In WA you don't have to be embalmed. Just have to hit the dirt within a day or two.

I want a photo of my dogs inside and on top of my casket so I can see them, oh yea, my wife too.

Almost 60 so ........
Don't forget to have someone put a flashlight or candle in there so you can see them
Steve W
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Old 09-08-2012, 06:19 PM
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That's how I feel. I want a very simple funeral with no embalming, and a plain wood box. No cremation - to me that's like pre-heating. I'll be hot enough as it is. I plan to return as a Zombie.
That's how I'm going. Plain coffin (not a casket) built by the monks at St. Joe. visitation at church-mass then into the ground. Aside from that, they are free to do what they want.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:46 PM
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I already have a grave and a head stone right next to my departed wife. How and in what condition I get there doesn't matter as long as I end up next to her.
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