W C Fields & oysters

[rimfired]

Went shopping w/Mrs. and wound up at Doc McGrogans oyster house.

Young lad offered water, we had a wine and beer coming.

I asked him if he knew what WC Fields said about drinking water?

Who? Told him to G it.

Do you know?

[TIMETRIPPER]

Wasn't itabout not drinking something that oysters or fish did their business in?
John

[Marshwheeling]

I don't know if W.C said anything about oysters, but he did observe that fish proliferate in it.

[boatme99]

"I'm not saying this steak is tough, I merely observed that I didn't see that horse tied outside."

"Women are like elephants. Their nice to look at but I wouldn't want to own one."

And;

"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."

[Fishslayer]

"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."

[ACP230]

"One day I stumbled across a case of bourbon. I kept stumbling for
several days thereafter..."

I did a (bad) W.C. Fields impression for a while.

[Old 44 Guy]

"Any one that hates dogs & kids can't be all bad". WC Fields.

[shouldazagged]

An elderly gent has heard that oysters are good for increasing potency, so he goes to an oyster bar. He orders a dozen on the half shell, scarfs them rapidly and runs out.

The next day he's back, angrily demanding a refund because only eight of them worked.

When Fields was near the end of his troubled life a friend visited him in the hospital and found him reading a Bible. The surprised visitor asked him why he was reading the Good Book. "I'm looking for loopholes," Fields said.

[Bert Man]

Fought the brute for a night and a day. Finally subdued him with a gin bottle. Ah, what a waste.

Ah, yes, my dear, hot lunch at the bar, consisting of succotash, philadelphia cream cheese and asparagus with mayonnaise.

[teesur]

[QUOTE=boatme99;137745114
And;

"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."[/QUOTE]

And, also:

"Ah yes - - - Philadelphia, went there once.
It was closed".
teesur.

[bill2000]

"Ain't a fit night out for man nor beast."

"If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit, There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

[Fishslayer]

Originally Posted by bill2000

"If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit, There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

Words to live by and one of my favorites. I'd forgotten where it came from.

[UncaGrunny]

Thank you for the reminder of a great man of singular wit whom I had not thought of in quite some time.

Off to goog some quotes.

[shouldazagged]

For all his talk about hating small children, Fields had a softer side. When he lived next door to Anthony Quinn, Quinn's two-year-old son got away from home and drowned in Fields' swimming pool. Fields was crushed. He drained the pool and never went near it again.

[fat tom]

"It was a woman drove me to drink,and I'll be a son-of-a-gun for I never wrote to thank her."

"The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother's birth."

"Everything I do is either illegal,immoral or fattening."


f.t.

[MOONDAWG]

Water?

"I don't drink anything fish fornicate in"

...and...

"It was a woman that drove me to drink and I never got to thank her" W.C. Fields

[vrichard]

W C Fields was my favorite comedy shows.
Dick

[lrb1200]

"Some contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch"

One of the "greats", can always make me laugh.

[Lt JL]

"I always carry a little whiskey in case of snakebite. I also carry a small snake."

[sheepdawg]

Talking to a caddie on the golf course.

Give me my mashie niblick, yes. I got it in Toronto. Yes, give me that Canadian Club.


He spiked Baby LeRoy's orange juice with some gin one day while making a movie with him. Baby LeRoy passed out and couldn't be revived to do a scene. "The kid's no trooper!" Fields shouted out.


Egbert Sousé: (Fields) Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty dollar bill?

Bartender: (Shemp Howard) Yeah.

Egbert Sousé: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind! I thought I'd lost it.





Fields loved to try to slip stuff past the censors. In The Bank Dick watch the bar room scences with Shemp Howard of Three Stooges fame as bartender, he gets away with murder. The name of the bar plays a big part. The Black Pussy Cat Cafe.

[meaneyedcatz]

Here's one from W C F.

I once know a doctor that treated a kid three weeks for yellow jaundice. Then he found out the kid was oriental.

[BUFF]

"Ah, yessssss, volleyballllll......... It's a wonderful sport. I attended the world championship several years ago, it was held in Paris. It was very exciting, hundreds of people were killllllled......"

His bit "The Dentist" was an all-time classic.

[model70hunter]

Late in his career he would tip the bottle more and would end up on the set polluted. The Director/producers kept him detained in his dressing room and on set only. After a few days he was arriving at the set polluted. They monitored and watched him for days. No luck, Finally someone noticed a basket of fruit delivered to him each morning.

Upon investigation they found the oranges were full of Vodka.

Ahh yes my little chickadee.

[Grayfox]

Many people seem to forget that Fields was also quite the juggler.
W.C. Fields Juggling

[BearBio]

I took a course on film in college. One of the stories we were told is that W.C., Douglas Fairbanks and John Barrymore (?) were drinking buddies with Hearst. Seems they'd get drunk and turn loose Hearst's private zoo at San Simeon. Saddle the (saddle-broke) zebras and go round them up.

Supposedly, the hills at Ft Hunter Liggett have occasional strange animals show up. I've seen one weirdly African-looking sheep or goat there while hunting on base.

[shouldazagged]

Originally Posted by Grayfox

Many people seem to forget that Fields was also quite the juggler.
W.C. Fields Juggling

In fact he started as a juggler. It's been said that as a young man he used to practice till his hands literally bled.

[old bear]

Attributed to the great man. "Growing old is a bitch, but the beats the other option."