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Old 04-23-2014, 10:18 AM
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Default Autism

This week, I just wrapped up a 12-week (it went 13) class in Leadership. We have a Training Center on the East Coast but with budget restrictions, we are doing more and more over the Internet. This class was in using digital media (such as YouTube) to illustrate leadership problems and suggest solutions. I chose the category “Challenge the System”. The class was supposed to take 3 hours a week but ran more like 8 per week. Much of the work was done at home on our own time.

Anyway, as I have alluded to or referred to before, I have autistic tendencies or Asperger’s Syndrome. Autism is a spectrum ranging from geeks like me to institutionalized vegetables. When I first became a supervisor in Federal service, I reviewed my Myers-Briggs (a personality test) and my type (INTJ) indicated a high possibility of Asperger’s. So, I pursued it and took tests and it’s pretty conclusive, even if self-diagnosed. In person, I am halfway between Grissom (on CSI) and Sheldon (on Big Bang Theory). I this point in my life (60+ yrs), I’m not gonna change my behavior but it helps me to understand myself and to try to “behave myself” in polite company.
Anyway, I did my presentation on incorporating autistic talent in problem solving and it was well received and I was encouraged to pass it on. Maybe I will. But here is something I wrote a few years ago in a family letter that I’d like to pass on:

Be forewarned: I am militant on autistic rights! Sorry about the length!

Parents often experience guilt over having an autistic child. Early theories blamed parenting and many current theories blame genetics (looking back, my own father was almost certainly High Functioning Autistic). Some parents grasp at straws.

Those affected by conditions considered part of the autistic spectrum fall into three general “camps”:

Those who have “found” a cure: These feel that the have found what science has not: The cause & cure for autism. “Treatment” may include electro-shock therapy, insulin shock, extreme behavior modification, heavy-metal chelation and gluten-free diets. Some of these treatments may be dangerous or even fatal (see end of document). These are the Jenny McCarthy’s of the world. This group is mostly made up of parents, usually with a recently diagnosed child and a few adults, who are mostly HFA, who are in denial. Generally considered a fringe group but very highly publicized.

Those who pray for a cure: This group is largely made up of funded researchers and parents. Groups like Autism Speaks rarely have an autist on their Board of Directors or as an advisor. These groups are the largest and usually the most funded. Again, these are mainly parents in denial and, often, quite desperate. Also, this group is usually the parents with Low Functioning Autism or with younger children. Considered the mainstream group.

Those who do not want a cure: This group is mostly made up of AS and HFAs. Many do not consider autism to be a handicap. Autism is simply a “difference” and can/should not be “cured”. They promote “mainstreaming” --acceptance, training, and instruction for both autists and non-autists. Considered the “activists”, many have advanced degrees and a few even have high academic honors (several have Nobel Prizes in fields such as Peace, Physics, Medicine, Mathematics, and Economics)--In general, AS and HFAs have a greater proportion of graduate degrees than does the population as a whole.

A person with AS writes:
“So your child was just diagnosed with autism or AS.. now what? …………
Let me explore the differences between the autistic mind and the normal mind a bit here. The depth of the difference in how the normal mind works and how the autistic mind works is profound, and it may surprise you. ……….

An autistic person is like a cat. Cats are independent, solitary creatures; their own needs are their only motive. You would be hard pressed to train a cat not to eat (for no other reason than you say so) when he is hungry. The only way to do that would be to convince the cat that he would be negatively impacted if he ate the food... in which case, he would still be acting in his own interest (not wanting to be punished), not in the interest of the owner. A cat has no innate desire to please anyone but himself. A cat does not care if other cats wish to do a certain thing; he does what he wants to do, and that is that. A cat has no concept of the needs of other cats; even if he did, though, they would not concern him. Cats are inwardly motivated, not externally motivated.
Although the child may look enough like you to make you think that he really is pretty much the same as you, the fact is that in his head, he thinks nothing like you do. On the outside, autism seems like behavioral abnormalities; bad habits that need to be broken. If you got to be on the inside for a minute, though, you would realize that this is not the case at all.

The autistic person is as different from the NT person as a cat is from a dog. While you, as a social being, are able to seamlessly blend into a group, the autistic person has no concept of what it means to be a part of a group. He may not even realize that these other people are other living beings like him. They may appear to be moving pieces of the landscape, no more important or similar to him than a tree or a rock. In time, he will begin to understand, but the social connectedness, the ability to truly feel like a part of it all, will never be there. He may learn to relate to others relatively well, and maybe to be social at times. Even so, he will always be in a group only of one... himself. That is simply the nature of the independent being that he is.
There is nothing wrong with being a cat. In a world of dogs, though, it seems abnormal and pathological. To beings that prize their ability to be a part of a collective, a condition that would cause a person to be disconnected from that collective would seem like a horrible tragedy. To the person that is so affected, it's just the way he is. ……..Autism is a neurological disorder; it relates to the unusual structuring of the brain,……….. No training or diet or drug is going to change the structure of the brain. Sure, autistics can be taught to act normal, but it is, indeed, just an act. No matter what the behavior, the ability to feel a part of the collective will just not be there.
Normal people's actions in social situations are governed, in large part, by their feelings of connection to the group. An autistic person has no such connection, and that is why the social behaviors must be learned by rote. Without that connection, relating to others as if he were connected is just an act, and like all acts, it is learned in a rote fashion, from a script. Mastery of that script does not make him normal or recovered, any more than mastery of the M.A.S.H. script made Alan Alda an army surgeon. It's pretend; make-believe; not real.

The depth of the lack of connection is greater than a simple inability to conceptualize himself as being one of the group. Many of the innate social behaviors and nonverbal communication methods are absent as well. Not only does the autistic person find it impossible to truly see himself as part of a group, but he also lacks the ability to use eye contact, body posture (stance), gesture, and other such things to communicate with others. He lacks the ability to conceptualize the "unwritten rules" of conduct that govern action within society, but are never spoken overtly. Normal people may never realize how important these things can be in ordinary relations with other people, since they are processed subconsciously. Their importance is only really noted when the NT communicates with a person that does not have these social functions enabled.

The ability to presuppose what a normal person may already know, as well as the ability to guess how an NT will be affected by various statements, are abilities built-into the NT person. Once again, these are social functions that allow the NT to be the pack animal that he is. Like the other social abilities, the autistic person lacks these. The ability to empathize with others is predicated upon the ability to read the nonverbal cues, which teach the NT person early in life that others often have different opinions and moods than he does. Without the ability to read those signs, the autistic person may never fully realize that. Higher-functioning autistics and those with AS will recognize this difference in opinion and mood, but it will be cognitively mediated, not intuitive. Normal people don't have to analyze someone to know what his mood or state-of-mind may be during conversation. It is automatic; they get a feeling for it without even trying. Higher-functioning autistics (including those with AS) can often do a remarkable job of figuring out what normal people may be thinking, but it is something that requires a lot of effort and thought. It does not come naturally.

In the higher-functioning autistics, including those with AS, this cognitive substitute for intuitive NT behaviors is normal, and it is fairly effective. Even if you teach the autistic person how to read these signals by rote, it will be something he has to think quite hard about, and while he is attempting to process these signals, he will not be able to concentrate on what the other person is saying.

Normal people have two channels for conversation: the cognitive channel, which processes speech, and the nonverbal channel, which processes the nonverbal cues (eye contact, facial expression, body posture, gestures) that many say make up more than half of the communication in a typical conversation. In autistics, the nonverbal channel is not present. So, while you can teach the autistic to try to make eye contact, you cannot teach him to properly modulate that eye contact in a communicative way, as NTs do automatically. He will neither be able to read the other person's eye signals, nor will he be able to make any eye signals of his own. That is why attempts at eye contact by autistics come off as stares. In time, autistic children that are badgered to make eye contact learn to fake it in one way or another... by looking at the ear, the nose, or by looking "through" the person. You may think the child is making eye contact, and is thus improving, but that is not the case at all. As one that has been looking "through" people for decades, I know what I am talking about here.

The autistic brain and the normal brain work very differently. Despite the normal physical appearance of the autistic child, there is no normal child in there, waiting to be set free from his autism. Sometimes an autistic child will seem to act normally for a while, and for that time you may think that he is "getting better." Don't fall for that... if you do, it will only be that much more disappointing when you see the autistic behavior return. The autism goes straight through to the core. Autism is like being of a different species; like a cat rather than a dog. No matter what you do, that brain in that skull will be an autistic brain, thinking autistic thoughts. You can train an autistic person to act normally, but don't mistake that for "recovery." Autism is not a mental illness or a disease. It is a different state of being; like being a different species. If I train my cat to act like a dog, he will be a trained cat, not a dog.

There is no recovery from autism. ……………..

Anxiety and fear are big factors in the life of any autistic person; children are certainly not exempt from that. The worse the anxiety in the autistic child's life, the more he will tend to overreact to change in routine, things that seem to be "wrong" (like an open drawer or something like that), et cetera. Remember that your autistic child is like a fish out of water; nothing in the world makes sense to him, even to the extent that it does to normal children. The world can be a very scary place to an autistic child. ………

My 'stim' behaviors, like pacing, rocking, flapping, making silly noises, et cetera, were coping mechanisms, as they are in all autistic children. These behaviors are perfectly normal for autistics; don't think of them as undesirable because they are abnormal for your neurology. They are not abnormal for your child's neurology; in fact, they are vital stress-releasers
Autism is not mental retardation.

Please don't let your child get the impression that he is something to be ashamed of.
Autism is not a tragedy. It is a difference. The autistic way of thinking is no less valid than the NT way. Different is not bad, or wrong. It is just different. It is true that other kids may be harsh and unaccepting of those that are different, but whose failing is that? The lack of acceptance of those that are different is a function of the pack animal mind. “

Jim Sinclair (an autistic author) writes:

“Autism isn't something a person has, or a "shell" that a person is trapped inside. There's no normal child hidden behind the autism. Autism is a way of being. It is pervasive; it colors every experience, every sensation, perception, thought, emotion, and encounter, every aspect of existence. It is not possible to separate the autism from the person--and if it were possible, the person you'd have left would not be the same person you started with.

This is important, so take a moment to consider it: Autism is a way of being. It is not possible to separate the person from the autism.

Therefore, when parents say, "I wish my child did not have autism," what they're really saying is, "I wish the autistic child I have did not exist, and I had a different (non-autistic) child instead."
Read that again. This is what we hear when you mourn over our existence. This is what we hear when you pray for a cure. This is what we know, when you tell us of your fondest hopes and dreams for us: that your greatest wish is that one day we will cease to be, and strangers you can love will move in behind our faces. “

Last edited by BearBio; 04-23-2014 at 10:22 AM.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:32 AM
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Very interesting & informative. Thank you for posting.
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Old 04-23-2014, 11:42 AM
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Default thank you for shedding some light on this mystery

In today's busy world, many want to be different & stand out from the crowd. Most try thru dress, grooming, or actions.

Natural instinct tells us to avoid the different ones. Logic will lead us to celebrate the true differences, as we are all truly unique. Understanding is the first step in that logic process.

Thank you Mr. Bear, You have truly furthered my education with this post!
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:06 PM
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As my major in grad school was specializing in Animal Behavior, it is interesting to note (in common with your comment) that predators pick out the one that is different. There is a thing we studied (in a course on crypsis and mimicry) numerical mimicry, which is basically flocking behavior where all the individuals are the same and are, therefore, mimicking each other to confuse a predator. In nature, to stand out is to die!
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Old 04-23-2014, 12:22 PM
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BearBio, My wife and I have a 12 year old granddaughter living with us who is autistic. We are learning to be be patient and to understand the triggers which cause her to go out of control. She will need to function in the world so we are using behavioral modification strategies so that she will learn to react to her world in appropriate ways.
Reading is beginning to happen and her love of music is being channeled into starting piano. Language development is a struggle but progressing.
Thank you for the insights.
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Old 04-23-2014, 03:40 PM
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Default It's good to hear......

It's good to hear that progress is being made in the understanding of autism. And knowing some functioning autistic people that it doesn't HAVE to mean that you are locked in a room playing with blocks all day.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:16 PM
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Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
Thank you for the informative narration.
I have learned a little more.
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Old 04-23-2014, 06:47 PM
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BearBio, if I may: As I understand you, you write that being autistic is being like a cat as opposed to a dog. A cat, or someone with autism, does not care what others are doing, or what others think of its behavior. No social instincts. No sympathy or empathy for others. Independence, self interest, and indifference to others, as I understand you.

Yet you write an explanation for us, so that we can better understand you and your fellow autistics.... I think this means that you want non-autistic people to understand you and other autistics.

If so, why?

I ask because most people, with social instincts, who feel they are different, try to explain themselves because they want to be liked, or accepted socially. But if one doesn't care about being liked or accepted, why make the effort to explain one's difference?

And it also seems to me, the way my brain works when I read what you have written, that you want better understanding of not just yourself, but other or all autistic people. This seems a contradiction to me.

I find your post interesting. I think it helps us non autistic people better understand you, which is, from our perspective, something appreciated, and useful to us. I wish you well.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:50 PM
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Onomea: It is a dichotomy. Something I need to ponder on. I think one answer may be in the old nature versus nurture argument. The majority of high functioning autistics fit in reasonably well, being just "geeks". I suspect this is learned behavior. I do not have any urge to "fit in". I did when I was younger but I suspect that was because I was "supposed" to fit in; it was expected of me to do so.

Personally, as a biologist I expect this may be analogous to the sickle cell trait. A single gene imparts a resistance to malaria; a double gene is fatal. High functioning autists may only carry a "single gene" and institutional cases carry a double gene (?). Makes sense? The autism spectrum is a sliding scale. From barely noticeable to fully institutionalized. If it is genetic, it may be controlled by numerous genes. Eye color is determined by at least 23 different genes. For example, there are only two colors of Labrador Retrievers but another gene controls whether the color is "turned on" (like a light). If that gene is turned off, you get a yellow lab instead of a chocolate or black dog.

I do not empathize and rarely sympathize with people. I do experience a sense of loss but not grief at the death of "loved" ones. This caused me a lot of guilt feelings earlier. I "love" my wife but not in a poetic sense. We are best friends.

Thank you==you've given me another problem to solve (that's when we are the happiest!)

I know in my case I have learned to fit in. As I stated, I stare past people or through people. I have learned to respond in ways that society expects. I can recognize body language but not instinctively; I have to interpret it. That is not natural nor, to some extent, unconscious.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:10 PM
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From the father of two autistic boys, thank you for efforts in helping others to understand.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:24 PM
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Bear Bio, thanks for the post.

Les
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:25 PM
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When you lose a loved one is it a loss for yourself or a loss for someone you loved and miss being around? Could this be part of the guilt thing?

Think about it. Why do we miss people?

If so don't let it bother you. I think all of us feel that way sometimes.

This is a great thread. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:36 PM
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Fascinating and enlightening. Thank you.
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:46 PM
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I believe I just read about myself. At least I have an 'understanding' or 'feeling' about my total lack of interest in being part of the group in junior and senior high school. \

Some things were important: church, confirmation, Sunday School, academic success. Other social issues I was totally clueless about growing up, even after high school or college. I may have learned more in basic training than I thought.

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Old 04-24-2014, 08:48 AM
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My best friend has two autistic children. I appreciate you taking the time to write this. Your cat dog analogy is an effective one.
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Old 04-24-2014, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Onomea View Post
BearBio, if I may: As I understand you, you write that being autistic is being like a cat as opposed to a dog. A cat, or someone with autism, does not care what others are doing, or what others think of its behavior. No social instincts. No sympathy or empathy for others. Independence, self interest, and indifference to others, as I understand you.

Yet you write an explanation for us, so that we can better understand you and your fellow autistics.... I think this means that you want non-autistic people to understand you and other autistics.

If so, why?

I ask because most people, with social instincts, who feel they are different, try to explain themselves because they want to be liked, or accepted socially. But if one doesn't care about being liked or accepted, why make the effort to explain one's difference?

And it also seems to me, the way my brain works when I read what you have written, that you want better understanding of not just yourself, but other or all autistic people. This seems a contradiction to me.

I find your post interesting. I think it helps us non autistic people better understand you, which is, from our perspective, something appreciated, and useful to us. I wish you well.
I would think that outside of institutionalized cases - folks with any sort of disorder find themselves in a social world whether they like it or not - those who are able to recognize that they are somehow not-like the others - may choose to ignore it and move on - or try to deal with it as best they can.

My son is somewhere on the Autism/Asberger spectrum but is overall pretty high function. Much of the original post "fits" with what I can observe of him.
I suppose I might also fall right onto the very end of the very high functioning part of that scale (or perhaps something unrelated with some overlapping parameters). Don't feel a need to "fit-in", have struggled with empathy/sympathy, though improving through years of practice, not entirely comfortable in most social situations, though do pretty well in small workgroups. The hardest part is the wife, who has clinically diagnosed mental illnesses of her own, thinking that if only we were more strict with out son that would help him, or medication would fix him (while I am not opposed to medication, outside of infections it is not generally my go to), and she desperately wants him to be able to fit-in. I don't feel a need to punish him for being the way he is, when it must be a terrible struggle already, especially when he doesn't seem able to connect his actions with the consequences of those actions.
It is frustrating as a parent to see him sometimes appear to be functioning just as you would expect and then to "fall apart" - just as it is to see my cat poop on the sofa after years and years of using the litter box. In both cases, neither the kid nor the cat, are able to communicate the reasons why their behavior which is not socially acceptable has occurred.
As a very logical person one of the hardest things for me when dealing with my son is his lack of ability to explain to me what is going on inside his head because I feel that if he could express what is going on then we could help him find ways to effectively deal with it, and buy that I do not mean to alter who he is just to "fit-in" but to find the best possible way for him to be happy and successful.
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Old 04-24-2014, 07:35 PM
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One of the biggest revelations to me was when my wife mentioned that she thought in words=her brain changed words into complete thoughts. My brain always has functioned in pictures, which I translated into words and thoughts. Einstein once said he pictured a beam of light as a train made up of boxcars==that was the birth of quantum physics.

I also dream in color (not exclusive to autistics) but I dream in the third person. I watch myself from the outside. Temple Grandin (Watch the movie by HBO with Clare Danes (?)) wrote a book called "Thinking in Pictures"=does wonders in explaining how autistics think!

By the way, thanks for the encouragement==both the PMs and the "likes"=make the pain and fear of opening myself worth it.
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:33 AM
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Thanks, BearBio.

My son, who is 42, is autistic, and has severe Asperger's Syndrome. I've mentioned this several times in posts, and it's good for someone to take the time to post some details about the world of autistics and AS folks.

When my son was born, autistics were "Rain Man". It wasn't defined as a spectrum disorder until the late 1980's, and even then Dr. Asperger's study sat on the shelves of some library in Austria.

In the late 1970's, our son's autism was completely unknown. Several psychologists diagnosed him with "a deep-seated, unknown, psychological disorder", that may never be uncovered.

It wasn't until 1980, that a local school psychologist, brought up the possibility that he didn't have any "psychological disorder", since she couldn't, no matter how she worked with our son, define the "deep-seated, unknown, psychological disorder". Since she didn't know for sure, she became his personal advocate, and refused to let the school administrators buttonhole him.

Several years in Special Education, and more Individualized Education Plans (IEP), finally got him the support and help he needed. When he was a senior in high school, we had a psychologist who was familiar with the "spectrum" of autism. Asperger's was still unknown, but we had a start.

Our son is at the severe end of AS, and as such, will never develop the means to recognize the "social contract", and create any real peer-to-peer relationships. Most all of his social relationships are mentor/mentee types.

In 2007, our son, who had been living independently, lost his job, and suffered a severe relapse. He moved back home, and we spent a lot of time, and money on new diagnoses, including testing for AS. I learned of AS, before he was diagnosed, by answering a questionnaire from an Australian support site. Our son "hit" on 24 of 25 symptoms. Testing for AS confirmed our observations.

Yes, there's no "cure". Our son is who he will always be. And the difficulty, is that, without continuous counseling and therapy, he will "back slide" into an "anti-social" shell.

By observation, we have concluded that autism and AS are exacerbated by overstimulation of the visual senses. We constantly have to limit his exposure on the computer, and most of all, television.

It's a vastly complicated condition, and once diagnosed, it's a lifetime of treatment and therapy.

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Old 04-25-2014, 12:45 AM
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Rather than edit my post, I'd like to add the following:

Parents of autistic children shouldn't spend a moment of self-guilt, -recrimination, or any other second guessing as to why their child is autistic. No one knows. At one time, 1 in 150 children were diagnosed, and now about 1 in 67. Diagnosis is done much sooner, and whether mild or severe, treatment can begin much earlier.

My wife and I spent, literally, years of self-examination, asked ourselves if something happened pre-natal, if it ran in the families, etc. Don't waste you time. Get your child treated. Don't waste another second if you even have a single suspicion.

There's a tremendous amount of BS out there; that vaccine preservatives cause autism, etc. There is absolutely no proof of any connection.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:05 AM
bgrone bgrone is offline
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Bearbio and Dennis, thank you both for sharing. Very insightful look into the world of AS/autism. Your posts have helped me understand much more about these conditions.



Jim in Iowa
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:37 AM
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BearBio, great post! My niece was LFA and, that I know of, never said a word. She did seem to like me though as, whenever we visited, she would gradually ease herself next to me as long as I didn't pay attention to her. If I acknowledged her, she would immediately move away. Then she would slowly move back. When she was 12, her spine was so curved they had to do surgery to put a rod in and two days later she passed away. Her doctor said there was no medical reason they could find and it was as if she just gave up. Thanks for writing that excellent explanation because Sarah's behavior, looking back, was very much like that of a cat.

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Old 04-28-2014, 10:21 AM
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I was in the field for a couple of days (oh, joy!) and came back to a couple of really good e-mails.

The first was that I had received an "A" in my class (I was taking it "Pass/Fail" but still a nice message from my teacher). She advised me to take it further and do more.

Secondly, and more importantly: A friend of mine for over 10 years is the Project Leader for a hatchery nearby. When I took our Leadership Course, he was a mentor (That's how I met him). He was in our Advanced Leadership Course and was a fellow student. He is also on the Regional Diversity Team (through our Regional Office in Portland). He mentioned my video and the Diversity Team wants me to present it at their quarterly meeting in June.

This will be the first step by our Agency and, if not the first in Federal Service, it will be ONE of the first on including the functionally autistic under our principles of inclusiveness.

I am so jazzed right now!

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Old 04-28-2014, 01:29 PM
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Our son does understand that he has Asperger's, and to some extent, the severity of his condition.

However, from within the autistic's world, their behavior is "normal". It's a matter of comprehension, not from factual data, but from the realm of "feelings" for lack of a better term. If not pointed in "the right direction" autistics consider whatever contact they have with others as normal.

Our son, as I mentioned is in the mild end of the spectrum. And his relationships develop more as mentor/mentee, than peer to peer. His relationships with women are by and large, platonic.

At age 43, we've settled on the fact that he probably is incapable of romantic love, and developing the type of relationships required, resulting in marriage. This is why he's at the severe end of the Asperger's scale. He does have a girl friend but it's a long term platonic relationship, and will never go further than that.

Autism, it's spectrum, and adding Asperger's to the mix, makes treatment extremely complex, and it requires constant reinforcement.
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Dennis The B View Post
Our son does understand that he has Asperger's, and to some extent, the severity of his condition.

However, from within the autistic's world, their behavior is "normal". It's a matter of comprehension, not from factual data, but from the realm of "feelings" for lack of a better term. If not pointed in "the right direction" autistics consider whatever contact they have with others as normal.

Our son, as I mentioned is in the mild end of the spectrum. And his relationships develop more as mentor/mentee, than peer to peer. His relationships with women are by and large, platonic.

At age 43, we've settled on the fact that he probably is incapable of romantic love, and developing the type of relationships required, resulting in marriage. This is why he's at the severe end of the Asperger's scale. He does have a girl friend but it's a long term platonic relationship, and will never go further than that.

Autism, it's spectrum, and adding Asperger's to the mix, makes treatment extremely complex, and it requires constant reinforcement.
Understand: We don't fall in love. We "choose" who will love. However, DO NOT EVER betray us! We are nit-pickers. "Being back in a couple of hours" means to be back in TWO hours=2 1/2 and we are steaming because you lied to us!

My wife is the most intelligent woman I know. We tease a lot and she is perfectly capable of telling me you're being "autistic" (I admit she will sometimes tell me I'm being a "retard" and to knock it off!). Yet, knowing my motivations , or lack thereof, has been one of the greatest changes, episodes, revelations, or whatever, of our lives. We first got together while discussing the writings of the early Victorian explorers of Africa (her field was Victorian lit and my interest was in the early explorers). She is completely (20/20 questions) extrovert and I am completely introvert (19/20 questions). Our priest swore we wouldn't last 6 months; it's been 26 years in August.

It is the KNOWING that makes the difference! She once told me "Da---t, stop being so logical=I WANT to fight!"
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:27 PM
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BearBio, Thank you for all the valuable information. I did work in the mental health field for man years. I wish I had had this information when I was working.

I have a learning disability of sorts. I have a hard time seeing words in m brain, It's like I don't have the mental blackboard were things are written so you can see words or numbers. I have a difficult time spelling or doing simple math. Yet I read at a very high level. I can tell when a word is misspelled but I could not tell what letter was missing or misplaced. I always thought I was dumb and something was wrong. I also have had emotional blunting. I done show emotion when someone dies or moves away. I feel the loss but it is more internal.

Anyway thank you for so much information.
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:35 PM
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REMEMBER: Autism is a spectrum. It's like a true rainbow. There is no red, blue, green, etc. It all fades into each other=red shifts into purple, into black, etc., without borders.

There is no shift from Aspergers to HFA, etc. The difference for me in diagnosis was (to me) whether I had delayed speech or not (?). I stuttered. Did that make me an HFA (with delayed speech) or Asperger's (no delayed speech)? Does it really matter? Maybe to some doctor type? But to me the difference was learning I think in pictures and not words. Gee, is that "normal"==no, not to "normal thinkers" but to me thinking in words is "weird".

We are simply DIFFERENT! Like blue eyes versus brown!
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Old 04-28-2014, 02:56 PM
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As always, I find your writing invaluable for understanding something I've had trouble comprehending in the past. Thank you for sharing. I wish you could share this information with everyone.
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:08 PM
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Hopefully, it will be soon, at least to more people. My presentation may be posted on Youtube (I have someone in the office who might help me upload it) and it will be shared with personnel from my agency's HR staff in June. It has already been passed out to some refuge staff in Alaska and our training center in W. VA.
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