Last week at the shore we had dinner at a friend's house, very informal, I've known the man since we were 12 and we're 70 now. We brought the cheesburgers and fixings, they provided fresh corn on the cob, dessert, martinis.

My friend cooked 4 burgers and left one raw. We ate. He ate one burger and 3 ears of corn. We had dessert. Plates were cleaned up and then he got up, walked outside and cooked himself another burger. Then he sat down with another ear of corn and proceeded to prepare this second meal with the care of an artist while we sat doing nothing. Then he sat there and held court not touching the meal. I finally said "Eat up Howard" and his wife chimed in and said "Yes, eat up, we're all done and just sitting here." He then lashed out at her. When he finished we thanked them and left. I was pissed. This guy has serious OCD issues but this one took the cake.

Maybe your friend is experiencing the first stages of dementia.
No, I don't think you're off base, but he sounds like he surely is. And who eats another round after dessert, anyway?

You known the man along time. If this level of behavior is recent, then prepare yourself for an unpleasant future. I think there is a health problem on or in his brain. The greatest problem is; what are you aloud to about it. Mostly I believe your friend needs you to be there just as a friend until the end. I hope you have the strength to last for him. Ivan

Maybe he was just hungry.

That does not bode well...if he has always been like that, I can't imagine he would still be your friend.

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No good deed goes unpunished.

Early stage dementia is my guess.Weird behavior is the first sign.

Years ago I had a preacher friend that told me the following story of when he was a hired farm hand when he was young.
He ate with the farmers family. The farmer, a cheapskate, would pray and bless the food. He also prayed, let us not make gluttons of ourselves and gave my friend a long look.
My friend purposely left his gloves in the dining room and returned a few minuets later to retrieve them. The farmer was chowing down for the second time!

I knew of another hired hand. The farmer said grace and when he finished the hired hand said : "God bless the potatoes, God bless the bread. If`n you dont put more food on the table, we will all drop dead!"
The farmer roared, Your fired! The hired hand said no I aint, I just quit. Got up and walked out.

My mother-in-law has dementia. We now show patience and talk about the subjects she brings up. When she lashes out at us, we don't take it personally. At times she is aware of her condition other times not. It has been hard on my wife. So, if that becomes the case of your friend, even if he doesn't realize it, he and his wife will need friends.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

"Love is patient and kind..." I Corinthians 13.

Hello, I would go with the answer- "maybe he's just hungry". Or my new favorite saying-"if you're not weird you're boring".

I did used to know an OCD person, and his wife did not get along with him. She would move one small piece of the window blinds out of place, he would have to go through his whole routine all over again until the house was "right". I imagine living with someone with OCD might get annoying. Have patience, you've known him a long time

I don't think dementia however his OCD is so bad we visited them for a few day in March in FL and my wife and I decided not to do that again. He drove us nuts. I could tell you dozens of stories about it. However he does have this thing where he apparently doesn't realize his actions hold up or inconvenience others.

One quick one. He invited another couple and us last year over for drinks before going to dinner. He poured one martini out of three and the gin bottle was empty but before completing the other two he proceeded to take out the plastic pourer from the gin bottle and wash the bottle with soap and water inside and out and then dry it completely which took quite a long time. Then and only then did we get our martinis. My friend and I just looked at ourselves in amazement.

We only get together a couple of times per year which is plenty.

wow that would seem a little strange to me id watch my back

reddogge, as others have said, it sound as if your FRIEND is ill. If you were a real long term friend, you would do your best to support him and his wife, as both are going to need it. If you can't deal with seeing a friend in this condition, by all means stay away.

Anyone can be a friend when everything is just fine. But a true friend is someone who hangs with you when things go bad. True friends are few and far apart; they are also to be treasured more than gold or diamonds.

Hmmmmm

Guess I have a deviant mind cuz sounds to me like his girlfriend was stopping over later and she's hungry...............

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AKA: "Strange Tamer"

I'm afraid his wife is going to have the worst time of it.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

Years ago I worked with a similar type. Unfortunately, we also lived walking distance from each other. The guy was very hyper and a pain to work with. I have a ton of storys about him. I always had thought his wife was simple and mentally challenged. He treated her like a daughter more than a wife. He died. In a short time she totally changed, learned to drive and got a life. I noticed he did all the shopping, never once that I knew of took her out to dinner or anything else. Yet he always did his thing, boats, airplanes and horses. Once when I first knew him they invited me over for easter dinner. Her dad, brother and grandmother were there. They rented a cheap house but he was fussy and it always was clean. Grandma spilled her drink. He flipped out and yelled for his wife go get a towel etc. He wouldnt stop. It was already cleaned up but he would look at it, cuss under his breath and again tell his wife to get more towels etc. All the while he kept saying, dont worry grandma, its not your fault etc repeatedly! I felt like slapping him alongside the head! Finaly his wifes grandmother started crying over it! Once one of our buddys son got killed. The son had just been discharged from the army. He got it in his mind that the VFW, and every other group you can think of should send flowers. Of course they didnt as nobody knew him. It so happened his own son had just enlisted and this night they were having a going away party for him with all the kids friends and his army recruiters there. He showed up at my house drunk and raving about how bad everyone was that wasnt sending flowers etc. He wanted me to walk over to his house with him to the party. I really stepped into it. In front of all his sons friends he lit into the recruiters that had he knew how the army treated their men etc he never would have let his son join! Now he was so drunk he could hardly stand and really caused a scene! I had enough of it, snatched him up and carried him over my shoulder into the house. Asked his wife where I could throw him on a bed and he passed out! Then I went back outside to the BBQ and apologized to the recruiters. I had to work with that nut for 20 years!
Cancer got him.

I guess I don't get it. I mean, were you waiting for him to eat the second meal? I was taught that it's polite to wait for everyone to sit at the table before eating. However, once the meal is started, it's every fork for himself.

If it were me, once the first round is done, it's do as you please. If he wants to sit there and eat more, have at it. Just don't expect me to sit there with you just because you're eating.

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Freedom isn't free.

I have to ask what is OCD?

Google is your friend.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Comes in varying degrees.

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No good deed goes unpunished.

You have the correct answer. We should have gotten up, thanked them and left but I felt I was being rude enough telling him to start eating.

Actually, it is CDO. Its the same as OCD except the letters are in the correct order.

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Some collect art; I shoot it!

I think you should refer to that guy as an acquaintance ... not a friend.

Seems if your friend has a long history of this behavior, why wonder if you might've been out of line?

So is simply answering answering easy questions.

The local Cops told me one..OCD..this guy worked in one of the offices and had for years....He parked in a designated area in the parking lot..He would get out of his car and lock it and then proceed to go back and checked whether he locked it....One time by count he checked and started to walk away then return to recheck it....
fourteen times. I think he performed his job ok, but the car thing was something he did about every day......Who knows...The cops actually mentioned to him that they routinely checked that all vehicles were locked ..Was BS but they actually felt sorry for him.....He told them thanks and continued to do the same thing......They gave up and let him keep checking...In fact the cops finally accepted that he had some kind of thing and he was happy so they were happy...Who knows as I get older I might just start doing something like that...Naw I'm to lazy for that ..maybe one extra check....

This guy does the car thing too. We wait out in the hot sun as he sits in the car touching all the knobs several times over before he backs it out so we can get in. When he parks it at the restaurant he sits in the car touching all the knobs over and over, exits, goes around the car several times running his fingers under the window sills to make sure they are shut.

No, he's a friend but one who lives in DE/FL and I live in MD so I don't see him much. Last time in FL he told me about his military career which was quite interesting. He is a retired Lt. Col. in the reserves and saw active duty in VN working for Special Operations.

It scared me that I knew EXACTLY what you did there.

Does he own any revolvers?

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SWCA 2870

A friend is not a feller who is taken in by sham.
A friend is one who knows our faults and doesn't give a damn

I think you did all right, its probably early dementia or something similar. I've tried to be there for an old buddy that came down with dementia. After I retired I was in his area and dropped by, he seemed to be overjoyed that I came by to visit. I did not know he had dementia, he mentioned that he was having trouble getting his driver's license back, it never dawned on me that he had any mental problems. We had known each other for years then he retired early after 911, he had some serious issues with PTSD from his tour in Vietnam as a Marine. That was all I thought he had for problems, not that I don't consider PTSD a serious problem. To get to my point is that my friend started calling me every day, wanting me to come over and see him or play cribbage. I told him that I'm not the kind of guy that needs a constant source of entertainment and that I'm quite happy seeing him once a week or so. He would not lay off calling, my wife once told him "The more you call the less he's likely to return your call." On my last visit with him I noticed his difficulty walking, which is a symptom of dementia and flat out asked him if he was experiencing early stages of dementia. He admitted it to me and mentioned that he had burned off all of his friends and was hoping I would be there for him. I was up front with him and told him that I did not have the patience required and told him about my MIL and dealing with her dementia. I tried to keep in touch with him ever now and then but he was too demanding of my time, I am no saint and will readily admit to that. I basically cut him loose about a year ago, he would call with his usual "Whatcha Doin?" But I did not return his calls and have no regrets, we come into this world alone and thats how we leave...