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09-06-2014, 12:39 AM
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Fixing the wife's Jeep- wife helping...
My wife's Jeep developed a crack in the exhaust manifold. So, I got a new one. She wanted to help put it on. This does not decrease installation time.
My wife is not tool savvy. All afternoon I heard stuff like:
Mrs. Rastoff: Hand me the sideways turny thing.
Rastoff: You mean the socket wrench?
Mrs. Rastoff: Give me the flat wrench.
Rastoff: What's a "flat" wrench? Do you want the combination wrench?
Even after I just told her what each tool was, it just went in one ear and out the other.
Rastoff: Please hand me the 14mm combination wrench.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's that? Is that the one with the turny thing?
Rastoff: No, it's the one with an open end wrench on one end and a box wrench on the other.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's a box wrench?
Rastoff: The flat, bent one.
Mrs. Rastoff: Why didn't you just ask for that in the first place??? It doesn't look like a box.
I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything. But, I've had to learn a whole new language. It took us about 4 hours to change that manifold. During that time, I learned a whole new set of names for my tools. I'm not going to commit that new name set to memory though, they'll just change next time.
Guys, don't try to teach your wife. She probably doesn't care enough to learn the proper names of tools anyway. Just roll with it and you'll be better off.
__________________
Freedom isn't free.
Last edited by Rastoff; 09-06-2014 at 12:41 AM.
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09-06-2014, 09:30 AM
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My wife helped me with a repair job once. She knew the tools pretty well as she kept telling me they used the same ones in her operating room at work. That was more information than I wished to know about surgery.
I bought her a set of tools in a tool bag too so she'd stop using mine.
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09-06-2014, 09:55 AM
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Sounds like a marriage made in Heaven to me. Four hour project, no disagreements, still speaking to one another,..........Praise The Lord!
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09-06-2014, 09:57 AM
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Heck feel lucky only thing I can get my wife to help with is finding me jobs to do. And their always two person jobs I can't do because of no help. Then I hear the "why don't you fix some of the things I ask you to fix" Can't win either way.
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Psalm 23:4
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09-06-2014, 09:57 AM
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and that's how the fight started.....
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09-06-2014, 10:12 AM
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fixing jeep
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
My wife's Jeep developed a crack in the exhaust manifold. So, I got a new one. She wanted to help put it on. This does not decrease installation time.
My wife is not tool savvy. All afternoon I heard stuff like:
Mrs. Rastoff: Hand me the sideways turny thing.
Rastoff: You mean the socket wrench?
Mrs. Rastoff: Give me the flat wrench.
Rastoff: What's a "flat" wrench? Do you want the combination wrench?
Even after I just told her what each tool was, it just went in one ear and out the other.
Rastoff: Please hand me the 14mm combination wrench.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's that? Is that the one with the turny thing?
Rastoff: No, it's the one with an open end wrench on one end and a box wrench on the other.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's a box wrench?
Rastoff: The flat, bent one.
Mrs. Rastoff: Why didn't you just ask for that in the first place??? It doesn't look like a box.
I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything. But, I've had to learn a whole new language. It took us about 4 hours to change that manifold. During that time, I learned a whole new set of names for my tools. I'm not going to commit that new name set to memory though, they'll just change next time.
Guys, don't try to teach your wife. She probably doesn't care enough to learn the proper names of tools anyway. Just roll with it and you'll be better off.
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Very good advice!---and, never dream of offering to reorganize her kitchen to make it more efficient! If you do, you will regret it!!
olcop
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09-06-2014, 10:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skrazo
Sounds like a marriage made in Heaven to me. Four hour project, no disagreements, still speaking to one another,..........Praise The Lord!
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It's a Festivus Miracle!
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09-06-2014, 10:30 AM
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LABOR RATES:
MECHANIC RATE: $50 PER HOUR
IF YOU WATCH: $100 PER HOUR
IF YOU HELP $200 PER HOUR
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09-06-2014, 10:39 AM
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I remodeled my sisters kitchen while she worked on the bathroom.Walked in on her using one of my $20 wood chisels to open a paint can You would think a 50 year old woman with a father and a brother who were contractors would know better! She got mad because I yelled lol
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09-06-2014, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chief38
LABOR RATES:
MECHANIC RATE: $50 PER HOUR
IF YOU WATCH: $100 PER HOUR
IF YOU HELP $200 PER HOUR
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+ If you already tried to fix it...................$300 per hour
I had a neighbor once who would get stuck on a car repair and call me over, usually I'd have to break the news that he would have to reassemble everything he had taken apart and start over, sometimes I would tell him "if you stop right now I can still fix it"
Jim in Iowa
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09-06-2014, 03:16 PM
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It's a Quality Bonding Moment and seen on TV leads to a romantic moment afterwards using some product if you need such a item.
Mu Wife has her own language when we do projects. What's scary is I know what she means now!!
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Still Running Against the Wind
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09-06-2014, 05:34 PM
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Rastoff, since you only posted this yesterday, it may still not be too late to thank the Mrs. without getting into her territory with out being asked....
Just take her out to a "fancy" place to eat, and let her know that's your way of thanking her for her helping you with your project.
Oh, too, you might offer to have her nails done at a place of her choice.
WuzzFuzz
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09-06-2014, 06:27 PM
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Reminds me of the time my wife asked for a drill.
"Sure what kind, cordless, corded, 3/8", 1/2", hammerdrill, drill press, hand drill, reversable?"
Got her the 18 volt cordless Black and Decker.
Then she asked for a bit.
"Sure what kind, twist, spade, forstner, masonry?"
"I just want to make a hole."
I ended up doing it for her.
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Keep on Chooglin'
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09-06-2014, 08:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skrazo
Sounds like a marriage made in Heaven to me. Four hour project, no disagreements, still speaking to one another,..........Praise The Lord!
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It is a marriage made in Heaven. Honestly, I didn't think twice about the fact that the two of us were in close quarters for four hours with a slight language barrier. We both enjoyed the project ant the Jeep started right up when we were done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WuzzFuzz
Just take her out to a "fancy" place to eat, and let her know that's your way of thanking her for her helping you with your project.
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I took her to Baskin Robins for an ice cream cone today. Does that count?
Quote:
Originally Posted by WuzzFuzz
Oh, too, you might offer to have her nails done at a place of her choice.
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Have her nails done? Dude, you don't know my wife. She and her sister hiked 40 miles of the Pacific Crest trail by themselves. She'd much rather have a new camp knife than to get her nails done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian41
I bought her a set of tools in a tool bag too so she'd stop using mine.
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Yeah, I tried that. A week later all her tools were missing and I still had to go find mine. After almost 18 years of marriage I've learned that tools are a perishable item. I have a few that she knows not to touch because the are irreplaceable. But regular stuff, like screwdrivers and pliers, are all fair game.
I thought of locking my tool box once. I actually locked it one day and turned around and unlocked it before I got 10' away. It's just not worth the anguish.
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Freedom isn't free.
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09-06-2014, 08:07 PM
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Reminds me of the old joke:
Man sends wife to HW store to buy a file. The counterman asks, "OK, what kind?"
Wife says, "I don't know. He didn't say"
Counterman says "Well, he probably just wants a flat ******* like this one."
Wife says, "Just in case, better give a couple of them round ********es, too."
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09-06-2014, 08:11 PM
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Just to have some more fun, here's my wife's idea of the names of tools:
These are all pliers-
Side cutters, slip joint pliers, Channel Locks, lineman's pliers, etc. are all names that mean nothing to her. Ask for a pair of needle nose pliers and you could get any of these.
These are all hammers-
Claw, rip, ball peen, mallet, rubber mallet, are once again, all foreign names to her. Ask for a hammer and you could get any of these (provided she can lift it).
Screwdriver?
Yep, you guessed it, these are all identical. Phillips #1, #2, #3, #4, flat head, slotted, Reed Prince, Square Drive, Posidrive, Torx, once again, all foreign. She does know what I want if I ask for a Phillips, but it's random which size she'll pick.
Even so, she's the best. She'd rather spend the weekend camping or go to a 4 day school at Front Sight than go see a "girlie" movie. She gets up at 4AM to make me lunch and home schools our son. You won't find a better woman anywhere and I'll fight the man to the death who says different.
__________________
Freedom isn't free.
Last edited by Rastoff; 09-06-2014 at 08:13 PM.
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09-06-2014, 08:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kwill1911
Counterman says "Well, he probably just wants a flat ******* like this one."
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I couldn't figure out what file name would be blanked out. Then it hit me, it's a b@stard file.
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Freedom isn't free.
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09-06-2014, 08:26 PM
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You said she had a sister???
e.
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09-06-2014, 08:54 PM
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My wife helps. I will send her for a beer-she knows what that is
I'm from the school of thought that I will get my own stuff-I save the wife and kids for picking up stuff afterwards
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09-06-2014, 09:04 PM
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I trained my wife and all 4 children the proper names and use of the standard tools we use for professional maintenance of rental properties. The kids got taught to help me. The wife got taught, so she could fix our home since I did it all day long. When my daughter got married, her husband had 7 rental units, she knows more about fixing them than he do!
I had employees that were 30 year experienced maintenance men, and they can't tell you the correct name for pipes or the right size. If the tool isn't sold at K-mart or Wal-mart they don't think it is made. You can imagine some of the repairs I would find. I told them my daughter was a better maintenance man than they were, they didn't believe me until I forwarded them a video text of her replacing a furnace motor while she was 4 months pregnant! Ivan
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09-06-2014, 09:07 PM
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A shoulder thing that goes up....
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09-06-2014, 09:10 PM
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My wife has never tried to help me with the car.
Once, however, after crawling under the car and getting both hands engaged to where i couldn't let go with either one of them, our Golden Retriever joined me and started licking my ear.
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09-06-2014, 09:12 PM
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My wife actually has some mechanical aptitude but when we're working together I realize she has no practical hands-on, I've seen this done before background. We both grew up on a farm but she was the princess stays in the house type.
The worst though is she will not/can not put tools back where she got them when she's done. I finally bought her a tool set of her own but....you guessed it....she can't find them cuz she don't put stuff back!
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09-06-2014, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
I couldn't figure out what file name would be blanked out. Then it hit me, it's a b@stard file.
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Yeah, who knew the forum was politically correct?
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Kevin Williams SWCA1649 HF208
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09-06-2014, 09:36 PM
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Wife number two had to help with the building of a tool shed. I'm on a ladder. Told her to watch for the 2x4's behind her. They were slipping. She frowned and says I see them. Ok! One fell hit on the head and KO'ed her. She didn't respond quickly to my shaking her and calling her name. So I slapped her a couple of times. Under my breath I said thanks I needed that. She came around in about three minutes. I helped in the house made and ice pack and went back to work.
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09-06-2014, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
I couldn't figure out what file name would be blanked out. Then it hit me, it's a b@stard file.
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Careful, Rastoff. You'll get dinged by the prissy for creative spelling.
'
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Dick Burg
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09-06-2014, 11:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
My wife's Jeep developed a crack in the exhaust manifold. So, I got a new one. She wanted to help put it on. This does not decrease installation time.
My wife is not tool savvy. All afternoon I heard stuff like:
Mrs. Rastoff: Hand me the sideways turny thing.
Rastoff: You mean the socket wrench?
Mrs. Rastoff: Give me the flat wrench.
Rastoff: What's a "flat" wrench? Do you want the combination wrench?
Even after I just told her what each tool was, it just went in one ear and out the other.
Rastoff: Please hand me the 14mm combination wrench.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's that? Is that the one with the turny thing?
Rastoff: No, it's the one with an open end wrench on one end and a box wrench on the other.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's a box wrench?
Rastoff: The flat, bent one.
Mrs. Rastoff: Why didn't you just ask for that in the first place??? It doesn't look like a box.
I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything. But, I've had to learn a whole new language. It took us about 4 hours to change that manifold. During that time, I learned a whole new set of names for my tools. I'm not going to commit that new name set to memory though, they'll just change next time.
Guys, don't try to teach your wife. She probably doesn't care enough to learn the proper names of tools anyway. Just roll with it and you'll be better off.
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Just the opposite here. My wife was a truck mechanic in the shop. She not only has and knows the name of the wrenches but sometimes she lets mr hand one to her. Life is good.
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09-06-2014, 11:33 PM
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Because of a nasty divorce on his mother's part and her working weekends, my nephew lived with me almost 100% of every weekend from the age of 2.5 to 5. I was racing desert motorcycles at the time. By the time he was 4 he knew the names of all common mechanic's hand tools and could hand the right one to me. We read motorcycle magazines to him at bed time. He could identify most of the common dirt bikes on sight by the age of 5. He grew up to become an ace automotive technician. ................ Big Cholla
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09-07-2014, 12:19 AM
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Company I used to work for actually had a part of the test where you had to identify various hand tools. I asked the tester after I finished how many people could identify all of them. He started laughing and said that you would be suprised at the answers. Frank
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09-07-2014, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snubbyfan
Reminds me of the time my wife asked for a drill.
"Sure what kind, cordless, corded, 3/8", 1/2", hammerdrill, drill press, hand drill, reversable?"
Got her the 18 volt cordless Black and Decker.
Then she asked for a bit.
"Sure what kind, twist, spade, forstner, masonry?"
"I just want to make a hole."
I ended up doing it for her.
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It is really psychology at work. She doesn't want or know how to do it but she got you to do it the end which was the ultimate goal!
__________________
Bill
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09-07-2014, 12:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ejeli
You said she had a sister???
e.
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She does have a sister who is single. And, not long ago, both my wife and sister-in-law replaced the engine in the sister's truck. They did it under the watchful eye of my father-in-law. I couldn't help at that time due to a broken leg.
My sister-in-law has a boy friend. If I attempt to describe him all my words will be blanked out and I'll be banned from this site for life. If you can't tell, I don't like the guy. Please come and get rid of him. She is a great girl and I hate to see her with this loser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rburg
Careful, Rastoff. You'll get dinged by the prissy for creative spelling.
'
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If I get dinged for using the proper name of a tool, I'll take that hit. If I get banned for using the proper name of a tool, then I wouldn't want to be part of this site anymore.
__________________
Freedom isn't free.
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09-07-2014, 01:26 PM
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It took my wife a few years of watching me fix things to get the names of things right. When I started racing my Harley I used to take my buddy to help me but all he did was look for girls. Asked the wife if she thought she could do it and she turned out to be the best pit crew I ever had. Plus she was better looking than my buddy.
DW
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09-07-2014, 11:35 PM
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Very interesting original post. I see from
"My wife is not tool savvy. All afternoon I heard stuff like:
Mrs. Rastoff: Hand me the sideways turny thing.
Rastoff: You mean the socket wrench?
Mrs. Rastoff: Give me the flat wrench.
Rastoff: What's a "flat" wrench? Do you want the combination wrench?"
that SHE was using the wrenches and YOU were fetching them.
Nice work if you can get it.
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09-07-2014, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Model520Fan
...that SHE was using the wrenches and YOU were fetching them.
Nice work if you can get it.
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Yes, when my wife says she wants to do something, she really wants to do it. The only time I take over is if she isn't strong enough or can't figure out how to get to it. Otherwise, I let her do it.
Just like anything, there's a tremendous sense of pride when you can say, "I did that." She likes that when it comes to her Jeep.
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Freedom isn't free.
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09-08-2014, 05:58 PM
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Husband to his wife: I'll hold this big punch and when I nod my head, you hit it!
***********
Husband helping in the kitchen: Hand me that meat tenderizer thingy.
Wife: You mean the rolling pin?
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09-08-2014, 07:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arjay
I remodeled my sisters kitchen while she worked on the bathroom.Walked in on her using one of my $20 wood chisels to open a paint can You would think a 50 year old woman with a father and a brother who were contractors would know better! She got mad because I yelled lol
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I know the feeling. Did you know that a 3/8" Whitworth open end is just a hair smaller then a 5/8" SAE nut, and can be made to fit if you use a large enough hammer?
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09-08-2014, 07:42 PM
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Working with the wife is especially enjoyable if they are a lefty and always turn the opposite direction of the right handed partner.
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09-08-2014, 07:49 PM
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I tried pulling the exhaust manifolds off my '66 Tbird last week to install headers. Half the bolts snapped off in the heads. When I told my wife what happened the only things she understood was the profanity and how much it was going to cost.
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09-08-2014, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WC145
I tried pulling the exhaust manifolds off my '66 Tbird last week to install headers. Half the bolts snapped off in the heads.
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Penetrating oil and patience are your friends. We soaked the bolts for about 6 hours before starting. I can't say for sure, but they sure came out easy. The Jeep is a 1999 Wrangler with about 160K on the clock.
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09-09-2014, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
My wife's Jeep developed a crack in the exhaust manifold. So, I got a new one. She wanted to help put it on. This does not decrease installation time.
My wife is not tool savvy. All afternoon I heard stuff like:
Mrs. Rastoff: Hand me the sideways turny thing.
Rastoff: You mean the socket wrench?
Mrs. Rastoff: Give me the flat wrench.
Rastoff: What's a "flat" wrench? Do you want the combination wrench?
Even after I just told her what each tool was, it just went in one ear and out the other.
Rastoff: Please hand me the 14mm combination wrench.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's that? Is that the one with the turny thing?
Rastoff: No, it's the one with an open end wrench on one end and a box wrench on the other.
Mrs. Rastoff: What's a box wrench?
Rastoff: The flat, bent one.
Mrs. Rastoff: Why didn't you just ask for that in the first place??? It doesn't look like a box.
I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything. But, I've had to learn a whole new language. It took us about 4 hours to change that manifold. During that time, I learned a whole new set of names for my tools. I'm not going to commit that new name set to memory though, they'll just change next time.
Guys, don't try to teach your wife. She probably doesn't care enough to learn the proper names of tools anyway. Just roll with it and you'll be better off.
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Let me get this straight: your wife offered to help you repair the car and did actual measurable work.........and you are complaining? Bill S
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09-09-2014, 02:07 PM
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My wifey pounds nails with the heel of her cowboy boots.
One problem: there is lathe under that plaster!
No problem: can be repaired with toothpaste!
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09-09-2014, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rastoff
Penetrating oil and patience are your friends. We soaked the bolts for about 6 hours before starting. I can't say for sure, but they sure came out easy. The Jeep is a 1999 Wrangler with about 160K on the clock.
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Yeah, I used plenty of both penetrating oil (soaked them daily for over a week) and patience but the bolts along the top of the manifold didn't cooperate at all. It's a major pain in the butt since the heads have to come off but it has given me an excuse to order some rebuilt heads that have been opened up a bit and have big CJ size valves. And, since it has a sticky lifter that takes forever to pump up and I'm tearing into it any way, I'm going to put in a new cam/lifters/timing chain while I'm at it. Gotta look for those silver linings.
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Don't kiss smiling dogs!
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09-09-2014, 09:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by V1 Rotate
Let me get this straight: your wife offered to help you repair the car and did actual measurable work.........and you are complaining? Bill S
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Nope, not complaining at all. Just pointing out some vocabulary differences.
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09-09-2014, 09:20 PM
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Question Do you want to be right or happy? I am happily married 30 years LOL
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