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04-01-2015, 07:40 PM
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I don't think my wife likes me very much
Last night she made lemon chicken and garlic spinach with mushrooms. I got a little sick.
I didn't see her eating any. Should I be suspicious?
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04-01-2015, 07:43 PM
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Rich, Italian food. Sometimes too much of a good thing. Seltzer helps. Joe
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Wisdom chases me; I'm faster
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04-01-2015, 07:49 PM
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Where did the mushrooms come from?
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Some collect art; I shoot it!
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04-01-2015, 07:52 PM
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Was she smiling ? 
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04-01-2015, 08:44 PM
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Nah just ate to much garlic
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04-01-2015, 09:25 PM
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Reminds me of that Kevin Kline movie "I love you to death" with Tracy Ullman. She tried killing him about 6 differents ways. Poisoning him just gave him gas.
https://youtu.be/31eZL1rEcTI
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04-01-2015, 09:46 PM
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If you do not recover get very suspicious. Going forward have one of her black cats sample it.
Oh, if it is bubbling and no heat is being applied. Run Forrest run.
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04-01-2015, 10:16 PM
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Has there been any previous husbands assume room temperature?
Do you have a large insurance policy?
Or is she just a bad cook...... 
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Only difference Fool/Mule-ears
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04-01-2015, 11:31 PM
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Did she collect the mushrooms herself? 
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Diddums
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04-01-2015, 11:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnmuratore
Last night she made lemon chicken and garlic spinach with mushrooms. I got a little sick.
I didn't see her eating any. Should I be suspicious?
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Only if she recently talked you into taking out a very large life insurance policy, with monthly premiums much higher than your monthly income. That should always be a clue.
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04-02-2015, 12:22 AM
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a slight almond flavor?
Beware, if your dinner has a slight flavor of almonds it is laced with cyanide. I would be very careful if I was you. She could add it to your food in small doses over time. The wife almost killed me with her food, not with poison, just with the cooking.
If it was me I'd seek pre-emptive revenge and change your beneficiary to the family dog.
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04-02-2015, 12:49 AM
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Well, I have one of those also just don't ever use- I would rather beg forgiveness than ask permission. Just some marital advice lol.
Pete
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04-02-2015, 01:52 AM
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Absent Comrade
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My wife told me the other day her kitchen timer quit working so I put a new battery in the smoke detector 
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Ray S&WCA #2810
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04-02-2015, 03:09 AM
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I've been married twice.....
I've been married twice and both of my wives died.
Oh my gosh, what did they die from?
Well, the first one died from eating poisonous mushrooms and the second one died from a fractured skull.
How did she get a fractured skull?
She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
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"He was kinda funny lookin'"
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04-02-2015, 04:40 AM
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We are in the same boat----I keep wondering why my wife hired a pool boy when we don't have a pool.
Seems like a waste of money to me.
Blessings
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TEXAS, by GOD
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04-02-2015, 08:09 AM
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When I was in HS I was going out with a Italian girl, her mother was a real whack job, she didn't even know what day of the week it was but she sure could cook, one night I was have dinner there and I asked what something was she said they were mushrooms, my mother goes out in the woods and picks them.
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04-02-2015, 08:20 AM
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I'll look forward to this episode of "Forensic Files."
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John 3:16 .
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04-02-2015, 08:45 AM
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I try hard not to make my wife mad at me, but it happens. I always wonder, where has my tooth brush been while I was away?
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04-02-2015, 09:40 AM
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My wife asked me to pull her fathers old single shot 20ga out of the safe the other day. I though it was because I was going to be out of town..... Now you have me thinking?
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04-02-2015, 10:17 AM
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My wife cooks but usually never eats the meals. Sometimes she will nibble some veggies but rarely the meat.
I think that its just a female thing. If it happens again, then I would start having pizza delivered.
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04-02-2015, 10:50 AM
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Yup, she's trying to poison you alright..........
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04-02-2015, 12:06 PM
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Every appliance in our house......
Quote:
Originally Posted by williamlayton
We are in the same boat----I keep wondering why my wife hired a pool boy when we don't have a pool.
Seems like a waste of money to me.
Blessings
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Every appliance always seems to broken. Several times a week I meet a repairman coming out when I get home. He always says something like "I serviced your dishwasher" or "I serviced your clothes dryer". I wish when he serviced something it would stay fixed. I told my wife he wasn't any good and she disagreed and said he was one of the best.
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04-02-2015, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleriver1
I try hard not to make my wife mad at me, but it happens. I always wonder, where has my tooth brush been while I was away?
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Does the bathroom suddenly look a whole lot cleaner? 
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04-02-2015, 01:57 PM
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Can I have the leftovers?
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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04-02-2015, 03:09 PM
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You need her to sign a pre-consumptional agreement.
Last edited by Cheesemonger; 04-02-2015 at 03:40 PM.
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04-02-2015, 03:15 PM
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Also, if she rinses you plate wearing a bio-hazard suit you might want to go the Michellinas route from now on...
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04-02-2015, 03:49 PM
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If your wife is anything like my Miss Pam and if and when the time comes that she doesn't like you anymore, believe me, you'll know it. And she won't keep you waitin' long neither. 
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04-03-2015, 01:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JSR III
My wife cooks but usually never eats the meals. Sometimes she will nibble some veggies but rarely the meat.
I think that its just a female thing. If it happens again, then I would start having pizza delivered. |
MANY women are funny about letting men see them eat.
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Release the Kraken
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04-03-2015, 09:33 AM
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My wife once made a meal which she intended to be so bad that I would suggest that we ditch it and go out for dinner. She was very disappointed when the kids and I shoveled it up and asked for more while she sat and watched us in shock. It was delicious and she said that she had dumped several leftover meals and some various cans of soup into a casserole dish. She never could get that one duplicated.
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